I've been working with this guy who is the biggest womaniser I have EVER met.  Gorgeous.  After a short time at work there he managed to get me into bed and a few more times after that.  Then he moved on.  Obviously being a womaniser I was expecting this and I was cool with it. 

Now we are really good mates and we go out all the time, he rings and texts me constantly.  I know there are at least 2 girls he has got on the go but he never ever makes a move on me anymore.  Why doesn't he try it on anymore?  He knows I fancy him still as said he could tell the other day. 

I'm trying to work out if he ever fancied me and only made a move on me cos a couple of the other guys at work were interested. 

He would have never fancied you, if he'd fancied you then he would have continued to go out with you and would have continued to have sex with you on a regular basis.  That's the problem with the guy like this, he has no shortage of women, so why bother having a relationship.  A relationship involves all the negative things that this type of guy can't be bothered with, like keeping a woman happy 24/7, taking her out on dates, when all he really wants to do is have sex with her.  All he is interested in is sex and he has no shortage of women to provide him with what he wants.  So really why should he bother sticking with any one of those women. 

The women around him seem to be encouraging him to take that approach and until the women around him put a stop to it he will struggle to settle down with any one woman.  Yes, he might have been encouraged by the other guys being interested in you, but I think he would have got round to you anyway, just to try you out and add an extra woman to his list.

The fact that you are really good mates is more likely to make him feel guilty about using you for sex.  But don't be surprised in the future if he doesn't come back to you, when he is going through a rough patch, where he's not getting any elsewhere.

It's like a big rejection every time I see him. I'm annoyingly one of the few women he respects but I rather he tried it on as was the best sex i've ever had!  Do you think he ever fancied me and if so what has changed?

He never fancied you, he fancied having sex with you.  If you know a woman fancies you and you fancy her, would you really finish with her and start having sex with other women?  I don't think so.  At the moment he is not at the stage in his life whether he's bothered about being in a relationship with a woman.  In fact even if he does settle down in the future I doubt he will remain faithful.  The guy has what he wants now and will expect to continue getting what he wants in the future.  In my opinion that makes him less likely to be faithful to any woman, even if he does feel the need to settle down in the future.

Reply by cooper 03.12.07

Thanks so much for your advice.  Bang on I reckon.  How annoying!  Exactly what I needed to hear though as he's really getting under my skin and the last thing I need is to have a crush on a bloke like that. 

If I think of it as he never fancied me and it was just 'my turn' it's so much better than wondering what I did to put him off.  Not every bloke I fancy is going to fancy me back.

If I was never his type he could never have gone off me which is the bit I was struggling with.  Perfect you're a star :-)

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