In june my friend introduced me to this guy and he came to my apartment one day keeep in mind that we stay in the same apartment complex but in different buildings. He told me that he was married and been seperated 3 months because his wife is on crack. I was really feeling for this guy because he was everything that i wanted. He had a job,own place, two cars, great personality, and he would always go straight home after work. He came by my place a couple of times and i went to his. At the time i had a sex partner and since me and the guy i like was not on that level i continued to have sex with my sex partner. Well the guy that i like has a friend that stays downstairs below me and he told him about me and the sex partner. Then the guy i liked started to back away but he was also having sex with his wife so i don't see the big deal.

Guys can understand that women have had previous sex partners.  What guys don't want to do is imagine those sex partners having sex with you,  what happened here is the guy's friend told him about your sex partner, and now everytime he sees you he probably imagines you having sex with this other guy.  Guys don't like to think that another guy has been in with you before him, it makes him feel slightly apprehensive about having sex with you.  So although a guy usually knows you have previous sex partners, but he doesn't really want to be reminded or imagine it happening. 

The other element to it, is she is taken, if he wants to get you, he will have to fight this other guy for you.  If he doesn't know you that well then he is not going to risk fighting this other guy.  Moreover you might love this other guy and by him fighting him for you, he might not have a chance with you anyway, so is it really worth him fighting over you. 

So his friend served three things, he warned his friend there was another guy on the scene, a potential threat to his safety if he makes a move. Secondly if he asks you out there is a greater chance you will reject him because you already have a guy. Thirdly he may have turned his mind off you sexually because he imagined this guy and you in bed (which is not a pleasant thought for any man, their woman in bed with another guy).  If could be just one of those things, like the second option, where he thought he doesn't stand a chance with you, so he will back off.  But I reckon it's probably a mixture of all three of them.  

 
Well after that i decided to have a relationship with my sex partner and it turned out to be more then i could handle. he was sleeping with his baby momma and would live with me 2 months and then leave me to stay with the baby momma 2 months.

Not sure what "baby momma" means, that must be an American phrase?

 
It just got old and i cut off all connections with the sex partner. Now i want another chance to get to the guy that i liked. I don't know much about him but i know what he is going through. I to had a husband that was addicted to drugs. I had to lose everything before i woke up and smelled the coffee that he was not good for me and his daughter and had to let him go. It's hard. I want to go the this guy that i like aparment but i am to scared and shy. for one my sex partner stopped him one day and told him that he and i were just friends and that we were not having sex. That really embarrased me because he had no right telling the guy that I like this information.

Sounds like your sex partner was looking for a way out of your relationship anyway, sounds as though you definitely made the right decision to get rid of him.

He said it was for good intentions but i know that it wasn't. my sex partner won't let me go and he said he wish i were dead so i couldn't be with no one else, but i still have cut all connections to him loose.

Your ex-partner wanted his sex but didn't want the relationship bit!

I want to go the other guy apartment and talk to him get to know him and go slow as friends, because i know he needs a friend right now.

It's tough because of what I said above, that is why he's avoiding you now.  Nevertheless a guy can recover from imagining ex-partners, but it usually takes months.  One of the key things to remember is avoid mentioning your ex-partner when you see this guy.  The more you avoid talking about him, the quicker he will get rid of his thoughts of you and your ex-partner having sex. 

If he mentions your ex-partner then fair enough, he does need to discuss it, to make sure you have finished with him, but try and keep your answers brief but honest.  Don't go into a massive conversation about why you have finished with your ex-partner because remember you need to minimise his thoughts about your ex-partner and just get the subject out of the way.  I don't mean avoid answering any questions he asks, I just mean try and keep your answers to the questions brief, so the conversation about your ex-partner is as short as possible.

Word is he thinks that i am good looking and nice and his sister wants him to have a friend so he can move on. What should i do. How should i approach him and talk about when i go to his apartment.

I think you need to work your way in slowly.  You might see him walking down the street and walking through the apartments, just give him a friend smile and say Hi.  Then the next time you see him, smile, say Hi and how are you?  Then maybe approach the opportunity of visiting his flat.  He needs to work you back into his life gradually and just turning up at his apartment, might be a bit of a shock to him.

i know i have a lot of explaining to do but so does he.

No, you don't have a lot of explaining to do.  You have to start afresh and concentrate on starting things up again, not go on about your ex-partner, why you split, whether you were having sex with them.  These topics just complicate matters.  The crucial point here is you want to get to know this guy and that's what you should concentrate on.  Not immediately go up to him, start dealing excuses and start talking about negative things that may have happened in the past few months.

It is now december and its been a while since i talked to him no more then us waving at one another.

I suggest that waving, progresses to smiling, saying "Hi, how are you".  Gradually work your way back into having a conversation with him.

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