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Ali-England on 26/04/2006
Does the age gap effect us? I was down my
local pub last night and started chatting to a very handsome man. he was
kind, sweet and charming. We ended up exchanging numbers and arranged to
meet possibly one day next week. I told all this to my girlfriends, who
straight away thinks maybe the age could lead to issues....
Im 20, he is 39years old! Although he
looks in his early 30's! He was married for 20years, and has a 20year
son.
Yes, that is shocking, maybe you should
ask to meet his son. Only joking, it isn't really that shocking
because people have different tastes when it comes to men or women.
I was shocked with this news... but
everyone has a past? right?
Quite a few women, tend to go for older
men. But not that many go for men that are 19 years older than
them. I think 10 years is the usual limit for most women. Of
course just because he is older doesn't mean he is any less of a
person. Indeed he has probably learnt a lot from life. I
really don't think you can base whether a guy is good enough for you
based on his age. You are obviously attracted to him and he
actually looks younger than he is.
The thing you have got to remember is
later on in life, when you are 45 he will be drawing his pension.
He maybe starting to get a bit less mobile because he will be in his
60's. But just because you have twenty years between you doesn't
mean you can't have fun and doesn't mean you won't get on well. You
are always going to get loads of people looking at you oddly and making
comments about your age difference, but if you can get used to that,
that's not going to be a problem.
Depending on what has happened with his
marriage I don't think being married for 20 years and having a 20 year
old son can be counted as a bad past, nowadays. Though if you find
out the reason for the breakup of his marriage was because he was having
an affair or because he used to beat the hell out of his wife, then that
is a bad past.
Shall i give it ago? See how much we have
in common, may as well go on a date with him as i have nothing to loose!
Yes, exactly that, you don't know unless
you give him a try. It maybe that the age difference will make him
wiser and more eager to treat you well. After all, he will probably
be desperate to hold onto a girlfriend that is almost twenty years
younger than him. It maybe that you learn a lesson that older men
are not for you, it maybe that you learn a lesson that older men are
better for you. Either way, there is nothing wrong with giving
different men a try.
problem number 2, im an only child, and
live with my father. My dad is 46, only 6 years older than this guy.
True, your dad may not be too pleased you
are going out with a guy only a few years younger than him. Plus a
guy who has been married and has a 20 year old son. But there comes
a time when you should do what you want to do. You should of course
be careful not to get pregnant with this guy until you have been together
for a long time. And you should of course try not to fall out with
your dad, because if things go wrong, you want your father to be their
for you. You know your father more than you know this man! If
your father gives you advice take it onboard, don't just dismiss it,
because he will care for you. But needless to say I doubt your dad
would be too happy with him or many of the guys you will ever go out
with.
although this man is probably going to
treat me alot better than guys my own age!
Yes as I was saying above, this guy is
older and wiser and hopefully he will treasure somebody as young as
you. The thing that might give you a problem is this guy has been
married and he may have the conclusion in his head, that he never wants
to be married again or never wants a serious relationship again, women
are absolute trouble. If I was his age though and I had the
opportunity to catch a lady 19 years younger, I would be wanting to treat
her extremely well and keep her. Men like younger women and it is
an old man's dream to be with one 19 years younger. It's true that
many guys your own age will treat you badly, most are just looking for
sex and not interested in serious relationships at your age.
My conclusion, there are benefits and
disadvantages to going out with guys your own age and guys older than
you. Unless you try something out, you are never going to know what
is the right option for you. You learn from your experiences, but
if you don't make the effort to experience things you will live a boring
life. What you do need to do though, is make a confident decision,
if you get the feeling that something is not right with this relationship
then you should trust your gut instincts.
Posted by Youngerwoman on 19.09.06
Just wanted to let you know I liked your
suggestions to the 19yo girl who fancies a 39yo bloke. I married a man 17
years older and we were married 12 years.
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