See if you can figure this one, Sam, cos to me the situation is r confusing. Or maybe simply this guy is teasing me & thinks he has artistic licence to screw a woman's head up? !

A married/professional guy I fancied & flirted heavily with many years ago for 2yrs when I was single, approx 3/4 years since I suddenly began accidentally bumping into in town on occasions & still even now. 1st time I saw him in ages, I was walking with my husband. I noticed he avoided eye contact with me, visibly winced & we both silently walked by each other.

If he did fancy you, he would have been uncomfortable seeing your husband with you.  Particularly if he didn't know you were married.

2nd time he saw me I was alone(at the time I never recognised him -he was wearing a hat abscuring face & subsequently thought he was a weirdo staring as he came towards me), he leaned in/invaded my space while passing, then did a double-take. He never spoke though I am aware now he'd recongised me & tried to get my attention.

Seems as though he was more comfortable with contact that time, maybe because your husband was not there.  But the fact that you were negative with him will probably put him off doing it again in the future.

3rd time he approached me (didn't know he was there at first). When I innocently looked slowly up the persons body in front of me, he pulled his long coat across him. (Felt negative body language, unless turned on!) I noticed he stood closer to me, than in past when we've talked. When I first looked him in eye his eye brows went up (didn't smile or speak) but saw for second eyes glittered warmly at me.

Opened his eyes wider, because he liked what he saw, that glittering of his eyes is a sign that his emotions are warming up from seeing you. 

I think I gave him an eyebrow flash in return.

Good that's mirroring which would have been a positive signal back to him. 

Also was close enough to noticed he had a sort of angry or turned on look in his eyes, nostrils slightly flared & eyes dilated.

Nostril flare, very rarely seen but it's a sign he's feeling horny and the moment. 

We locked eyes for ages- v intimate eye contact. He didn't seem least bit embarrassed or bothered about looking me in deep in eyes or letting me look back!

A sign that he was comfortable with you falling in love with him and comfortable with him getting to know you more. 

He watched my every reaction. Basically I got so nervous I couldn't speak or break eye contact with him for several moments.

I felt v confused, had same feelings for him tho now married. This is where is gets bit more confusing. When I knew him years ago he was supposed to be married with a daughter, tho I heard rumours from a male friend (that also fancied me then) that he said the guy I secretly fancied was supposed to be gay! I didn't believe him thinking he was jealous & trying to get off with me!

Exactly, you don't trust the competition to give you a good opinion of someone.  If he's gay, how come he flared his nose at you in a horny way.  If anything he may be bi-sexual.

Going back to 3rd time I saw him, he continues to stare & make me so nervous & over-whelmed with these feelings I may have given a negative or disinterested signal -I know I was blushing, got v hot n' bothered & scowled him right in the eye, trying to read if the guy was giving me a come-on or casually asking what I was now doing.

The fact that you got nervous would have made you look even more attractive, though if you sounded nervous he would have probably tried to escape or else calm you down.

Noticed him staring at my breast but quickly looked away.

Ok, so he likes the look of your breasts. 

I tried several times to say something to him but got really tongue-tied. He didn't attempt to speak, maybe thinking I didn't fancy him or he thought I didn't want to speak to him or make fool of himself???

If you were getting tongue tied it would have made him nervous too, but would have also made him think he wouldn't be able to have a conversation with you if you keep jibbering your words. 

At one point he looked away casually (letting me see him do it) staring towards the door in front of him, then looked causally back at me in the eye. I felt he was try to say, if you don't speak soon, I'm going!

Yes, I think you are right there. 

(But he'd approached me first!!!)

Quite a few men like women to guide the conversation and keep the conversation going.  Men are not usually good with conversations, it's not one of their strong points.  Men prefer short, brief conversations, except when talking to someone they fancy, then they often rely on her to keep the conversation going. 

At one point he I saw in his eyes clearly he was letting me know he was aware I was still v attracted to him after all this time & was enjoying it. I looked away afraid I'd made a fool of myself, thinking it was obvious to him how I felt about him not being prepared for his surprise approach to me, & instead remembered how he used to smile/look at me.

When I looked up again moments later, he had walked slowly away but was giving me a v intense side ways look. Then when he noticed I was watching he turned & gave me full eye contact, hesitated in mid-gate at one point (like saying I'm going-last chance!)

Yes, it was his way of saying, do you want to speak to me, if so say something now, otherwise I'm going to feel compelled to walk away.  It always feels funny for a guy if he walks away then turns round and says something and walks back.  It feels much more comfortable to him if he stays where he is and the woman moves up to him. 

as he walked away & didn't turn away from looking at me, until walking out of the door. My gut feeling was telling me he was making some sort of pass, but wasn't 100% sure,

He was saying do something, otherwise I'm just about to walk out that door in your life. 

I didn't feel confident dealing with situation & didn't want to get hurt or look a fool.

You probably looked more of a fool, not doing anything. 

