Me and my fiancee have been together for 2 and a half years, we have a child together, but sometimes I feel like he would much rather be elsewhere than with me.

Our relationship has had ups and downs but nothing major when its down just a normal argument,

Having arguments is just a normal part of a relationship.  What's important is that you either resolve those arguments or just agree to disagree and then move on.

its just that i used to be quite slim and pretty and since having the baby I feel he is no longer interested in me as i have gained weight throughout and after the pregnancy.

That's your perceived thought, it's not necessarily what he thinks.  Part of being attractive to a man is actually being confident as well.  There are many women out there that have a bit of puppy fat on them that are confident and have no problem attracting men, there are women that are slightly overweight out there that are confident and have no problem with men.  Then there are women that are just overweight and really these women do need to lose weight for their long term health.  The difference comes if you take away that confidence, if a woman stops walking around proud and confident, and looks and sounds miserable then she becomes unattractive. 

It sounds to me like you may have gained a bit of weight and have lost your confidence as a result, like many women do, they are so obsessed with weight that they let it dent their self confidence.  The solutions to that problem are to either lose weight.  Or to just think, I'm a bit overweight, I need to concentrate on not putting anymore weight on, but really that's just the way I am, I am going to accept it and be confident about what I look like and just enjoy my life.  Add confidence to your personality and be happy and you will attract the men to you again.

You need to ask yourself how much of this is your perception that he is no longer interested in you and how much is fact, has he actually told you that he is not interested in you or given you any verbal indication that he is bored.  Has he stopped having sex with you.

I try not to seem jealous when we go out but its so hard when he is constantly looking at other women but saying he doesnt realise he's doing it.

There's two ways in which men look at women.  There are the concious ways, which they usually do when they are out with their mates or out on the pull.  There that are the unconcious ways, where they are thinking about something else or maybe walking to a shop thinking about what they are going to buy and their eyes divert to someone pretty walking past.  Sometimes they will then snap out of their daydream and become conciously aware they are staring at a woman, other times they will just continue on to the shop and there eyes will divert to other women they pass on the way. 

The fact is I might pass you in the street and either conciously or unconciously look at you.  It means absolutely nothing to either of us because I don't go out with or have sex with every woman I set eyes on when I walk down the street.  In fact I have never ever gone out with a random woman I have set eyes on walking down the street, nor do I know any friends that have done so.  Because really people need to get to know each other before they take things further.  So really do you need to worry about him looking at women.  Just because he's married to you, doesn't mean he doesn't find other women attractive and I'm sure you find other men attractive too.  What is more important is if you were to have evidence that he was having an affair.  It doesn't sound to me like you have any evidence of that.  Therefore this looking at women should be like a non issue to you. 

I know loads of men who have been happily married for over 20 years, they have eyed up other women virtually every day in that 20 years. I'm not aware of any of them that have actually had an affair, and usually as a mate I would be the first person to find out.  Why?  Because there wife is someone they know and trust and they have children and don't want their children to grow up without a father.

Also when other women start to chat him up he plays along with it which often leaves me in tears and feeling like I cant trust him to go out on his own if thats how he acts when we're out together.

That is a bit more concerning, but really, flirting is fun, it's difficult for any woman or man to give that up even when they are married.  Flirting for fun is not really something I recommend because it is basically a tease if you can't actually follow through on it, but nevertheless it is fun and it does happen.  Again you have got to stick to the facts, is he actually being unfaithful, do you have any evidence, if not then surely you want him to have fun while he is in the relationship with you.

He has plenty of girl mates that I know i can trust but a couple I know I cannot One time she even kissed him in front of everyone and he didnt say a word but kissed her back!

Now that is something that you should stand for, that's not just getting intimate with someone, but humiliating you at the same time.  That behaviour is a lot more concerning, because it's taking the fun a bit too far. 

In the morning I told him about it and all he said was that he was drunk but didnt remember it anyway and that he was sorry.

To me it feels as though he doesnt want to be with me and is only sticking in the relationship because of our child.

That is a very good reason to stick to a relationship, but really you need to stop being paranoid and base your feeling on facts.  There are too many women out there getting paranoid about what could be happening, when really they are taking away their self confidence and being paranoid for nothing. 

What should I do because we are just about to buy our own property and I need to deal with these issues if I'm to be able to trust him again.

First of all I don't recommend buying a property at the moment, nothing to do with your relationship, I just think you are better off renting, until the house prices have gone down.  But getting back to your real issue, if this guy is willing to buy a house with you, then really that requires some dedication to your relationship.  Buying a house is a very big step, it requires a big financial committment and you will own half of this house.  It's not something that a guy takes lightly because it's a big part of cementing his future.  If he has any plans to go off with other women at this point, he will avoid buying a house.  Though at the moment he will also avoiding buying a house, if he has good financial knowledge as well and knows the state of the property market.

I think you need to forget about these other women and focus on yourself.  You are the most important thing in this situation.  You can't affect these other women that are fleeting past him all the time, but you can have an affect on your life.  What I mean is that you need to dress to impress, you need get your hair done, make yourself feel good, be confident, get sexy (if you aren't already), do some fitness stuff and maybe lose some weight, if that's necessary (I'm not sure whether you really are overweight or you are just one of those women that are over-stating their weight).  Because if this guy has a confident, happy wife, that he is happy talking to and happy being with, then you don't need to worry about these other women.  If he doesn't have that then he might well consider his options.  Can you see how I'm pointing out that you can change yourself but you can't rule a whole world full of women.  Just forget about these other women because if he's happy with you, he will stay with you, and you need to concentrate on making him happy being with you.

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