Main Menu
Ask Sam Index
1) Does he fancy you?
2) The Date
3) The Relationship
4) Sexual Desires
5) Body Language
Contact Sam
About Us
Order My book
Test:Does he Fancy You?
Article:Does he Fancy You?
Jigsaw Puzzles
Free Dating Profile Review
Sam's Favourite Article
Menstrual Cycle Calculator
Search This Site
Terms and Conditions
Privacy Statement
Are you Sam's perfect date?
Women and confidence
Site Feeds
feed image
feed image
feed image
feed image
Popular Articles

Download My Ebook from Smashwords $4.99 (approximately 3.25)
Download my Ebook from Smashwords

Make a Donation to Sams web site

Enter Amount:

My opinion as a Friend
Copyright 2006-2011. Please note the content of this site is my opinion only. My opinion should be treated like an opinion of a friend, it could be right it could be wrong.
Do most men like big bums or small bums? PDF Print
Written by taz   

Hi Sam.

q1: Please settle once and for all do most men like big bums or small bums? The media is always making us believe that men are SO into big butts! So when I ask my male friends; colleagues; brothers etc what they think of Kim Kardashian or Jennifer Lopez why do they all say 'Her arse is too big'. Who is lying?
Did you start the conversation off with your male friends, by saying do you like big bums and then give Jennifer Lopez as an example? If that was the case then the guys might have been pushed into saying “Her arse is too big”. Men don’t particularly like to follow the crowd, they like to have their own individual opinion.
My answer would be, that you could never say that all men do this or that, you could say in certain areas that “MOST” men do this and that. That is my answer for this, I believe a lot of men like a woman with a bit of meat on her bum, however it’s about moderation, not too big, not too small and in proportion to the woman’s body. There’s no point in a really thin women having a massive bum, because she probably fall over with the weight, whilst it will also look odd for a big woman to have a tiny bum. As I indicate in the book that I’ve just written, men don’t consciously know what’s programmed into their primitive brains. When they see an attractive woman, they automatically look at her and are blinded by science. They may see her as attractive, but they often find it difficult to verbalise the true reasons why they find her body attractive and that’s because their conscious brain doesn’t fully understand why their unconscious brain is saying “look at her, she is sexy”. Men may well say that they don’t like big bums, but I’d say it’s more than likely that those men don’t like something else about Jennifer Lopez, such as her age, her personality, and they have picked out her bum as the most distinctive thing that springs into their minds.
If you look at past centuries, you will find examples of women trying to artificially make themselves look more attractive.  You may have seen in Victorian times, women used to wear dresses that extended out at the back, so exaggerated, it was almost like they had someone hidden underneath it.  And we know from some of our animal ancestors that bums become bigger when fertile and turned on (baboons).
Women still use fashion accessories these days to make themselves look good.  Wearing high heels of a certain height, makes a woman push her bum out, pull her stomach in and have her boobs protruded forward without her consciously making an effort to do all that.  Everything just naturally falls into that perfect figure from wearing the right sized high heels, generally because women have to walk tall, upright and look confident.  I think it's safe to say men like a big bum to protrude back, rather than protrude sideways.  If it's big sideways, it makes her look as though she has a bigger bum and bigger hips.  Whereas if it protrudes back, when he looks at her sideways on he can clearly see a bum sticking out, a waist that protrudes inwards and a set of boobs that protrudes out, that's the kind of figure that most (not all) guys find sexy.  In addition it's also good having a bit of meat on a woman's bum when having sex, because then he has something soft to hold onto and not something boney.
The fact is men’s primitive brains are programmed to pick out fertile women. Whilst men will deny that and will pick out that they are not interested in having babies yet, it’s because they don’t know how their unconscious primitive brain is identifying sexy women. Jennifer Lopez was seen as a fertile sexy body some years ago, now she has passed through that phase and whilst many men still find her attractive, new, younger women have moved up a man’s attractive list.
q2: I don't want to sound vain but I am very popular with men, they say I am hot and sexy.
There is nothing wrong with being confident about yourself, as long as you don’t become arrogant about it and treat men badly. Women with confidence are attractive, women who are overpowering, insulting and think they are better because they have confidence are unattractive.
Men I work with openely declare this to me, at the same time acknowledging that they don't have a chance with me or they are married so dont mean to do anything about it. Women coworkers also tell me that men say I'm hot. My problem is there is one guy I like. Whenever we are around other coworkers he acts like he wants me; he stands close; walks near me protectively; looks suggestively at me with eyebrows raised ; laughs at my jokes and touches me sometimes.. but he does not compliment me like the other men do and when we are alone he doesnt seem that interested, he is just casual and cool. Is it possible he does not find me attractive and just wants other guys to think we're an item because he thinks they will envy him? Do men generally do this sort of thing?
The answer is that when there is competition around he has to make more effort to keep them away from you. When the competition goes, he can be more relaxed and cool about you and also see if you make some effort too. Standing close and walks near you; being possessive and warning other guys to stay away. Raises eyebrows; Indicates he needs to open his eyes fully to see what a great sight he has in front of him. Laughs at your jokes; indicates that he finds you entertaining whatever you say, even if your jokes are rubbish. Touches you; to make you think of him in a sexual way, to make you think of him as a dominant man and to see whether you reciprocate and touch back. He doesn’t compliment you; but he can speak with actions rather than words, he doesn’t want to be too obvious and men learn not to tell a woman too early on that they find them attractive, because the result usually is that the woman end up not fancying them. In my opinion, his behaviour indicates that he does fancy you. However eventually he should start showing signs of flirting and having contact with you when the guys are not there too. I wouldn’t say it’s something that men generally do, though I do think it’s common amongst men with a certain personality.
< Prev   Next >