I fancy a guy in my gym, he is lovely! I go quite regularly as does he! Recently we have started smiling at each other and the other day I saw him outside the gym and we smiled.

So is that all you have done, smile at each other. You have never spoken with each other? Yet you believe you fancy him.

Whats the next move?

I think the next move is to get to know him before you make any judgements about fancying him. It sounds as though you have not had the opportunity to get to know him yet, without getting to know him you won't know whether you really do fancy him. Nor will he or you have had an opportunity to ask each other out..

I have been brought up to believe the man should make the first move and I am scared if I do I'll get rejected...??!!

That thought of "it's a man's job to ask a woman out" dates back centuries when there were certain old-fashioned rules about asking each other out. When you could only go out with somebody of your own class and where asking out was the man's job. Sexual equality for women in the last century changed all that, now women can do what they want, the problem for men, is women have took the options of doing the things that they like and left men with the jobs they don't like doing "like it is still a man's job to ask a woman out".

The point is, that women are too scared and will always make the excuse that is the man's job, because women just don't have the guts to do it. Do you think a man is not scared that he will get rejected, do you think a man finds it easy to ask a woman out? He certainly does get scared and finds it difficult.

So it is about time women start developing some guts and stop the excuses. So are you and lots of other women still living in the last century? If you are, then you are going to miss going out with a lot of men in your lifetime. Yes, you are going to get rejected occasionally, but you are less likely to get rejected as much as men do.

That is not to say, that you should now go out and be the one to ask men out. But you should certainly take the opportunities when they arise. You should always pick an opportunity when you know enough about the man, and when an ideal point comes into a conversation. If you concentrate enough you will instinctively go for it in that point of conversation. For example you or him might bring into the conversation that you fancy going to see something at the cinema. Ideal opportunity to say that you fancy going to see that same thing, without making it too obvious you fancy him. So you don't really need to ask him out directly.

And in your current situation with this guy, I think your nowhere near the point of being able to ask each other out, if all you have done is smile at each other.