I got to know this guy six months ago at the mall bacause we both work their and we became friends. But from that friendship we got to like each others personality and we started having a relationship. Something that i would consider a relationship because we were having sex.
If you were just having sex, then I wouldn't consider it a relationship, if you were having sex and going out and socialising together, that is a relationship.
Everything was going well until oneday i told him that i love him and he was surprised but he didn't answer so i left it to that.
Most men absolutely hate the word "love". And some will only use the word "love" in order to satisfy a womans needs. It's an emotional word and most men find it difficult to express their emotions (after all we're meant to be big tough guys and we get labelled weak and unattractive if we are emotional guys). The word love scares the hell out of us, we don't know what to say in reply and in general we find it very difficult to say the words and sound genuine (even when we are genuine).
What women should never do is bring up the love issue in the first few months of a relationship. It's impossible for a guy to fall in love with a woman in the first few months of a relationship. The very mention of those words can scare a bloke off, he will think "stop, slow down here, I'm not ready for a long term relationship, I'm not ready to say I love you yet, just wait a few more months, don't get pushy with me".
In your case though, you have been seeing him for 6 months and having sex with him for probably just as long, so I think you have a right to know from him whether he loves you. I think 6 months is a satisfactory time for a bloke to decide whether he loves a woman or not, or whether he just wants to carry on using her for sex and a bit of fun.
I did the same thing few times and still he never said nothing back untill i asked about it and he answered saying that he shouldn't have to tell me i should know that and its ridiculous.
Yes, he is simply demonstrating that he can't say the words and you are seriously scaring the hell out of him, with your questioning.
But still after this while having sex he told me he loved me.
In my opinion, people should not have sex until they love each other. Then when sex finally happens it becomes a much more passionate event and not some short term sexual fling. Unfortunately, it doesn't happen that way because people feel as though they need to get sex into their relationship as soon as possible to hold it together. And with men, it is generally they need to get sex into the relationship to stop them getting bored (usually taking a woman for dinner or on a date is just plain boring to a bloke, what they want to get down to is the sex). But that certainly doesn't make a long term relationship.
So i left it to that. After this evrything was going fine untill one day when i called him he started spilling ervything on his mind.
Yes, you've made him feel seriously guilty and he can't say he loves you, so it's more than likely he doesn't love you. As a result of this, he has had a think about it and usually men are seriously confused at this point. They start debating, can I stay with this woman, am I using her for sex (because sometimes men don't know or are not sure). Then the emotional bit comes out all in one go, because he starts to think, women like emotional stuff, so I'll throw all my emotional stuff at her at once and she will like me being honest about it. Or other times he will just throw the emotional stuff out at once to sabotage the relationship and scare you off, whilst making him look like the victim of confusion (trying to soften the blow to his reputation).
That he appreciated everything i done for him but he's not looking for a reltionship but a wife, since he got a kid. He wanted someone to be into his kid as well that is what he said in the beginning when we were friends so i did that i made sure it wasn't all about him.
He is now trying to find a way out of your relationship without looking like a complete idiot and without making you seriously angry and most of all without hurting your feelings. Although men never say so, they hate hurting a woman's feelings.
Now i just don't know what he wants.
He certainly doesn't want you long term, so I think you should move on.
It just seems that all he wants from me is the sex.
Yes, I would say that is probably true, judging by what you have described above.
How do i know if he really wants me?
From what you have said, I really don't think he wants you. After 6 months, he can't tell you he loves you. He is trying to back out of the relationship with excuses about his kid and marriage. There really is nothing you can do to make this into a long term relationship. His interest in you was just not that convincing to ever produce a long term relationship.
I fell in love with him i couldn't help it.
Yes, I know women can't help it, men just seem to have a knack of using women for sex for a long time and convincing women that there is a long term relationship at the end of it. Rather confusingly women tend to go for the men that are like this and find the men that are interested in long term relationship as unattractive and uninteresting (women have a habit or picking out and falling in love with the bad boys).
