| Going out for 6 months but no intimate contact for 2 months |
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| Written by HighSpirts2433 | |
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I've been with my boyfriend for just about 6 months now. At the beginning, he was very affectionate with me. But lately, it feels like he just isn't attracted to me anymore. He doesn't want to touch me, he doesn't respond when i kiss him. He and i haven't had any intimate physical contact for the past 2 months. By initimate contact I presume you mean sex. If you haven't had sex for 2 months and you're in a relationship, I find that pretty odd. My initial thoughts is he has got bored of having sex with you, he has lost his sex drive, he is stressed about something (work, your relationship could be anything), he has lost his self confidence, or he feels so nervous about having sex with you that he can't (as you have too high expectations for him sexually). You can probably rule out a few of those possibilities just by knowing him. But on the other hand, he has been making serious life changes for me. I'm moving to the other side of the country and he is uprooting his entire life and moving with me, against the wishes of his friends and family. It was his idea and his decision to do so. About a month ago, we had a huge fight and he had the perfect opportunity to break up with me - but he didn't.
That is a sign of a guy that certainly doesn't want to lose his woman. If he wanted out of a relationship this would be the perfect opportunity or excuse. So I think you can rule out the fact that he doesn't love you anymore. I confronted him about everything and he said that he agrees with me - for some reason, even though he still finds me attractive, he does not feel the urge to get intimate with me.
It seems very odd getting to this stage after just 6 months. I've never heard of a guy that has ever not wanted to get initimate at all, within a few years of starting to date a woman. If you said you were 60+ then I may understand a bit, but I don't think you are going to tell me you are over 60. However, he said that he still wants to move away with me, still wants to be in a relationship with me, still wants to spend all his time with me.
It sounds more like a guy that has a low sex drive but a high need for someone to love and be with him. The only other option I can see at this point is maybe he is gay, but still wants the female companionship or is not sure whether he is gay, but I think the low sex drive thing is the most likely cause. Nevertheless he should be catering for your needs too, and if you want to get intimate then he should at least make an effort. Relationships go through stages and I find a good site that explains the relationship stages is the Non Verbal body language dictionary . Here it states in stage 5: "After physically bonding in love, there is less need to renegotiate the closeness achieved in previous courting phases. Loving couples thus emit fewer love signals. Since they take the distance between them comfortably for granted, they give off fewer "come-hither" cues". But in your case it's a bit beyond this, it's almost like you've been married for years, tried everything sexually and the relationship has settled down into companionship. I wouldn't expect anyone to stop having sex for several months until at least 5 years of a relationship. But I'm starting to feel very insecure about all of this. He said he feels like getting it on with other girls sometimes, but lately not with me. This is even stranger because he is stating that his sex drive is there, but I fancies doing it with other women.
I don't think it's a fear of commitment, he is demonstrating enough commitment to you, by stating he is willing to move away from family and friends just to be with you. To me there is some other reason why he is not wanting to have sex with you. Neither of us can figure out what it is. If he isn't attracted to me anymore, why does he want to go away with me? Why has he changed his entire life for me? It's almost like he has pushed the relationship ahead 40 years in the space of 6 months. To a point where he is not interested in sex but is completely motivated for companionship. I dont get it. Do you? I honestly don't get it either. If you do find out the reason or have anything more to go on, then please let me know. But I have never heard anything like this before in such a short period of time. He is demonstrating commitment to you but not wanting to have sex with you after just 6 months? It just seems like a relationship of 40 years, where sex gives way for just companionship. Baffling!
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