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How can I seduce a man if we are long distance? PDF Print
Written by Dee   

My question is "How can I seduce a man if we are long distance?"

I recently found a nice article on the Sun web site about long distance relationships: Here is the link: Long distance relationships

And of course I've written a few articles about long distance relationships which you can find by going to my Search page type long distance and select "exact phrase".

Here's the situation:

I met an intriguing man while traveling for the holidays (I'm in Los Angeles, he's in New York). We spent two days together, fooled around but we didn't have sex because I had a boyfriend at the time. He's 6 years older than I am, very intelligent & successful, and just ended a relationship 3 months ago. It's been a month since we've seen each other and so far he's text messaged me a couple of times and I sent him an email a couple of days ago (which he hasn't responded to yet- I just read your post on emails- very helpful). Any suggestions on how I can seduce this gentleman?

To give you that answer I will look at the problems with long distance relationships and hopefully I’ll think of some solutions to those problems.

1) You only have a short amount of time to get to know your man. This leads to two opposite problems, you try to get to know him too quickly, so you push the relationship too far, too fast, including having sex too soon.

Solution:

It’s really important that you don’t push a relationship with a man too far, too fast. Men like to have sex very soon, but they don’t like commitment too soon. They don’t want to feel as though they have to report to you when they want to do anything, and they don’t want to feel as though you have any hold on them whatsoever until the time is right. He doesn’t want you to consider you are his girlfriend too soon, even if you have had sex with him. Believe me after having sex with a woman a man feels as though he has committed and often feels guilty as a result, even if the woman has not indicated she wanted commitment.

They don’t want you constantly contacting them every hour, because they want to get on with their work and their life. So it’s important that you progress the relationship at the speed at which he is comfortable to progress it. This leaves you with a problem because you are only likely to meet this man for short periods of time. This is ideal for a man, because he can rush you into having sex and then escape the relationship by pure distance and then when he fancies some sex he can get in contact with you again. What you need to do is be firm with yourself, if you are meeting men, you have to think, yes I’ll get to know him but I won’t push the relationship too fast and I won’t have sex too soon either. By doing this you are weeding out the guys that are just interested in sex and testing whether a guy wants to stay in contact with you because he likes you as a person and even if you don’t give him sex, he will stay in contact with you if he really values you as a person. Most important of all you are not pushing yourself into the hump and dump category, because you are not pushing the commitment thing too fast with the guy. In reality though if a guy really values you as a person and you gradually build up a relationship, rather than rushing into it, then he will stay in contact with you and try his best to see you again.


2) The other opposite extreme of this is that you don’t get to know them enough, to be able to stay in contact with them.

Solution:

OK if you don’t get into a relationship with him and have sex with him in your brief time together then surely you are not going to know him that well. The reality is, if he looks across the room and sees his princess , gets to know you a bit and likes you, then he will want to stay in contact with you and meet up with you again. Your short time together maybe only a few weeks, but it can give him a mysterious sample of what you are all about, if he wants more of a sample then he can always get in touch with you and meet up another time and another place. There’s no rush, if it doesn’t happen then it wasn’t meant to happen. By taking things slowly you are more likely to find a guy that is really interested in you, rather than a guy who you rush to get to know, only to find you have taken things too far, too fast and put him off.

3) Once you are in a relationship with the other person, you spend most of your time apart. This results in several problems

a) That person changes while they are away, so when they return they could have turned into an entirely different person

Solution:

A person changes whilst they are away, it’s important once you have got into a relationship (when you definitely know it is a serious relationship), that you stay in contact a few times a week and tell each other in detail what’s happening in your life. There is nothing worse than a couple who are apart and don’t know anything about the other persons life, it means when they come back they are complete strangers.

b) That person meets other people along the way, they might get to know your man more than you do, so that leaves a guy open to temptations of other women.

Solution:

Really when you are in a relationship you should learn to trust the other person, inevitably both you and him will have your separate temptations. It’s important that when you are travelling, that you come back and see the other person or travel to meet the other person, so they get there sex and companionship with you on a regular basis and not someone else.

c) communication between you both is much more limited, yes you can communicate on the phone and by e-mail, but that lacks any emotion or body language.

Solution:

Communicating can be difficult because of the distance, so it’s important to communicate in many ways, probably the best form of communication which can give out emotion and body language nowadays is a webcam. Speaking on the phone, by text, msn or email loses it's appeal after a while. It's far better if you agree to speak on webcam, then that person gets a picture of what you look like and the romance starts all over again. Because you can look into each others eyes, show them things (I mean like clothes or other objects, nothing naughty).

The thing about webcams though is once you get sexual with him, he's bound to want to get naughty on webcam, so be prepared for him to suggest it and what you are going to say to get out of not doing it, or even if you are interested in trying it. Remember though sexualised behaviour too soon will most likely result in the failure of your relationship in the long term. Because you'll stop seeing each other as people to talk to and see each other more as sexual objects for you to play with.

Where you are at the moment....

Of course you are not as far as that step yet. Your next priority is to engage him in some interesting emails. Yes, you need to follow what I have said in my article. But also you need to build up your chat by email gradually and make it interesting. First of all asking him how he is getting on at the moment. Then let him know briefly how you are getting on. Say some things to remind him of the good time you had together, and yes keep it to a few paragraphs. From there you can keep updating each other about your daily life (you don't need to glamorise it too much, just be normal, if he was interested in reading about celebrities he would read Hello magazine, so you don't need to glamorise yourself). You need to get to know each other, yes you've spent some time together, but you need to keep updated and get to know more about each other. From their gradually build up the naughtiness in your emails, like you would in real life with flirting, maybe making a few references by using provactive language, then gradually build up to more and more naughtiness. It's best to build it up from two points of view, being cautious that he is happy with some naughtiness (most guys are), and so you don't go all the way too soon and then have nothing further to progress to.

 

 
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