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PJ on 20/03/2006
I really like a guy at my local gym. He
is always very smiley and always says hello etc but we havent got much
further than that. I sent him a valentines card this year and put my name
in - I think he knows it is from me!
My question is, do men like being approached
and asked out by a woman?
Sam's Reply
I would say it depends on how long he had
known you, the situation and whether he fancies you and whether he has a
girlfriend already.
First of all, to ask him out you would
have to know him for while. If you randomly just go up to him and
ask him out after not knowing him you will probably shock the hell out of
him, and he won't know what to say. You also need to decipher
whether there is a good chance that he fancies you and the only way of
doing that is getting to know him.
Second of all, there is the
situation. The situation is, don't ask him out in front of anyone
else. Ask him out in front of other people and he won't know what
to say and the other people around him will be a distraction.
If he has a girlfriend already, then it
is best not to think about asking him out at all. If he is happy
with that girlfriend then he is not going to give you a positive
answer, if he has got a girlfriend but also wants to go out with
you, then he is a two timer and two timers are not worth it, if he has a
girlfriend and you know he really does want to get out of that
relationship, then you could give him a go.
In general though, I think men are very
proud if they get asked out by a woman. You may get a problem with him
being gobsmacked and not able to say anything, but don't let this make
you feel uneasy, you probably just hasn't been asked out by a woman
before, it doesn't mean he doesn't fancy you. Believe me, if a
woman asked me out, I would be gobsmacked, very few women have the guts,
they usually make up silly excuses, like it's a man's job.
As for valentines day and valentines
cards, I always think of valentine's day as a day for women. Yes it
is a chance for men to ask women out, but in general we don't particularly
enjoy the massive fuss caused on valentines day. It is just another
day and we could easily ask someone out on another day of the year.
Let's face it, women expect lots from us on a valentines day, what
can men expect from women, most will whinge that their friends got
something better.
Very few men, think of women as
desperate, but when it comes to valentines day, women appear extremely
desperate. They are desperate to have a date and desperate to
receive the best present from their loved one. Most men just find
the whole thing a bit of big fuss about nothing.
So as for valentines cards, it will be
50-50 whether he liked the fact you sent him a valentines card, but if he
fancies you he should be chuffed that you showed an interest in him.
Some men will actively
avoid asking a woman out before or during valentines day. It makes
things much more difficult for him. Women expect much more on
valentines day, a present, a card, a good meal. So why risk
disappointing her, when you can wait and ask her out in a few
weeks. It is not so much a man being tight, it is more a man not
wanting to live up to the massive hype around valentines day. Let's
face it, it is difficult to book a restaurant and difficult to order
flowers because of demand, he won't want to risk blowing it with you by
asking you out on valentines day.
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