Ok, so I work with this guy. He's Spanish. I'm 23 and he is 26- we are both single.

A few weeks ago we went out in a big group, I sat next to him and it was like we were the only 2 there, we spoke all night, he gave really good signals, like eye contact, touching my arm, smiling, etc. That night he stayed in my place because he was locked out of his own house, but nothing happened (He had a girlfriend at the time).

I do believe Spanish men tend to be much more touchy than the average british guy.  But all those signals together are very positive. 

The next week at work, he didn't ignore me completely, but he wasn't as friendly and basically a bit odd.

A guy does tend to be slightly uncomfortable and wait for the woman to approach him after something like this happens.  He slept at your house and you chatted all night, he might be a bit confused about how he stands with you. How is it going to affect you working together, were you uncomfortable about that night and he probbably feels as though your avoiding him, just as much as he is avoiding you, you were probably both thinking that same thing.  He also may have just been having a bad week and not wanting his morale to reflect on you. 

So the weeks passed on, and he has warmed to me, generally initiates conversation. I bumped into him on the street and he was basically just chattering away just to have an excuse for keeping me there (I hope!), so we went and sat in the park for a while and chatted. I suggested that we go to a bar, but he couldn't that night, but we made a date for the following night, where I met him for cocktails which he bought. I knew he was busy at the time, so was grateful for his company, even though he was tired.

So the night went well, we didn't talk about anything too intense, just light hearted stuff. Some stuff he mentioned though made me think he wasn't interested, like, suggesting I go off travelling, or he mentioning that he wanted to move back to Spain, or mentioning other girls.

Mentioning other girls is not good, that suggests friends territory.  Suggesting you go off travelling could have meant anything (like maybe going back to Spain with him and testing whether you are open to that).

During the night, I asked him to describe me with just one Spanish word, and he said "shy." So I got defensive, as you do, and he said "I think shy is sexy sometimes.."

That's flirting, all guys find some shy women sexy.  Shy women are just as sexy as mouthy women, it's the whole package that counts and also depends on a guys taste in women.  Shy can mean vulnerable to a man, vulnerable can make a guy want to protect a woman and therefore be able to get a hold of her and boost her confidence.  It can also mean that he has a dominant effect over her and can therefore feel confident that he has the upper hand and that upper hand gives him the confidence to do things he's not confident of doing with aggressive women.  It's very feminine all these traits that I mention and it's very masculine all the traits I mention about him.

So at the end of the night, he kissed me on the cheek and we parted ways.

Earlier, I bumped into him in the supermarket, he came up behind me and grabbed my shoulders, but seemed really pleased to see me...

I'm just afraid if I make the first move, and he rejects me, it will end this little nice fantasy I've built up for myself, but if I don't, I fear the opportunity will pass.

I think a guy like this will make his move eventually, as long as you remain friendly, flirt with him and give off good signs.  He sounds as though he has confidence with women and knows when an opportunity comes to ask them out.

I wonder sometimes if he is just unsure of how I feel?

Then you have to make him sure of how you feel! 

Reply by Ash23 on 16.04.08

However, things have gone a bit awry. Or maybe I'm just being paranoid?

He doesn't seem to be as interested in me now as he was before. I mean, his mood changes on a weekly basis.

Men do have changing moods, they are not forever happy people, they can have bad days, bad weeks and bad times like women do.  They can be busy, ill or have other women as their current priority.  It could be any number of things, he could be feeling as equally paranoid and insecure about you.

Like today we were chatting and he said "I need to get myself a girlfriend, but I haven't found anyone that I like, or that I could even think of getting to like.."

To be honest, my heart just plummeted! Was he saying this as a gentle let-down, or did he want to see what my reaction would be?

I think it could have been either of those.  It could have been a hint or cue to you to say "well you are a good looking bloke, I'm sure you won't have any problems, I certainly won't mind going out with you".  Equally he could be seeing you as a female friend he can confide in and help him to understand other women.  It does prove one thing though, he's feeling lonely and really does want a long term relationship.

I have a feeling that maybe he knows I like him? But I definitely got good signals before, and can't understand why he has suddenly gone off me?

He hasn't suddenly gone off you, he is just going through a period where you seem to think he has gone off you, but really it could be for any hundreds of other reasons why his mood changes on a weekly basis, you could even be giving him mixed signals or making him feel insecure.

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