| We both agreed we still have feelings but we don't work as a couple |
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| Written by layla..lalala | |
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Hey Sam, I'm a bit puzzled and wonder if you could give your opinion on a situation from a male point of view. I bumped into an ex a while back, after that we kept in touch and started hanging out as mates. It was all great but then stupidly a couple of times we slept together, no strings. After a couple of times he started on about feelings. We both agreed we still have feelings but we don't work as a couple. We really don't work!! He suggested that we only be friends, no more sleeping with each other and that would be easier, I said that was cool and I wanted to be friends. It was weird cos I felt like I couldn't meet anyone new cos I was w him or thinking bout him and I said I needed some space and I'd call him after I'd cleared my head. He texted and then called me before I did and I just can't handle it. Its like I like being friends with him but it makes it hard for me to move on with my life. I can completely understand that, that's the same feeling I get when trying to be friends with long term ex-girlfriends (maybe not short term ex-girlfriends). Any fool can see how I feel about him and I think that holds me back from finding a new relationship, but I don't want to go back to him because it was a dramatic relationship. I can understand that, it’s very rare that people can have a relationship with each other and then become friends. It very rarely works, because before long one or the other gets with another person and that causes friction or else someone wants to get back together and the other one doesn’t feel the same. In most cases it’s far better to avoid each other.
I didn't tell him this but I texted him and said I was finding it difficult to be close friends with him, I'd like to keep in touch but just not close. Sometimes we would text everyday, meet every sat nite, cinema, dvds on the sofa, how many people do that with their ex's when they still fancy each other and hav feelings? I was starting to think that if he got a new gf it would all stop and then I would be hurt.
You are correct! When he did get a girlfriend it would all stop eventually. Maybe not immediately, but as the relationship progressed that girlfriend won’t want him spending time with other women and will want to take up more and more of his time.
He didn't reply my text and I haven't heard from him since. Thats ok, and I don't know what I would hav expected him to say anyway but it is kinda weird... from a female point of view. Thank you!
He’s carried out your command and took your wishes on board. He’s not contacted you because you indicated you didn’t want to be in contact. That is actually the best option otherwise it will open up wounds and feelings. |
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