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RedHead on 16/01/2006
just writing a second time to clarify an
info i think u might have read wrong and also add to what i wrote b4.
Hope u dont mind!
He never called me a nasty nickname,
rather he used to have a cute nickname 4 me and called me
that everytime he saw me at uni, but one time i sent him a text and
decided to call him a name..like i formed a nickname 4 him?(it was
actually a gangsta name?) he he!,,,and after that text he stopped
calling me the nickname he used in the past , rather he went back to
using my normal name so i wondered if he was scared i was gonna start
calling him the name in the text and thot it wud be safe to stop calling
me my nickname!..but i miss it and dont knw! how to tell him.
I also have a few questions for
you.
1) we had the christmas break and it was for three weeks
but he never got in touch with me? tho i heard he had a shoulder
accident(frm the internet)-i tell u hes that popular! . i guess he must have been fine after a week
but he wasnt in touch but then i wasnt in touch with him too.so y do u
reckon a guy wud be interetsed and not call or text in 3 weeks?
He may have been busy with his family,
daughter (I read below before typing this). He may have thought he
would appear desperate if he texts you. He may have thought that
you did not text him so he didn’t want to appear like he was stalking
you. He may not have known what to say. The possibilities are
endless. Just because someone doesn’t text you, doesn’t mean they
are not interested.
2) I also have two girls i hang out with at
uni, and i stopped hanging out with them as they never want to study or
go to the library so i hang out with them like once a week and have the
rest of the time to myself. Now this girls are my closest friends in
class next to this dude i fancy and they reckon hes my boyfriend already!
If many people are seeing you as a
couple, then they have obviously picked up on the fact that you are both
attracted to each other.
and i am lying to them nothings going on.
and so wen i hang out with him-Fred (censored, not his real name), they
feel am dumping them for him and wen i hang out with them, they start
asking " have u guys fallen out?" and it gets me angry ..
They are jealous, playing games and trying to wind you
up. I have been jealous when some of my friends totally disowned me
because they started going out with a woman. Of course I get over
it eventually. I also wind them up about it, “she has got you
wrapped around her finger”. But in fact I am happy for them, they
are happy and have found a long term girlfriend, it’s up to them whether
they want to dedicate more time to their girlfriend. Of course you
should not completely dump your friends because they may be needed if the
relationship fails to work out.
and Sam guess what?...wen i hang out with
them and i have a chance to talk to him, tho he doesnt say it outright
frm wat he says he sounds like he wud prefer if i was with him..
It’s only natural that he would want your exclusive
attention, whether you are a very good friend or a girlfriend.
cos note this he doesnt really hang out
with anyone at uni constantly except me..i mean he talks to the rest
of the class and wen am with my other friends hes mostly by himself on
his phone or with the guys or one of the women will be chattin to
him.
well , theres also this pretty girl that
chats to him everytime she can and i rememeber one time she was
trying to strike up a conversation with him and he turned to me included
me in by asking me a question and right after that we continued talking
and the girl ! was kinda out of the converstaion and everytime u see him
talking to her, its her who asks him all the questions and he talks to
her and laughs but he never hangs out with her at uni .
About my friends , do u think i
shud suggest to Ted that my friends tease me about him -as in the two
girls at uni-?and c wat he says
If you get the chance, then yes, try it
cos am scared of asking him out cos i
never asked a guy out .
Well there has to be a first time for everything, so don’t
keep making the excuse that “I am too scared of asking him out cos I
never asked a guy out”. Do you think guys are not scared
either? A guy is much more likely to be declined than a
woman. Cause women are fussier than men.
and i think am pretty enough for him to
ask me out.
So he “is not pretty enough for you to ask him out”. These
are just typical excuses that you get from a woman. Like the one
where women say “it’s a man’s job to ask a woman out”. In other
words your mind is making excuses to avoid having to do such a difficult
task.
One day randomly in class he asked me if
i like to drink- and get drunk and i said no and he asked wat kinda
drinks i like and added "pls not cider!" he made me laugh , i
told him and he laughed and i asked him in turn wat he liked and he told
me and i told him i only got drunk once and i told him wen as it was
recently and i went str8 to bed and he told me the last time he was drunk
was 7 years ago...i think he was joking but can u ! beat that?! he
he!
I hope u dont get angry at me as am
pouring my heart out here ,,,am just thinking i can write stuff to
convince you so i dont get to ask him out. My parents live in another
town and i had to go for my dads birthday and he was travelling there to
train- hes a professional sportsman -and he drove me and we talked loads
on the way and back and i told him about my flatmates and how i got on
with just one and he asked me wat she was like and i said "shes
nice, doesnt drink alcohol and a good laugh" and he kinda said it
was interesting she didnt drink and like a month later my flatmate came to
see me at uni and Ted came up to me and said- "thats the girl u told
me about right?" am like yeah..he remembered , i introduced
them and my friend obsereved he kept trying to talk to me and do
stuff to get my attention.
