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ameilia on 12/11/2006
There are two men who are managers
at this pizza restaurant where i have been a regular customer for around
2 years now.
Guy 1 - have known him through my
visits there for about 2 years since i've been there. He also lives near
me, so sometimes would see him on his way to or from work so would talk.
Although he is married with children he would always flirt with me,
teased me in the beginning touching me, starting on the arm moving to the
back later moving onto stroking and he did hug me the once which i considered
moving across the line, not just a normal hug he was caressing my
lower back it was totally unexpected luckily this only happened the once.
I didn't know he was married at first, i was flattered someone was
interested in me as i had given up on men been hurt too many times.
So i feel for him big time when i
tried to forget him but he had a way of making me interested in him
again.
Yes i know i could have just not
gone to the restaurant but it was part and still is part of my social
network. And often he would ask me if i was avoiding me (yes Sam i have
posted before under different guises)
I thought I recognised the story
from somewhere, for some reason I seem to be remembering something about
a train journey as well. You were avoiding him, thank goodness,
since he was already married.
Thankfully my working hours have
changed and i don't see him as often unless i go in there and even now
when i go in there he's hardly there so thats a bonus and i am putting
him behind me
Guy 2 - He hasn't been there as
long can't really say how long because i didn't really notice him as much
to begin with apart from him seeming to be a nice guy. Sometimes when i
was doing my old hours at work i would telephone my order and would speak
to him sometimes, wondered after if i was flirting with him, he would
often call me sweetheart and babe (1st guy would often use terms of
endearment as well) but that doesn't necessarily mean anything.
It makes me cringe when I hear
guys call women they don't know well, these patronising type names,
darling, sweetheart, babe etc.
Since doing my new hours and popping
in there whether it was for a takeaway or to eat in, he's been in there
more often. But i'm starting to see him in a different light and am
starting to like him more, would like to know him better but don't know
if its good ethics on his part (dating a customer). Sometimes i've seen
him and i've wondered if i'm seeing signs from him that he might like me
but then i could be imagining it and seeing things what i want to see.
examples
when he brought over my meal a takeaway he placed it in my hand
with slightly more pressure that was normal and looked in my eye and he
seemed to blink
Looking into someones eyes is not
normal, for someone you hardly know. It must at least be some
indication of attraction to you, but it needs to be backed up by other
things.
when i went in the other night he
took me to my table (2nd time i'd been in there that week - he was there
the 1st night as well) and said i was becoming a regular
Means nothing really, just
friendly chit chat.
could have sworn he kept
looking over at me many times that night but could be mistaken
Restaurant staff have to
constantly look at their clients to decide whether they require
assistance or need their table clearing, so again not conclusive evidence
in a restaurant environment.
As i was leaving it had been busy
there all night so didn't speak to him don't know if that was good or bad
but i didn't want to disturb him i said thanks and goodbye to my waitress
then he said bye and see you again or something like that
Again, could be just friendliness,
but it's on it's way to being a positive sign. Because he was busy
and didn't want you leaving without him saying goodbye. Obviously
he didn't want you to forget about him.
question really i guess should i
just forget him or do you think there could be any liklihood of anything
happening between us, as i only ever see him in the restaurant. or is he
just being nice so i'll come back again.
From what you have told me, I
really can't say conclusively. The signs are positive, but they are
only weak signs at the moment.
As far as i know he's not married no
rings on fingers, something i do check for now since my last mistake.
Good, married men are no good,
they are cheaters, who are more than likely to cheat on you if you get
together. Divorced men are a good option, but of course that's
diverting from the subject.
Sam i posted yesterday but here is a
bit of a follow up and just wanted your opinion.
I was meeting a friend today (just a
buddy, an old school friend) to have a bite to eat followed by a film.
I decided to make an effort, wore a
nice long skirt, boots, nice top even put on some make up did my hair.
Secretly hoping that this guy i like would be there and he'd notice me.
We have spoken many times before,
but it didn't work, he did speak to me when he brought over one of my
courses but said nothing else. It wasn't busy though he might have had
things on his mind. But the other 2 managers there did come over and
speak to me. (one male one female)
Guy 2 might have been put off by
two things. One was that he thought you might have been on a date
with the male and the other is he had Guy 1 trying to attract your
attention. So he might have gone cool on you for the one night for
these two reasons. Some guys will make loads of effort and then if
they get an idea that you are already dating, he will just give up.
He doesn't want to look silly by asking you out or chasing you when you
have already got a man. He may also be standing back trying to
figure out whether you are dating this other male or not. Too often
men set their sights on a woman, only to find that she is taken and it is
kind of de-moralising for a man to experience this. And men
generally can't tell whether another male is a friend or a partner.
On the other hand my ex-crush was
there, he took me to my seat, i had arrived before my friend. He
commented on how i was dressed up i was.
He asked if i had a date, i just
laughed that off. Typical the one who you want to notice you doesn't, and
the one you are getting over does.
With women if a man they fancy, is
out with another woman, it tends to make them jealous and they try and
compete. With most men it makes them jealous at first, then their
mind swings to, "there are plenty more women available", they
generally don't bother competing or actively showing jealously. So
in general it is not a particularly good tactic to make a man jealous.
I've got to be honest, you haven't
given me any conclusive evidence that this guy fancies you. My
statement about Guy 2 backing off, because he was faced with 2
competitors is not really conclusive evidence that he fancies you or
indeed whether that was what he was really thinking. So I think you
still need to get to know this guy a bit more before understanding
whether he is interested in you and whether he is not married.
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