i am single and i wanted to ask a guys opinion on this matter. i am bisexual (but prefer men) do guys find this a turn off? i want to be completly honest with my future boyfriend. i have never had any relations with other women. i know it depends on the individual but i would like your honest opinion.

I probably go a bit too personally into what I would be thinking here, because bi-sexuals is not something that comes up regularly with my male friends and I am not particularly an expert on the subject myself.  So basically I will go a bit deep into my thoughts about the idea.

There are lots of things that run through my mind when it comes to bi-sexual women.  One is of curiousity because I have never had any women I know admit to me that she is bi-sexual, not even female friends, which is quite weird because I have met a large range of different people in my life time.  So yes, it's a novelty thinking about a woman as a bi-sexual and I think initially to go out with a girlfriend who is bi-sexual would seem a bit strange but nevertheless it's something different to try.

One thing I would expect from a bi-sexual woman at first though, is for her to be discreet about it around my family and friends.  That would be the biggest worry as a man, that my family and friends would not be quite comfortable about it.  Then if our relationship lasted for longer than a year or two, I would be happy for my family and friends to find out.  Because at that point I would know that the relationship was destined to last and if any family or friends had a problem, I would think it's worth the long term humiliation because I love her.  Whereas if they found out too soon and she ended up leaving me I would feel humiliated because my family and friends would probably thinking, has she left you for another woman or another man.  Or did the relationship not work because she was bi-sexual.

Just to get another idea that men have out of the way quickly because this comment is so common amongst men it now sounds boring: "All women are lesbians, they just use men because they want babies".  I doubt it's true, I'm sure women do like men (I hope so anyway!), but the concept of this idea is because women never seem to be able to keep their hands off each other. 

Following on from that, would a guy be comfortable if you were flirting or even snogging another woman in his presence.  It's bad enough keeping other men away from chatting up your woman, but to keep other women away as well would probably prove a nightmare.  So there would be a lot of trust involved between you and your partner. 

Now down to the sexual part.  Most men, in fact probably all straight men, fantasize about lesbians having sex.  I think it's a case of many men might never get to see it happen in real life which makes it all that more enticing.  There's a chance that if your bi-sexual that he would love to watch or join in with you and another female.  And a lot of men would find that one of the most beneficial parts of having a bi-sexual partner because it makes sex a hell of lot more exciting and adds a lot more variety to sex.  This is the big selling point for bi-sexuals, any man would love a sex life like this.  But wait a moment you might not want to share your female partners with your male partner or your female partners might not want to involve your partner, so that could become an issue. 

Jealousy and mis-trust is got to be the biggest thing that can break up your relationship.  Your guy has got to be strong enough to understand that at some point in your life you might want to to have female partners as well as him, he has got to be able to cope with the fact that you may want to spend some time with her.  That is probably the biggest issue you will experience, the trust issue.  It's a big issue for normal relationships, but for bi-sexual relationships trust and jealousy is double because he has got both males and females to be jealous of. 

It's very debatable when to tell your guy, as I say this is not my expert subject.  Obviously you have to tell him sometime because your having a relationship with him and a relationship is based on trust and honesty.  It's better for him to find out from you, rather than find you making out on the sofa with your female friend or hear from someone else. 

I think it's a matter of judging the man about when to tell him.  Some men will be able to cope with it from the first date, namely the more manly type of guys.  The more sensitive guys that come from a religious background you may want to wait a while and tell them gently.  In the end if a guy isn't happy with it, then he is not right for you, so it's better for you to find out sooner than when you have fallen in love with him.

I would advise you don't tell him on the first date though, you don't want to shock him too much, and you want him to get to know you as a person and not build up some stereotype of a bi-sexual or fantasies of two women having sex.