I have two questions for you.

1. General speaking, how long is too long to make a man wait for sex in the beginning of a dating situation?

One hour! Only joking (though probably true)!

I would say don't have sex for at least the first few dates (so third date onwards, the longer you leave it the more sure you can be).  After that you need to judge in your own mind how the dates have gone.  If he is contacting you regularly between dates and you both seem to have a good rapport with each other on the date then you can usually make a good judgement.  The key is how much effort he is making in between dates.  Does he contact you regularly or does he pretty much blank you out until he's ready for the next date?

I have said in the past wait at least a month for you to be completely sure.  But I do think in this day and age some genuine guys will become impatient with you after this long.  The truth is though he should be willing to be patient, if a guy likes you and not just the sex, then he should be prepared to wait that 1 month.  So I would say make him wait that one month to be completely sure.

Ask me what is the latest time and I would say a guy that really likes you should be prepared to wait up to 6 months, because ultimately he should be interested in you and not just the sex.  But both you and him might be a bit gagging for it by then, so I think 2 months is a suitable time to say, "I really want him to give me one now". 

As time goes on, he should want to see you on a more regular basis and if he starts seeing you on a regular basis without sex, then you can start to think, he has seen me several times this week, we haven't had sex yet, we have a good rapport.  If he's making an effort to see me despite the fact we haven't had sex then he can be classed as pretty genuine.

2.  How many dates should a man take you out on before you can assume he's definitely more interested in you as a person versus you as a just a sex object?

I always say there are few types of women a guy goes for, actually I think I missed a third one when I wrote about this last:

1) Casual Sex woman: She's good looking, has a great pair of boobs and a great body and he wants to have casual sex with her.  He will have sex with her a few times or as long as he can string her along and have casual sex before she gives him the boot or before he finds someone else.

2) Long term relationship woman: She's good looking, has at least an average body and he has great rapport with her (rapport means your personalities are suited and you get on well together).  He wants to have sex with you but also values your company.

3) Casual Sex woman when he's desperate:  OK he's desperate for sex, she doesn't have a great body and he doesn't really fancy a long term relationship with her, but she has showed some interest in him.  He wants the sex and nothing else is available to him, so he thinks might as well have sex with her.  These women tend to be a one-off, she caught him when he was a bit desperate for sex. 

Obviously if a woman wants a long term relationship then she needs to fall into the second category.  The key thing about this category is that he gets on well with you and has a good rapport and you have AT LEAST an average looking body, if not good looking body.  So if you have a rapport with him then there's a better chance he's not going to use you for sex. 

He might look good on the arms of the pretty babe with the great body in category one.  But can he spend the rest of his life with someone he doesn't have a rapport with and who attracts the attention of every guy around.  I don't think so, eventually she is going to realise they don't get on well and it's not meant to last.

So the most important thing you need to ask yourself with your relationship with a guy is, do we have a rapport with each other.  Do you enjoy his company and does he enjoy your company?  That's the real way of working out whether it's about sex or just some casual sex.  Of course you may have a great rapport and he still just wants sex.  But at least with your great rapport together there's a chance to convince him, that you have great sex and a great rapport, both of which are great for a long term relationship.

I also written an article a few years ago, I will copy an extract from it and paste it below. 

So how do you find the faithful men that are NOT JUST interested in sex. Well you make friends with as many men as possible. Just keep them as friends until you know for certain. Gradually over time they will leak whether they are just interested in sex or whether they want a long term relationship. Believe me there are men out there that want long term relationships, but they won't openly admit it. Usually the older a man gets the more maturer he gets and the more likely he will be looking for a long term relationship.

You can also pick out from their friends what type of bloke a man is. Usually a friend will say something like “Steven hasn’t had any sex for years, poor guy” Jokingly. You can immediately derive from this sentence that the guy saying it thinks he can get sex whenever he wants and Steven has not had any sex for a while. So to you, Steven should immediately show potential. The chance is if he has gone years without sex, waiting another few months while he is going out with you is not going to make much difference to him. If it does make a difference having to wait for sex then he obviously doesn’t value your relationship, so get rid of him!

My advice is that you never have sex with a guy for the first few dates. This is how you weed out the guys that are interested in you and the guys that are just interested in sex. Make him wait at least a month!

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