This is a sexual question.. I don't know if you will think its an odd question coming for a girl but... does size matter to a guy?? 

Yes, it definitely does.  For several reasons.  One reason is that men are very competitive and like to be better than other men.  Another reason is magazines, you know magazines put pressure on women to be thin and attractive.  Well the magazines put pressure on men to have six packs, muscular bodies and big body parts.  Then of course there are women who also put pressure on a guy to go to the gym, have a six pack and muscular body and that big body part that you talk about.

For example:  my first boyfriend was quite well-endowed, we were together for ages and i was used to his size, the sex was great.  Now we've broke up and i recently started a sexual relationship with a guy who is a lot less well-endowed.  well it has made a difference for me.. i don't really feel him inside me the way i did with my previous boyfriend.  But i can live with it..

Yes, the thing is it's very rare that you would find a bloke that's absolutely perfect, that you can tick all the boxes.  One bloke you might have immense fun with and your personalities really do match, but he has a small one.  Another bloke may have a big one, provide you with brilliant sex but you can't tolerate his personality and he bores you to death.  The truth is you need to stick with a guy that you are comfortable living with, the best option you can find, no guy is really going to be perfect in all categories.

Rather curiously my last girlfriend said that her ex had a big one and she didn't enjoy sex with him because it was painful, then she followed up with you are quite big as well (what she meant by that, I don't know).  So I think maybe some women do not like big guys. 

what worries me more is that maybe HE doesn't feel much when he's inside me. 

The truth is that when guys have sex with a woman in this way, they usually only get one orgasm and that's when they come.  It can be good sometimes but really this is the same old sex that guys have all the time, so it can become boring.

He seems to always want a blow-job and sometimes i wonder if thats because he finds it more satisfying than having sex with me!! 

A blow job is just so much more satisfying to a man than most other sex acts.  There are many things about it that are just so good.  There are all the different textures and different feelings and you don't know what you are going to feel next.  A woman uses her tongue, lips, mouth, fingers and hands, all of which provide these different feelings and textures.  It's also a very intimate act to a man, because a woman is dedicated enough to the relationship to be able to put her mouth on this part of his body.  The feeling lasts much longer and there is much more scope for him to have many more orgasms. 

When he's having normal sex, he has to concentrate on you and make sure you are enjoying it, concentrate on controlling his muscles and pushing himself in and out, concentrating on what position to go into next and he only really gets a slight buzz for a few seconds occasionally when he touches you inside.  All this requires sensory overload and in general satisfying himself is just one of many things his body and brain is concentrating on. 

In contrast a blow job, he can just relax his muscles, lay back and enjoy himself while you pamper him and it really is a good mental feeling as well that a woman actually decides to take the initiative and take control of him and give him some pleasure without him having to worry about all those other things.

i don't want to ask him about this but please tell me what you think.

I'm not sure whether he doesn't feel anything when he is inside you, but I can tell you that most if not all men prefer blow jobs to normal sex, because men get much more of a concentrated and longer lasting buzz from it.  Yes, it maybe that your guy gets even less out of sex with you because of his size and so prefers a blow job more often than other guys.  But to be honest most guys would much rather have a blow job every sex session than having to spend the whole sex session looking after the woman's sexual needs. 

Reply by sexylee 04.11.07

You recently answered a question of mine regarding my fella who enjoys blow jobs so much.. thanks for your reply but it left me feeling absolutely gutted and more confused than ever about men!!  If as you say all/most men would rather have a blow job EVERY SEX SESSION than full sex, then why do they bother having sex with us at all? 

I'm probably going to go into too much detail here, but these are things that a guy would never say, indeed many guys don't think this deeply about what they are doing! 

I can see what you mean by that, I unintentionally overstated my point just to emphasize what I was saying.  I do believe that men prefer blow jobs to normal sex but that doesn't mean they don't like normal sex, that is good too.  In general, variety is very important with sex and sometimes that variety involves a woman taking charge occasionally as well.  Men do like normal sex and they do have an urge to have normal sex as well as an urge to satisfy a woman. 

You can compare a blokes anatomy to a champagne bottle.  After not having sex for so many days or so many weeks, the pressure builds up in his champagne bottle, loosen the top on that champagne bottle and give it a shake and there is a pressure that builds up that makes it want to explode.  Having sex with women when he is at that stage is very pleasurable to him, and provides a slightly different pleasure to him than orgasm and is actually a better option than having a blow job at that particular point.  But once he loses that pressure and has had normal sex with you the blow job is the best thing to provide him with the most orgasms, long lasting orgasms and better orgasms and generally to fulfill him in the best way possible.

