i have this very peculiar problem..you can't say that its regarding a relationship..because there has'nt been a relationship as such..

okay i start..

i met this guy (jim), through family , about 6 years back.. he was in the same university campus as mine..we were in different courses and so we hardly used to see eachother..

this guy ..

jim was cute and before i met him , i had never got into a relationship as such..

he used to call me once in a while and i honestly would like to talk to him..though i used to be quite short tempered  and blunt and we both had a very big ego..because of which our conversation would start well but end up with an argument , which would stop us from contacting eachother for months together..

That's not really a good basis for a long term relationship.  Arguments to a certain extent are always going to happen, but constant arguments can result in an abusive relationship where neither person has time to settle into a proper relationship, which inevitably either results in a break up of the relationship or a breakdown in your health. 

i liked this guy..but the only thing that held me back from him was that he is 2 years younger to me..it may seem foolish to you but it is kind of a taboo in our society..

Well I think many societies frown at older woman, younger men.  But really 2 years is not that significant. 

so i thought it would be best to keep myself away from this guy and plus because of our arguments and his stupid comments i used to be put off many times..

Jim never said anything all that while and i would'nt say that i did'nt know..but yes i would get this feeling  that this guy likes me..but i think our misunderstandings were bigger than that..

he never expressed in words and i was never sure..

time passed by and i got into my first relationship in college..Jim knew i about it because i told him..and i always used to tell him that he is a very good friend of mine..

then Jim and i just stopped communicating in the middle and then i broke up with my previous boy friend and got into another relation..my relationship with this new guy was quite fulfilling and i never seemed to miss anyone ..i felt that he was the one for me..i never missed jim too..yeah i don't deny that i used to think about him..but the main reason for that used to be that i felt that i could'nt return his love..and i felt that he had truly loved me..

in the meantime..jim went out of country for further studies and we lost touch..

in between i tried to regain touch through emails but he always ignored me saying that i remind him of not many good things..

So that sums up his long term thoughts about you.  He's hardly likely to want a relationship based on those thoughts.

it used to hurt me but i could'nt help it..

then after 2 years of not being n touch i got in touch with him again (after i broke up with my second boy friend) and i told him that i would like to get into a relationship with him ..he agreed but was slightly scared for committment..the reason being the same - the age factor and that parents would'nt mutually agree..it was a long distance reation anyways..

He was just jumping at the relationship without thinking, because he didn't have any better offers.  In his mind, "you reminded him of not many good things".  So he was basically just getting into a relationship, just for the sake of having a relationship with someone. 

i decided to move to the same country where he is , but that did'nt work out and we lost in touch again..

Again, it just proves that your relationship, really isn't destined to work.  For you to make the sacrifice of moving countries and for it not to work out, just demonstrates that things were not right between you.

after that he used to write once in a while or call sometimes..

with not much reciprocation from my side..

Then about 6 months back i completely got off from my second boyfriend and was single..

Then during a casual discussion about jim with on of my friends , she somehow convinced me that jim was the one for me and how could i have let him go so easily..

then i realised that i really wanted to be with jim..i called him up that very moment and told hima bout my feelings..he was really very surprised and happy..

You really are getting a bit daft, your friend is a bit daft too.  How can you possibly just decide that.  Jim has summed up in the past what he thought of you, that was his first impressions and that's what will stick in his mind for a lot of years.

but somehow after these 1.5yrs of being out of touch - i felt a change in him...

he would'nt want m to calll him..if i would , he would'nt answer my calls..saying thatsooo many calls and messages he doesnt like it all..and feels that i am going a little overboard..

You were smoothering him, you turned from someone that wasn't that interested into a stalker, even though it was an indecisive stalker at first.  Again he's not really that interested in you, it didn't work out the other times, so in his mind, it's hardly likely to ever work out.  He doesn't want a woman that is high maintenance and unattractive to him, in his life.  High maintenance means calling him and messaging him all the time.

infact my effort was to cover up for all the time we had lost due to circumstances but he somehow does'nt want me to..

He won't, you can't just split up, then a few years later, go from not being into a relationship, to being in a relationship and virtually smoothering him and being overkeen.  It's like desperation.

he seems to be pushing me away..but if we talk he would say things like "i have always loved you " and etc..

He's confused, he may think he loved you, but really it was a different sort of love.  It was a sisterly or friendly love.  He missed you, he didn't love you, a lot of guys struggle with those differences, he thinks if he misses you, he must love you.  Again I go back to the point he made "you don't remind him of good times".

i don't know what to do now??

Move on, you can't keep clutching at straws.  The first chance was enough for you both to realise, you weren't meant for each other.  Now you are just getting together on the basis that you haven't found anyone better, so the easiest way to find someone is to look for someone from your past.  It doesn't work, it was never meant to work and won't ever work. 

don't know how to get him back to me??

Really, you don't want to be bothering, you are going to be wasting precious time in your life trying to get with someone that really is not a good match for you.  He sort of realises that when he has his thinking head on, it's time you started to realise that.

don't know how would i get the same Jim back..with the same emotions and concern he used to have for me?

You can't, time has passed, he's had time to think about what's happened in the past and he can't possibly have the same emotions about you.  In fact I doubt he ever had significant enough emotions about you, he just pretended to or thought he did.

i know i have kept us away for a longtime..but now i want to make up for it..though he does'nt want me to..

Exactly, so you need to forget about him and move on.  I don't know whether you've got this mental block in your head, guy doesn't like you anymore, he will be a challenge, got to try and get back with him, he's much more attractive, now he's a challenge.  Really, pull yourself together and move on.

he hardly responds to my offliners and my mails..he just writes - one liners..

Because he's not the slightest bit interested in you anymore.  Before you were clutching at straws, now you are clutching at hay dust.

he tells me that he can't marry as he has his job but wants me to come and live with him ..but he does'nt understand that i am studying right now and that i can't just leave my course and go there to live with him..

He says that, but really he doesn't want that.  If he wanted you enough, he would make sacrifices.  I don't even know why he's saying all this, maybe he's confusing himself and thinking he does want you one minute, then he has time to think about it, and realises the sensible thing, that you are not destined to work. 

i am getting impatient..i don't know what to do..how to get him back..

You don't need to be impatient, you need to find someone else.  Otherwise you are going to waste the rest of your life clutching at hay dust.

he has become to unreachable for me..so distant..he does'nt want to share anything with me..

He's trying to tell you something, but can't actually say it in words, so he's saying it in actions instead! 

if i ask him something , he says that questions piss him off and he can't give me time anymore and manyyyyy more such things which hurt a lot..

There's no point in him answering questions or you asking those questions.  He's not interested in you and you shouldn't be interested in him, it hasn't worked out in the past and is hardly likely to work out, even if you try another dozen times. 

you think that i did the wrong thing but telling him that i love him??

It doesn't matter whether you told him you loved him or not, your relationship is never going to work out, it never has and never will do.  It really is time to move on. 

he did'nt even  bother to wish me on my birthday,

Yep, that's kind of predicatable, he doesn't want to give you the wrong idea, does he?  He doesn't want to encourage you to contact him again.  He wants to avoid you as much as possible.

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