Hi sam, there is a supercute guy who works with me. Hes not shy but he also does not seem flirty, just a nice friendly guy. Hes not shown any signs of fancying me but then he doesnt with any girls and hes straight and single so he must fancy someone, right? I think i need to make the first move to show I am into him but I dont know how to flirt! Please give me some ideas?

Usually women that I end up fancying simply start off with an enthusiastic “hello” and a big smile. Then gradually build up the amount of conversation everytime they see me. For example next time say “hello, it’s not very busy here today is it?”. The important thing is not to rush towards a full on conversation. You need to give him anticipation that there is progress, but only slow progress. It’s usually good to laugh at his jokes and smile and seem to have fun around him. Wrapping your hair around your fingers like a girlie is usually something that a guy finds cute.

Ok, I also want to ask you Sam, can men be in love and still not commit to a woman?

If a man is in love, he will commit to a woman! Men do not fall in love very easily. Ladies on this web site often say that their guy has said “I love you” after two weeks of going out with them. He can’t love a woman in that time, unless he knew her very well before he started dating her, he's just confusing what love means or else telling you what you want to hear. Guys fall in love when they decide they want to get married to a woman (just before they propose to get engaged!). Before that time a woman is on trial, he’s still debating whether she is right long term. Once he’s sure she is right long term, that’s when he has fallen in love. A lot of women make the mistake of thinking a guy is hooked on them long before then and start becoming complacent.

Commitment comes when a guy is ready and you’d better believe it when I say that any guy that has fallen in love with a woman will want to reserve her and most will want to get engaged and married to signify that. When guys don’t commit, it’s because they have doubts! They may have had other relationships, that might make him less likely to commit, not because he will never commit to a woman, but because his opinion of marriage means he’s taking longer to fall in love with you. Nevertheless it’s entirely possible for a guy who has had bad experiences to commit, if he finds the right person.

Like if he is too poor or got too many problems or is already married is it not possible for him to be in love with a woman and not necessarily want to settle down with her and have kids?

The answer is generally no to most of what you said there. However if he is married and has kids, then he might feel as though he needs to stick with his kids. The ultimate answer to that is whichever woman he’s more in love with he’ll want to be with. If he’s more in love with his wife, then he’ll stay with her and it’s less than likely he’ll consider leaving his wife. However if he’s more in love with his lover/mistress, then that will demonstrate that there is something wrong with the relationship with his wife and indeed it will mean he’s more likely to consider leaving her for his lover/mistress.

Having kids is something that a guy regularly says he doesn’t want to do. But the truth is if he finds the right woman after a certain amount of time, he will want to have kids with her. I think he just finds the prospect of having kids scarey and because he hasn’t met anyone worthy yet, he thinks he will never want to have kids. The truth is once he’s fallen in love he will most likely want to have kids. So if he’s unsure at any time, then he either hasn’t fallen in love yet so you need to give him more time or else he’s never going to fall in love and is just lingering because he hasn’t got any better options.

As for being poor that depends on the woman. Is she going to be dissapointed if she doesn't get a princesses wedding? Is he going to be embarrassed or lack self confidence if he gives her a poor wedding? Is he likely to think I'd rather save up for a few years and get married then? Or is he likely to think forget about getting married we are together anyway! If she's not bothered about how poor he is or how they get married, then he could easily save up a few hundred pounds to get married in a registry office, by a packet of hula hoops and use them as rings etc. Whether he would do that depends on his personality. Some men would be horrified at the thought of having a poor wedding, whereas other more outgoing men would think, I'm not bothered what other people think. The ulimate thing though is how much he's in love with her, that will decide how likely he is to get married, even if he is poor. I think the majority of guys are at least capable of saving £1 a week until they have enough to pay for a registry office wedding.

I forgot to mention, I have a request/suggestion for your website. I wonder if you could 'bump up' an article, or maybe temporarily highlight it or something similar to show when new information has been added to an article, for example when the questioner replies to your answer or asks another question.

Thank you for your suggestion, I’ve looked into the functionality of my web site and I can’t seem to work out a way of doing that at the moment. So I’ll look into finding a way of doing it.

You can subscribe to RSS Feeds via the buttons on the bottom left of my web site, but I’m not sure whether the programs that people use to view RSS Feeds have the ability to see whether an article has been updated.

I did debate having a login area for my web site which would enable people to login and directly link to the article they posted, but it’s very technical, needs a lot of testing and people might be too shy about registering for my web site.