So what I'm saying is normal sex (well I'm calling it normal sex just for descriptive reasons in this article), serves a lot more different reasons. Firstly he does it to satisfy the woman and most men do have a very strong urge to satisfy women, they just don't always achieve it because different women have different likes and needs. Secondly, it provides some mental bonding to a man, that a woman has actually allowed him inside of her, it's a good feeling, though that good feeling doesn't provide him with an orgasm, it's just a positive feeling.  Thirdly there is a primal urge for a man to have children, though in modern times that is only important when he's in a long term relationship or married to you.  Fourthly which I thought I'd mentioned above but I missed it out, is he does get brief feint orgasms when he touches you inside, it's just that they are only brief because he has to thrust himself in and out of you.

Overall I think once he gets over that initial pressure stage I talk about above, the ultimate thing that most guys go for is trying to satisfy their women, that is about pride and making sure he is popular with the woman he is with at the moment and making sure he has that confidence with any women he might be with in the future, particularly a woman he wants to settle down with.

Sex is far more complex than I can ever describe in this article because it's also about having fun, variety, feeling valued as a person, exploring new things, making women want you and later in a relationship it's about starting a family and the magic that he can produce a baby version of you and him. 

I guess what I'm saying about all this, is I over stated to you what blow jobs were to men to emphasize the fact that men get far more orgasms and long lasting orgasms from blow jobs.  What I didn't mean to say is that men hate normal sex and they just want blow jobs.

I guess I was trying to say it in this sentence: "most guys would much rather have a blow job every sex session than having to spend the whole sex session looking after the woman's sexual needs".   Notice how I say the "whole" sex session, in other words I mean he spends some of the session satisfying your needs, but equally you should dedicate some of the sex session to satisfying his needs and if that means giving him a blow job, then that is satisfying his needs.

The way you describe it, they may as well stick to masturbating until a good blow-job comes along because it sounds like sex with a woman is not very enjoyable for a man - all that hard work for little reward.  And there i was thinking men loved sex!

Men do love sex and blow jobs is probably one of a man's favourites.  But that doesn't mean he just wants a blow job and nothing else, the blow job has to be part of the sex session, not the whole of the sex session. 

I now also wonder why my ex-boyfriend pressured me to lose my virginity to him even though I willing gave him regular blow-jobs! 

That was about the need to progress your relationship to a more intimate level and about the urge to have sex with you, he hadn't been able to have sex with you yet, so the thought of it seemed exciting and different, add to that the fact he may not of taken a woman's virginity before and it adds even more intrigue and allows him to gain that experience.  It also means once he gets past that level, he can explore sex with you even more and do a lot more variety of things than just a blow job.  I mentioned some of those needs above including the need to mentally feel close to the person, the pride at a woman actually wanting him inside of her, but a guy never ever admits those reasons to anyone else.

Well my question now is, should i withold blow-jobs in the future if i want my boyfriend to appreciate full sex with me? 

If you find he is just demanding blow jobs all the time and not satisfying you, then what he is doing is getting his sexual pleasure and not providing you with any.  If he does this then saying to him you have got to give me some decent sex first before I'll give you a blow job, should add some spice and incentive to satisfy your needs.  But if he is satisfying your needs already then you should reward him with a blow job. 

This supports my point that men enjoy blow jobs a lot, if he is just demanding blow jobs from you all the time and doesn't seem that motivated to have sex.  But saying that I also don't know a man that just wants to have a sex session that only involves a blow job everytime and no normal sex.  I can understand a blow job being PART of every sex session but not the ONLY PART of a sex session.  It stops being fun and stops being about exploring sex in different positions and stops being about working out how to satisfy a woman.

Just had a random thought though if you feel as though you are not getting anything from giving him a blow job, maybe you can take the initiative and when giving him the blowjob get into a 69 position.  You probably know what that means but in case other people reading this don't know, that means whilst giving him a blow job crouch your body over his face, so that he can give you oral sex at the same time as you are giving him the blow job.  Hopefully he'll take the hint!

Or should i forget about sex altogether and just give him a blow-job everytime to ensure he doesn't die of boredom in the bedroom?

A relationship is about two people, both people should reward each other, both people should give an equal amount to a relationship.  That means he should satisfy you with sex and you should satisy him with sex.  No, you shouldn't give him a blow job everytime, you should only give him a blow job if he has satisfied you or plans to satisfy you in that sex session.

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