I'm completely confused, I met this guy a few weeks ago in an Irish Pub. He is a member of a band and is much older than me, 27 years to be exact. Although the age difference, we seemed to hit it off from the word go. We had loads in common and he kept going on about this 'vibe' he was getting off me and being all flustered, and soooo charming as most Irish men are!!!!

Sounds to me like he trying to make you feel special and charm you with some warm words. 

There was a lot of 'accidental' touching going on and we were keen to talk to each other.

He probably wanted to get even more touchy. 

He gave me his number and vise versa but over the weeks we met up only at the pub or once by accident in town where we couldn't stop hugging eachother :-) One night I went out with him after a gig and before leaving I kissed him on the lips, he seemed to like it-but I also said "that's all your getting tonight though" with a cheeky smile and walked off.

Not a good idea.  It's pretty irritating when women play this sort of game.  Like they are being hard to get but hinting they might be up for some at a later date.  You've put the idea into his head, so why tease him about it.  It gives him too much time to think about having sex with you and sex needs to be instictive.  He may also read this as you saying he's acted like a sex crazed idiot and a kiss is all he's getting, he's not getting any sex.  Then he will be thinking what incentive have I got for meeting up with her at a later date.  Yes, I might like her as a person, but she has just destroyed the incentive of sex.

It also demonstrates a certain amount of arrogance from you.  Like I can kiss a man, then say you are not getting sex this time and get away with dangling you on a string and doing whatever I want.  Not an attractive thought for a man, he just knows he's going to have to put up with some game playing if he wants to be with you. 

You may have also made him feel like you thought he was using you for sex, by hinting that you thought he was after sex.  There are a lot of options that could go through a guys mind when you say these sort of things.  Even if he is using you for sex, most guys don't particularly want you to put the idea into his mind. 

It's simply a case of a guy that has good intentions about your relationship, doesn't want to be teased about sex.  A kiss is enough to make him think about sex and contemplate it, and not going home with him is enough to make him realise you are not ready for sex tonight.  Then he can go home and dream of having sex with you but not have to try and interpret what you mean by "that's all your getting tonight though".

Since then he has been weird, I've texted him being really obvious and recieved no replies.

It was probably that phrase.  No man wants to hear from a woman, that he's not getting sex tonight, he might not have expected it, but still he doesn't really want to hear it either.  It demonstrates that you are maybe looking for committment from him too and maybe falling for him because you have kissed him and indicated in not so many words that you want to take things slowly.  This is a classic sign of a woman that wants things to be serious, whilst in the future he might want things to be serious, he certainly won't want it putting in his head after a few meetings.

Last time I spoke he said something was 'going on' and he couldn't stick around and he looked genuinly worried. I said to him if he wanted to let me know what was 'going on' he knew how to get in touch.

There could be a genuine reason, or he could just be trying to avoid you now. 

I don't know whether he is lying to get rid of me or whether he genuinly is in trouble. Either way if he was that mad about me he would contact me right?

Yes, he would.  You have now put the ball in his court to contact you.

Or do men stop themselves from doing what they want?!?!

Men do persuade themselves, she is not right for me or she's going to be too difficult and end up hurting me.   So sometimes men do stop themselves because of various excuses in their heads.

It's really knocked my confidence and as all women probably would at this stage I'm wondering whether it's because my bums too big or something stupid like that......can you help me?

I think the most likely reason is because you turned him off.  It could have been that comment you made or it could have been something else you did or said.  I think if he was alright with you up until that comment, then it was either the kiss and/or what you said after the kiss that put him off.  It certainly won't have been your body,  your body gets assessed on the first date.  If your body doesn't pass on the first date, then there usually is no second date, unless he wants to use you for sex.  Beyond that it's a case of getting to know what you are about, so bums don't come into it at this point.  I don't see why it should knock your confidence, you maybe made a mistake with this guy by playing games, you can learn from it and not do it with other guys.  Everybody has to learn from their mistakes.

I know very little about him but he seemed like a nice guy......

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