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Golden Girl on 18/04/2006
I fancy a guy in my gym, he is lovely! I
go quite regularly as does he! Recently we have started smiling at each
other and the other day I saw him outside the gym and we smiled.
So is that all you have done, smile at
each other. You have never spoken with each other? Yet you
believe you fancy him.
Whats the next move?
I think the next move is to get to know
him before you make any judgements about fancying him. It sounds as
though you have not had the opportunity to get to know him yet, without
getting to know him you won't know whether you really do fancy him. Nor
will he or you have had an opportunity to ask each other out..
I have been brought up to believe the man
should make the first move and I am scared if I do I'll get
rejected...??!!
That thought of "it's a man's job to
ask a woman out" dates back centuries when there were certain
old-fashioned rules about asking each other out. When you could
only go out with somebody of your own class and where asking out was the
man's job. Sexual equality for women in the last century changed
all that, now women can do what they want, the problem for men, is women
have took the options of doing the things that they like and left men
with the jobs they don't like doing "like it is still a man's job to
ask a woman out".
The point is,
that women are too scared and will always make the excuse that is the
man's job, because women just don't have the guts to do it. Do you
think a man is not scared that he will get rejected,
do you think a man finds it easy to ask a woman out? He certainly does
get scared and finds it difficult.
So it is about time women start developing
some guts and stop the excuses. So are you and lots of other women
still living in the last century? If you are, then you are going to
miss going out with a lot of men in your lifetime. Yes, you are
going to get rejected occasionally, but you are less likely to get
rejected as much as men do.
That is not to say, that you should now go
out and be the one to ask men out. But you should certainly take
the opportunities when they arise. You should always pick an
opportunity when you know enough about the man, and when an ideal point
comes into a conversation. If you concentrate enough you will
instinctively go for it in that point of conversation. For example
you or him might bring into the conversation
that you fancy going to see something at the cinema. Ideal
opportunity to say that you fancy going to see that same thing, without
making it too obvious you fancy him. So you don't really need to
ask him out directly.
And in your current situation with this
guy, I think your nowhere near the point of being able to ask each other
out, if all you have done is smile at each other.
Click
here to Ask Sam some questions
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