Yes, this is still conclusive evidence that he fancies you,
he would rather talk to you, than anybody else.
thats almost the end of my story
but now am gonna add something to this story which is infact the truth.
on the ride to my dads, we were talking and he drove past this area and
said he lives around there and after a while said he lives there cos its
a good neighbourhood 4 his daughter to grow-(i sorta knew he had a
daughter already) and i was asking who takes care of her wen hes not
there and he said her mother so i said the big question-
OH UR MARRIED?.. and hes like NO and i say well ur one of the guys who
live with their girlfriend and not get married and he said Shes not my
girlfriend and i got confused and hes like " you wanna know the
truth?" am like yeah and he says , hes allowed to date and
shes allowed to date whoever and that they jst share his house and that
it was just for his daugther-(this mite sound like an excuse but i knw 4
a fact he was raised by his grandma.i dont knw abt his parents and have
never asked )- daughters s! ake and he knew it isnt a good arrangment but
if he met someone and got serious with them then definaltly he wud leave
it.
That puts a whole new perspective on your situation.
This guy has other attachments, so it is going to be difficult to develop
another relationship. And maybe why he was extra cautious with
those ladies in your class that where text flirting with him.
Presuming he is being honest and doesn’t have a relationship going with
his child’s mother, it still makes your potential relationship slightly
more complicated. Like would he be willing to leave his child for
another woman. Will his child and the mother get in your way.
I am really out of my depth advising you in this situation, I don’t know
enough about single fathers to be able to comment that much.
after that i cudnt ask any more questions
and we had only just known each other 4 like 3 weeks at the time . hes
rang me twice b4 this converstaion on his landphone and if he actually
was a cheat he wuldnt and i've called him on it as well and we had a
normal fun and interetsing conversation..so wat do u think. BUT..i rang
his landphone 3 days ago and a woman picked it up and after asking
who i was , she said " wrong number" ..but i was sure it was
his landline and i told her a fake name .not my real name .
I also sent him a text 3 days
ago..actually i was ringing him initially to complain abt this dude on my
course who annoyed me and i was so angry (i rang him up as a friend )to
tell him wat the guy had done but it went to his voicemail and so i tried
his landphone that ! was wen i got the woman who said it was a
wrong number, and then eventually i sent a text to tell him how
angry i was at that guy, as i wanted the guy to drop me off home and he
said yes but still left me but hes not replied the text and am wondering
y.
Finally..i knw ur angry at me 4 writing
so much at this point..bear with me..its love!..well Fred always comes to
me and asks advice abt uni wrk "like do u think i shud write the
answer in this way ?..." even tho hes more brilliant than me . he
always gets a mark or two higher than me everytime yet he comes to ask me
stuff and wen we talk he regularly says stuff like .."am just like
u..i dont like grapes too..." etc and each time he says it i jst
feel closer to him.
In conclusion..( i think i've done 2000
words at this point!) , i find it funny that i trust! this guy like
i have never trusted any guy i dated and it scares me. Not that i trust
he will never do anything bad..i jst trust him as a man and knw i can be
safe with him..does that make anysense?..and if u knw me ..u'll knw i
have never really trusted anyone except my family...and you...he
he..i jst opened my heart to u...
I promise this is the last paragraph and
i i have no more suprises abt this guy except that i still fancy him and
wonder what u think i shud do. how wud a woman shw shes interested in a
guy without coming on too strong ?..
You have certainly got to think instinctively, any chance you
get in general conversation can potentially lead to you asking him out,
without actually blatantly asking him out. I can’t really give you
any further examples other than that “weekend one”, because things just
get dropped into conversations and you have to manipulate the
conversation instantly into an asking out opportunity.
Another way of getting together is using close body
language. For example, you need to grab something and he is in your
way. Don’t say excuse me, but just lean on him, in a relaxed not
forceful or obvious way. Rest your boobs on him. When a woman
has brushed her boobs against me, it has always sent a thunderbolt up my
spine, whether I find her attractive or not, and whether it was
accidental or not, it really is a very nice feeling for a bloke. Or
go the full hog when leaning over him and rest your boobs against the top
of him and open up the full front of your body so your trailing foot is
round the back of one of his legs, your midrift is touching his
legs. Just think of him as a friend or think of it as a game, you
are not bothered about him having full access to your body, so why be
nervous about it.
Other close body language situations. Whisper in his
ears, but get so close that your lips actually touch his ear briefly
(accidentally of course).
In other cases it just happens, you are sat close to each
other, you are both laughing then all of a sudden your eyes meet and your
lips just instantly move together and you start kissing. This will
just happen and believe me you will do it instinctively without even
thinking about it. But you have to put yourself in that position as
much as possible. Sitting face to face is no good, sitting facing the
front like you do in class is no good. Sitting next to each other
and facing each other at an angle is ideal.
Click
here to Ask Sam some questions
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