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Sharon on 06/07/2005
I had many conversations with a guy I fancied.He flirted with me,
accidentally touched my leg and apologised, and replied to all my texts.
He never sent me one text though which was odd. He invited me out with
his mates once and I went but think I came on too strong (i texted him
and asked him out again as soon as I got home) The following week i asked
him out again and he said he would let me know but never got back to me.
i decided to leave it and play it cool. Then 5 days later I had a car
crash and texted him to tell him, I also added that I wouldnt bother him
anymore with my texts. he replied immediately saying I wasnt bothering
him and asking if I was alright. he also added lots of humourous
comments. This is mixed messages. Does it sound like he does like me?
Maybe I should try the direct face to face invite out instead of text?
Sam's Response
Very difficult questions
you asked there. I am not sure whether I can answer them accurately. I
will break down each of your questions and answer them individually.
Men don't accidentally touch a woman's leg. This was done on purpose
especially seem as though he was flirting with you at the time. What was
your reactions when he touched your leg? Did you react negatively in any
way? If you did, he may have drawn the conclusion that you didn't fancy
him.
What type of bloke is he? Is he a verbally confident type of guy or is he
a bit shy? If he is the confident type guy: he is probably trying to make
you do all work. In other words you text him and show him how much you
want him. If he is the shy kind of guy, he will probably hold back from
texting you because he does not want to seem like a stalker. Moreover I
always find that women give overkeen men the flick, so he may have learnt
from past experiences not to contact women too much too soon.
It is true that coming on too strong can scare many men off. Well it
depends what you mean by coming on too strong. Most men don't want to see
any signs of commitment to a relationship for the first few dates. And
commitment includes overly possessive body language such as snuggling up
to him when he is with his friends or using possessive language.
But if you meant you came on too strong by offering him sex, then maybe
he is the very rare shy type of guy that doesn't like jumping at a sexual
opportunity. To most men, sex is not classed as commitment and therefore
that is not classed as coming on too strong. Sounds odd but that's the
way men think!
However in your case it does not look good. You have asked him out twice
and asking him out once should have been enough. I advise you to forget
about him and move onto someone else.
Unfortunately, no I would say he probably does not fancy you. Sorry to
give you such bad news! If he really did fancy you, he would have jumped
at your first attempt to ask him out, or at least the second.
My best friend often texts women back when he is drunk, looking for sex
or lonely. He does not want a long term relationship with any of them, he
just does it on the spur of the moment. He then asks the women to come
out with some of his friends on the spur of the moment. Then when it gets
to the date, his mood is totally different because he is not drunk, not
lonely and not gagging for sex.
In your case you have made it clear that you fancy him, if he wants to
take it further, he should be the one taking it further not you.
I would say your chances of being with him were blown on the first night
when he touched your leg and then said sorry about it. It did not
necessarily go wrong because of your fault but was maybe that first night
when you were not in sync with each other. It was not meant to be, so
move on.
Click
here to Ask Sam some questions
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