Hey, im really lost...and i dont know who else to ask. I am in a relationship with a guy for more than a year. We both are serious about each other and we know that we will get married in the future and will have family. He has been married before, and his ex was an overcontrol freak with whom he had many fights...i am different from her, i am a very easy going person and i love him deeply and he knows it. I come to his appartment to sleep over every weekend, and sometimes during the week,  and sometimes he comes to me...i think its been enough for us to move in, i want it really bad...i really want to move in with him. But why isnt he asking me this? What hints can i give him so that he understands that i really want it..... We get along with each other great, i wanna wake up every morning and see him lying beside me... Please advice me something... I also have a problem that i cant ask him first, its like in my mind that his a guy and he should ask.

There could be many reasons why he isn’t asking.  He’s not ready yet or he thinks you are not ready yet.  I would guess it’s because he is not ready yet.  As things are going perfectly well as they are, you kind of think, is there any point in changing things!

The most important thing to point out is that you should always mention things at a time when a guy is not busy doing something.  Try telling a guy something when he’s busy fixing something and you’ll probably get your head bitten off.  Try telling a guy when he’s just got in from a hard days work and again you’ll get your head bitten off.  So timing is very important.  He needs to be in a relaxed mood with time to talk.  I suspect he’s not ready to do this because he hasn’t brought it up himself.  At the moment he’s probably enjoying his independence.  I have to say the ideal time for having discussions on moving in is when a guy proposes to you and you become engaged.  Before, then you can never quite be sure how attached a guy is to you.  If you get engaged then you can be pretty sure he is very attached to you.

It’s a very big decision to decide whether to move in together.  It means a guy would have to give up any chance of his independence and also have to negotiate merging personal space, merging tasks around the house and all the potential pressures of moving in.  He’s also unlikely to give up one house or the other, if he feels it may not work out, because ultimately the guy is usually the one that is forced out and made homeless if the relationship breaks up.  A guy that isn’t hooked on a woman, would find it very scarey if a woman raised the issue of moving in together.  It would be a sign that you have gone out of sync with him and are much more into him than he is into you.  Guys want women that are in sync with them and mirror them in their interest.  They don’t want a woman that is less interested in them or a woman that is too interested in them.

I reckon you need to be patient and wait for him to make the decision to ask you.  Ideally this will come when you get engaged.  Then a guy will see it as logical that you move in together.  You can hint, but it’s best to do it indirectly, such as mention that your friend has just moved in together with her boyfriend because they wanted to save some money.  That sort of thing.  Then you instigate a man’s competitive streak, another guy has done the manly thing of moving in with his girlfriend, so your guy will want to compete and do the manly thing too.