I DID WANT HIM very much & still do. I wanted to talk to him & call him back but something stopped me. Several weeks later I wrote a short note to his work, basically apologing for not speaking & next time would say hello, not wishing to appear bad mannered.

Not likely to get a response really because it was grovelling, over-reading the situation and just making a statement.

I then approached him 1yr later. He turned round when I got his attention & he stood there in mouth open in shock, staring at me. I reminded him who I was, he appearing as tho he didn't want to committ himself he remembered me esp & looked down when I said who I was.

That moment when you walked towards the doorway was him saying, do something now otherwise nothing is going to happen.  Thereafter he knows that you didn't have the courage to make the move then, so you probably would be guided by indecision and inaction in the future.  He wants a woman who is dedicated to him, not a woman that's not sure what to do next or unsure of whether she should make an approach to him or talk to him.  He would have also seen it as a negative sign that you were not really that interested in him.

He seemed nervous at first. ( facing me, rocking from one foot to other towards me).  I apologised, explaining I didn't want to make him nervous & said I would leave. He quickly blurted out 'NO'! & gave me a quick side-ways look. Then I noticed he stopped being nervous. He made the excuse that he gets mixed up/confused bumping into people & he thought I was someone else.

It shows that he saw your signals of not speaking to him or pulling him back from the door as a sign that you weren't that interested in him.  That's why he was cautiuous and as soon as you gave him an indication that you wanted to engage with him and that you actually felt a bit vulnerable and unconfident he suddenly realises that he may have got your actions all wrong. 

I knew he was lying cos we both knew we'd recongised at other the time before when HE approached me.

A guy doesn't really forget a woman he has worked with before, even if her appearance has changed quite a bit, it takes over 10 years of not seeing her before she looks so different he wouldn't recognise her. 

A few times he seemed to keep forgetting himself & stared at me, gave me a knowing/aware look & looked quickly away. His eyes also glistened/watered & stared me right in eye as he told me he gets mixed up bumping into folk-

Again the glistening eye thing, as if he was getting emotional about seeing you again and giving you eye contact. 

thought he was lying or making excuse up -possibly letting me down easy or is he holding feeling back?

He was lying and making up an excuse, he couldn't realistically saying he was avoiding talking to you or was too shy talking to you.  He is trying to hide his true feelings in case you don't feel the same.

I explained about not recongising him because of his hat & he said softly 'that was ok'. From then he took over the conversation between us, asking me lots of questions what I'd been doing.

You see a guy needs that initial hint from a woman that she is friendly and wants to talk to him, then he feels as though he has permission to talk to her, without her giving him the brush off. 

I told him leaving til last to surpise him & gage his reaction, that I was married.

It really isn't right pursuing guys when you are married, you risk splitting your marriage up.  Either you want to be in a marriage or you don't want to be. 

He was still rocking back & forth on his feet,leading with one foot towards me.

Rocking with foot towards you shows that he is attracted, it's usually one displayed by women but can be displayed by a man too. 

But he leaned backward & said 'Oh' & looked surprised & not too happy. He told me what others & himself were doing, then left not long after.

That's his response to the fact that you were married.  He's either thought, she's married don't stand a chance with her, she's married don't want to get into that mess or she's trying to put me off her by telling me she is married.  It depends on the type of guy about which he would think about, but it may be a combination of all of those options.  

At Christmas I saw him in town. I was in my fav togs/looking my best & feeling confident. Don't know if he saw me before I saw him. But I walked passed him avoided acknowleding/looking or talking to him, thinking he may not want to talk & I wanted to keep my pride, judging by last encounter with him. It really hurt to ignore him, hardest thing I've done but thought it was for the best. But I got strange feeling he was looking. Then moments later he walked by again & got impression he was then igoring me!

Probably testing you to see if you looked at him or giving you a taste of your own medicine because you ignored him.

Perhaps this episode is over & he has never felt anything for me & is now showing in his way towards me that he's not interested.

The crucial point about this is when you told him you were married he has not being interested since.  So it's obvious that he had one of the above thoughts when you told him.  A married woman is not an attractive option to anyone looking for a serious relationship, there are just so many negatives.  What if he had split up your relationship with your husband and then your relationship with him had only worked out for a few months.  You would have been without your husband and without a partner.

This man is an enigma & infuriating. Why give me all the signals & encourage me years ago, then approach me & show interest years later (obvious he's not forgot me), if he wasn't really interested or fancies me.

It's pretty damn clear, he was slowly getting to know you to see if you had potential but trying not to look like a stalker.  Then you dropped the bombshell that you are married and really unavailable, what more decision does a guy have in that situation.

I feel as tho there is some sort of awareness between us & there was always alot of respect for each other. I can't figure him out. Maybe he doesn't take me serious & thought it was a crush I had got over?

You are married, what interest would he have in a married woman.  He probably wants someone interested in a long term relationship, not a relationship that could turn messy.

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