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LadyBex on 03/10/2006
I am so confused I don't know where
to start.
Last July I got together with a guy
called Jonny. Things were awesome until one day he went really odd, told
me he was depressed and couldn't have a relationship anymore.
It's not normal for a guy to get
depressed if he is with the woman of his dreams.
This broke my heart pretty much but
I got over it and a few weeks back I went to a gig in the a few miles
away where I hung out with a guy called Wayne who lives in my local area.
We got on really well. Loads in common and we always had fun. We went on
a couple of dates but it was nothing serious.
Well, Wayne went really quiet for a
bit and I figured he had lost interest and then I got a call from Jonny
saying he missed my company and wanted to see me. We ended up having such
a great time and well I *went back to his.*
So, he got fed up of not having
any sex, so decided to try his chances again.
We agreed to have a casual, open
relationship. Then Wayne called and said his phone had been broken and
asked to do something on the Sunday.
Sounds like they are both playing
games with you. I'm sure he could have found another phone to
contact you on, even a phone box.
I declined because of band practice
but ended up going out on the Friday where I bumped into him. We had a
dance and a cuddle and a really nice time until an exboyfriend Ryan
turned up. He was drunk and told Wayne I cheated on him while we were in
a serious relationship which wasn't true. Wayne spazzed out and wouldn't
have a thing to do with me after that so I stormed home angry and ended
up not going to band because I was in hospital so I ended up with Jonny
and we had a nice evening in watching DVD's.
You've got two guys vying for your
attention, but neither sound worth it.
So the problem I have here is
essentially this. My friends think Jonny is bad for me because of what he
did to me so I haven't told any of them about me and him.
They are most likely correct, in
their judgements. You don't go getting depressed, when your with a woman you fancy, especially not in the
early stages. That just
demonstrates that he wasn't too bothered about losing you and indeed
wanted rid of you. Only he changed his mind when he worked out that
he was missing the sex and your company. It sounds as though he
doesn't want to treat your relationship seriously.
I love Jonny but they don't know
that and the reason I saw Wayne was because I thought he was a decent guy
and we got on and juding on Jonny's past behaviour I didn't see why I
needed to restrict myself to one guy who won't commit.
Yes, I agree, why should you
commit, if he has no intention of committing.
But now I lost Wayne's friendship.
Ryan apologised to me and Wayne and I forgave him because I never hold
grudges. I miss Wayne though because we really got on.
Why did Wayne not listen to me when
I swore to him that Ryan was a scorned ex and he was lying?
Men absolutely hate meeting up
with a woman's ex, especially early on in the relationship. Most men prefer to avoid
confrontation (though there are exceptions that like to go looking for
trouble). To him meeting up with your ex is a confrontational
event. Men also tend to believe other men, because most of the time
men find it impossible to lie and so tell the truth most of the time
particularly to other men. They tend not to believe women because
they tend to be devious and tell lies a lot, but never actually admit it.
Could Jonny be angling for a free
ride or can depression make you push people away?
In my opinion, you don't
experience depression in the early stages of a relationship with
someone. If I'm going out with someone I really like, I am absolutely loving it. The only chance of me
says I was depressed, is if I wanted an easy way out of the relationship
or if I didn't fancy the lady that much.
I'm so confused over this situation
because I have feelings for both guys. Stronger ones for Jonny who is
more unreliable and weaker ones for Wayne but he is a stable guy who
thinks I am a hussy.
From what you have said, I think
neither are a decent option. Sorry that is just my conclusion.
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