I am smitten with a man I used to work with.  He is 50 and I am 32. 

Men adore younger women,  the more years difference between you, the more likely he is to fancy you.  Men do tend to struggle to ask women that are dramtically younger than them out though, after all why would a woman 18 years younger fancy him.

We are both single - he is divorced and i am in the final stages of mine.  Recently (over a period of couple of months)he has been flirting with me and asking people about me.

Asking about your availability.

I finished at my job on Sunday afternoon to accept a promotion.  this promotion means that I will no longer have any reason to be in contact with him. (we worked together in the same area)

The few ladies i worked with said that he was deifinitely interested in me. 

OK, if several other people with a different perspective noticed he fancied you, then I think it's pretty conclusive. 

However, on my last day of work he was no where to be seen all day. 

That bears a very striking resemblance to a message I've replied to in the past few days: He didn't come and say goodbye as I was leaving, does that mean he doesn't fancy me?

 
My colleagues said that he would not ask me out until I had left - and that i should wait until after christmas to see if anything happens as he has children from his divorce and being christmas he will want to be with them. 

Yep, they are very good your colleagues, exactly right in every word. 

Everything he did was sweet from giving compliments, to asking people about me and my situation - to recommending me for another job - to remembering my birthday and sending me an email at home wishing me a happy birthday even though he wished me a happy birthday at work. 

The fact that he sent that email at home after saying happy birthday, is a demonstration that he will use any excuse whatsoever to try and get some contact with you outside of work. 

i have even been talking to him and as we are talking he was checking out my bum and legs TWICE! 

So he likes the look of your rear bumper then! 

However - I was surprised to have him stay away from me when i was leaving. 

As you can see from that other article I wrote which is linked above, he would have wanted to avoid messing up on the last time he saw you and being in the spotlight with other people there.  The best way for a guy to do that is to avoid the object of his affection and try and see her when there is less competition for her attention and when there are less emotions involved when talking to her. 

He was giving me mixed messages coming on to me and talking to one of the other ladies (she is like a mum to everyone of us girls in the office)about me. 

Quite nervous then and this is what I mean about last chance to see a woman.  He gets emotional, he gets nervous, it looks like mixed messages, he doesn't want to give mixed messages, look nervous or emotional, so the best option is to avoid too much contact with the woman.  Makes no sense, but that's the difficulties that go through a guys mind and his demons usually win. 

and the next minute he ignores me.  What happened?  I have txt one of the girls in the office that I used to work with and she can't believe it as she was convinced that he liked me.

That's because women think in the same way, and men think completely differently, so you can understand other women being confused by his actions as well. 

And she said that he has never seen him act like that with anyone else before.

On the saturday before I left I was in talking with another lady in the office and we were having a chat.  We somehow got onto office relationships and she looked at me as she was saying that it was disgusting and she would never do it.  As far as I am aware - the guy I like has never told anyone other than the lady I work with because of his position of authority.  If he talks about me with her it is in the privacy of his office or when no one else is around.  If someone does come he stops talking straight away....!

That's logical because men like to be private and discreet about their relationship. 

Since this conversation happened the day before i left - and everything was ok between the guy I like and me.  Then the following day he ignores me - is it possible that the girl I was chatting to said something to him.  She was asking about my divorce etc. 

It is possible, but you shouldn't make that presumption until you know for sure.  As I said in that other article, men do tend to do things like this when it's time to say goodbye to anyone, they like to hide or fade into the background. 

Do men tend to listen to gossip? 

They listen to it, but experienced men learn to be very cautious and wait until they know facts.  Because no offence to women, but gossip tends to be flannel most of the time and it's often used as a tool for jealous women to manipulate situations.  Most experienced men know that, so when women are telling them gossip they will be going, yeah right I believe you.  It depends on how persuasive she has been and what evidence she has given him to support her gossip.  

If she was talking to him about office relationships and saying how disgusting they are, then lets face it, that theory is pretty much out the window now you have left anyway.  And let's face it she's talking absolute bull anyway, because if she was having an office relationship she wouldn't be going around saying it was disgusting.  She's obviously got some motive for spreading those words.  I've heard plenty of women saying office relationships are disgusting, the next minute the same women are flirting with a guy in the canteen and at the photocopier.

How long should I wait to hear from him?  He has my home email address and mobile at work.... now of course it is christmas and he will be back after the Jan 1.  Should I chase him - I sent him an email after I left wishing him a merry christmas. 

Was there a question in it to make it easy for him to send a reply? 

Should I follow it up or wait for a reply. 

Once we get into the new year, if you haven't received anything from him.  Then you can send him an email saying "Happy New Year.  What have you being doing over the Christmas holidays?"

How quickly do men stop fancying a woman - is it possible to like me one day then not want to know the next day...especially after me after months of us being attracted to each other and subtle flirtations. 

It depends on how long they have known them, how intense the relationship was and how much they fancied you.  Generally the longer the relationship the longer it takes to forget the lady.   Indeed there are girls from my school days that I remember probably a few times a year still, those were the ones I considered very special.  But as years go by, I remember them less and less.  So this is true of all women that men meet, the more special they were and the longer he knew them, the more intense the relationship, the longer time it takes to forget about them, over time the amount he thinks about them decreases. 

For example there's a woman that left work recently, I was ready to ask her out, I was thinking about her most days.  Since she left I think about her on less occasions each week and I have learnt that it wasn't meant to happen and I now concentrate on a new woman on my mind who I have regular contact with at work.  This can't be exactly matched to your situation because the only reason I haven't contacted her again, is because she left suddenly and now has a new boyfriend, so that's why I wouldn't even dream of contacting her anymore.

Of course the other variable is whether there are other women that have come on the scene since then.  Men fancy a wide range of women, they are used to women being unavailable and more used to women rejecting them, either directly (him asking her out, her saying no) or indirectly (by a woman giving mixed signals or the brush off).  So they do fancy more women and learn to move on quickly, that doesn't stop them thinking about past women, it just means they get over them quicker and think about them less.  I must point out that men tend not to think of one particular woman constantly throughout the day unless the relationship has progressed very far or he really has one hell of a crush on her.  If he was to do this, then he wouldn't be able to concentrate on his work, so he learns to switch off and concentrate on other things (not sex, but work!).

Admittedly, though when I emailed him I would always address it to gorgeous man" or "dearest" or another form of pet names.  I always signed off with a kiss - so I am guessing he would have gotten the hint pretty quickly.  When he emailed me for my birthday I sent him one back telling him how wonderful I thought he was for remembering.  Do men of his age group (50) like it when women take the iniative and ask for a drink coffee etc? 

Try reading "Sam's favourite article ", the guy in this article was 40 at the time, but nevertheless the lady mentioned was younger and took the initiative.

He is young for his age - so I feel that he would be fairly ok - but you never know.

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