i'm the manager of a bar, in a marine camp, with all the guys you tend to get a rapport, but there is this one bloke! for the last year or so, he's been driving me crazy, he stares, holds eye contact longer than is needed, we tended to get drunk together on occasions and ended up talking the night away, he's very touchy feely, he always looks for me at work. always has to say hello, morning, whatever. we seem to have knowing looks between us. he touches my arm, my back my waist when he can! we always play fight, he has even wrestled me to the floor, (messing around) and slag each other off, mock arguments! but we do have serious conversations too!

These are all the signs of a close friend. Most men like feminine women. You seem to be doing all these macho things with him as if he sees you as one of the guys. Somebody to have fun with, who he can relax with. Usually if you really fancy a woman you are slightly nervous about touching and getting too intimate and certainly you wouldn't want to have mock fights with a lady you fancy because you might do some damage.

we've kissed,

What type of kiss was it? A passionate kiss or kiss on the cheek?

held hands, but never anything more! i told him i fell for him, but at the time he was married, a drunken confession, that we have never spoken of since!

If he knows you fancy him, then surely he would have made a move on you by now, either from a relationship point of view or from a sex point of view.

he seems to egg me on then back right off!!!

Very confusing, unless you're misinterpreting him!

he has recently split with his wife, but he hasn't changed towards me! i don't know where i stand with him, whether he likes me or i'm just his mate! recently, i think he has started to see someone, but he never admits it! if you can make sense of this i would be grateful, as its driving me crazy xx

For some reason this seems to arouse my suspicions that he may be gay. He has just split up with his wife. He is very touchy, feely with you and manages to give you lots of eye contact, he sounds relaxed around you and very close to you, yet has not made a move on you. You think he is seeing someone but you don't know who (maybe he is having an affair with someone he shouldn't have: like a man or a wife of somebody). Surely he would tell a close friend like you, if he was seeing someone that he could be open about. Unless of course you are mistaken about him seeing someone else.

There are a lot of signs there that could be confused with him being attracted to you and you have a great rapport, so you sound as though you would make ideal partners. Sorry but this is one where I am going to have to say that I can't make any sense of your situation. Your situation confuses me, just as much as it confuses you. I would be more likely to punt at the idea that he saw you just as a friend rather than a potential relationship, if that's any help.