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Meg33 on 09/08/2005
I am very confused about a situation with a guy I know. I do an
exercise class that he runs at the gym and it has been all smiles and
very quick conversation at the end of class etc for months. Then he
offered to treat me for a back problem as he is a physiotherapist and
regularly treats people from the gym at his house. During the few times I
went he told me how great he was in bed, that he didnt have a girlfriend,
tickled me, made me put my hand on his hip to feel the joint and was kind
of flirty but with me being so nervous around him as I had always fancied
him I didnt respond. Since treatment he has continued to be nice and
responded to a couple of texts I have sent to him but briefly.
Since last week though he has been a lot cooler all of a sudden
and just as I am getting the confidence up to be more flirty back etc he
seems to have been a bit cool with me. Dont know if I have been reading
everything wrongly as I am very bad at interpreting signals.
Sam's Response
First of all, there is no
need to be nervous around men. You may think a man is in control and men
might think they are in control too. In reality it is the woman who is in
control. Women are more fussier in their choice of men and ultimately
that makes them more in control as well as the ability to dictate at
which point you want sex.
Is he really a physiotherapist or has he used that as an excuse to get
his hands on you? Have you seen his qualifications (his physiotherapist
certificates I mean)?
This guy obvious fancies you in some way. You don't invite a lady back to
your house for free physiotherapy for nothing.
Be very cautious here though. Does he want a relationship with you or
does he want raw sex? Does he invite other women back for the same treatment?
If he has a queue of women coming back to his place, then he is more than
likely to use you for sex, as well as all the other women.
If you are not bothered about being used for sex then go for it.
Typically all men use women for sex, men want sex that's a fact. The
difference is that some men use women purely for sex, others use women
for sex but actually want a relationship as well (they are the ones to go
for).
The fact that he tickled you, put your hand on his hip and told you he
doesn't have a girlfriend is just conclusive he fancies you in some way.
The fact that he tells you how good he is in bed, is conclusive that he
wants to have sex with you as soon as possible. That is why I said be
cautious, unless of course you fancy a few months of wild sex too,
without any relationship at the end of it.
So he has turned cold, there could be more than one reason for this:
1) He thought your nervousness meant you did not fancy him. Unlikely, if
he boasts about how good he is at sex, his ego probably won't stretch to
believing that you don't fancy him.
2) He was not getting any sex out of you, so time to move on.
3) He is going cold because that is what works on women. Women suddenly
start wondering whether he really fancies them, and that ultimately makes
the woman finally show the willing. He goes cold, a woman thinks she is
losing her chance with him, he is ultimately giving her an ultimatum,
"make your interest known or I'll move onto the next woman".
I think the 3rd option is the most likely in this case. This guy will
have loads of women coming back to his place and will be very experienced
at playing women. He can afford to go cold on at least one, because the
others are queuing up. By going cold on a woman he is more than likely to
trap his prey, which is you in this case. Apparently it works most of the
time, if the woman is really interested in the man.
Click
here to Ask Sam some questions
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