I recently dated a man for 2 months he was 8 years older than me in his mid 30s and very career driven. We met each other about once a week and he treated me exceptionally well, taking me out to expensive restaurants and offering to cook for me several times around his place. He appeared very keen on me throughout the 2 months that we were together. The moment we first met there was a lot of chemisty between us and when we met up there was non stop conversation and banter between us and he would constantly tell me how much he fancied me, we seemed to get on really well and i could have really fallen for him.

Sounds like a promising relationship so far.  He was really making an effort with you to take you to restaurants dn cook for you.

About a week before we broke up he was telling me how things have become increasingly stressful at work and that it is really crunch time for him at his job and for the next month or so and that he is feeling a lot of pressure. A week later he calls and says he is so stressed at work he really can't focus his mind on a relationship.

It's true that a guy prefers to get his career sorted and stable and settle down in his career before settling down with a woman.  It goes two ways because guys believe women go for men that are settled in their career.  It makes him insecure if his career is not going well or his job is at risk, because that then gets passed into frustrations in his personal life.  He prefers to concentrate on one thing or the other, that's how a guy generally manages to do well, when he is concentrated on one important goal at a time.  Now his career is becoming his main goal, whereas when he started going out with you, a relationship was probably his main goal in life.

As a guy he will convince himself that a woman won't stay with him for long if his career is not going well, so he might as well finish things early on rather than risk the hurt later on in the relationship when he has become more attached to you. 

Now you could say that he was using me for sex but we must of only slept together twice in the whole 2 months we were dating. Whenever we got intimate he seemed to have performance anxiety issues and this got progressivley worse throughout the time we dated. He said that this was stressing him out a lot and adding more pressure on him in addition to his pressures at work.

It sounds to me like this guy is quite insecure in life and needs to get his direction back before getting into a relationship with a woman.  He treated you well, but it seems you haven't injected him with the confidence he needs to continue the relationship and improve his career prospects. 

I think he is most probably trying to let you down gently, he doesn't want to hurt you, so he's using his work pressures as an excuse to say I think we should give up the relationship.  He sounds to me, like the kind of guy who has got used to be single and is quite inexperienced at relationships.  He has tried his best to impress you and make a relationship out of it but he needs a different type of woman.  A woman that can be nice to him, take control of him and kick him up the arse in a nice way.

The fact that he had performance anxiety issues, just confirms how lacking in confidence he is around a woman and having sex with a woman.  He will be most likely thinking, he is useless with women, useless at sex and why should he bother with women, when his life is much more stable without the worry of having to perform in bed and keep her happy.  Men have an immense amount of pressure put on their performance in a relationship and their performance in bed.  These pressures spring from reading magazines, newspapers, watching TV and listening to other women talking about men.  This makes the less confident men, more self conscious.  He's tried to make up for his lack of sexual confidence by being perfect to you out of bed, taking you to expensive restaurants and going to the effort of impressing you with his cooking.

This guy is an ideal type of man with a certain type of woman and I think he's come to the conclusion that you are not the type of woman that has the ability to pick him up and sort his life out. 

Before he finished his phone call to me ending the relationship he did agree to see me for a drink in a months time and mentioned that if things improve this month with his job then maybe...

This maybe just him trying to be nice again, or it maybe the fact that he sort of wants a relationship and so he still wants to hang onto a bit of hope that he might change his mind about you. 

Now some people have said that if he really wanted the relationship to work his job would have not got in the way

A job is important to a man, it's important to his pride, important to his life and is an essential part of him holding onto a relationship.

and it is just a fact that he was just not into to you enough.

I think that's the most likely conclusion I would come to.  He's tried to finish you in a nice sort of way, by not blaming you for it, but the overall fact is you were not his type.

Others have told me that having to deal with the stress of not being able to perform along with the pressures at work led him to have to get rid of one of them ie me.

It's true that if you have stresses in your life, then you need to work out a solution to fix those stresses.  Men do prefer to prioritise their stresses and deal with one at a time.  A stress is a bad thing and if he saw a relationship as a stress, then the best way to get rid of that stress for someone who has been single for a long time, is to finish the relationship and avoid any other relationships.  It's the easy way out for someone who is used to being single.

Do you think there is a chance he might be interested in getting back together at some point in the future?

There's a chance, I'm not really sure it's wise really, it depends on his real reasons for finishing you.  If it's as I think and he was trying to let you down gently, then I doubt it would ever work out even for a second time. 

What is clear, is that you would need to instill confidence in him, sex wise and in other respects by the sound of it.  Maybe that might involving taking control to a certain extent where you feel as though he is holding back from taking control.  It sounds as though he is holding back from taking control in bed, so you should try and take control in that respect, whilst also giving him some self confidence.

That may be a case of when you are enjoying something, say to him, that feels good or give me more, or faster, harder etc..  When you are not enjoying something or he's doing some neutral, you might shout out some tips/instructions about what you want him to do next.
 

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