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A good friend of mine is coming over but he fancied my housemate, what should i do? PDF Print
Written by MissyElliott   

This one is quite urgent and I don't know what to do. I have a very good friend coming over next week to stay the night (he and I have been close friends for about 4 years). We lived together as students and have stayed in touch since then. I've began to feel really attracted to him and he is sending me mixed signals. I think I am becoming rather obvious when I talk to him but either he is completely oblivious or is trying to ignore it. He insists on always telling me about his romantic life but can't bare it when I try to confide in him, he comes across really disinterested and rather brash sometimes.

It's two opposite extremes, him talking about his romantic life, suggests friend territory, but then not wanting to hear about yours suggests he is jealous by your romantic life. 

Our relationship has changed since he moved away, whereas before I felt like one of his male friends, he will now admit to missing me and sends me virtual hugs and kisses etc....

It maybe that he is starting to warm to you from a relationship point of view.  The more time he's had to get to know you the more he's starting to think I really wouldn't mind being with this woman. 

We are in touch every day on msn, even if he just wants to check that I am there...and sometimes he will call me for hours. I know I am not his type but we really do get on, and even though he isn't what I would usually go for either I feel we have become so close I can't seperate my feelings of friendship and love/lust anymore.....to make things more complicated I have a friend who lives with me who fancies him too, and I know he found her to begin with 'attractive'. I'm scared that something is going to happen between them next week as it would break my heart, but I feel funny about speaking about it with her....

Yes, don't talk to her about it, as soon as you do that, he will become even more attractive in her mind, women just seem to think when a guy has competition, he's a hell of a lot more attractive than he is.  Whilst I don't know how a woman's mind works, I do find this happens a lot.  I do believe there is a risk that something will happen too.  You will just have to make sure you play things right without giving him too much contact with her or being too obvious about not giving them too much contact.

so what I am asking is, do you think he could potentially fancy me?

It does sound as though there is potential there.  I wouldn't say it's anywhere near conclusive, based on what you said.

And should I do anything to stop a potentially awkward situation or just let things unfold?

Try and get him out of the house when she is there and out with you or else if he wants to go out and do things on his own encourage him to do those things on his own as well.  It will be very difficult to keep them apart but as long as you make your time with him enjoyable, he'll be looking at you rather than her.  Make sure you have a good time and don't be overly insecure about him getting with her, otherwise that will show and make you look nervous and a bit malicious.  And make sure he sleeps in your room, not on the sofa, even if it's on your bedroom floor and you lay out a mattress there.  The problem with this is avoiding having sex with him whilst also having him in your room. 

The most important thing is to relax and have a good time with him, if you have a good time then he's going to remember that and want more of those good times.

Want to get the opinion of other ladies who visit this web site?  Try my new forum .

 

 

 
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