I met this guy on the dancefloor last week. He came over to me and introduced himself. We had a chat about what we did, where we lived, etc.
We then had a kiss and we should meet up, anyway so basically acting very keen. Obviously we had both been drinking. He said that he really likes me and got my phone number.
When people have been drinking you can't really judge anything they say as being correct. Both women and men find a lot more people attractive when they have been drinking alcohol, than when they do when they are sober. Alcohol switches the reasoning part of the brain off, so people's abilities to make decisions are severely impaired. Usually the only decisions that people are thinking about before and during a night out, is will I get off with someone tonight. When alcohol comes into the picture that's usually the only thing they are thinking about.
We met up the day after and had a few drinks - we got on well.
He got to see you when you and him were sober. This is the crucial time. The time when he will make the proper decisions. His memory of you on the dancefloor, in the dark and while you were both a bit tipsy would have been completely different to his perception of you when you met each other the day after. The fact that you met a day later was a positive thing because you obviously were keen to meet each other. But this is when you get the reality of what each of you really are like.
That was a week ago - and he has not been in touch. When we said goodbye he said see you later. He has my email address as well.
It depends, in what way he said see you later. He might have said see you later hoping to see you again. Or he may have said see you later, meaning I'm not really interested in seeing you again.
If he got some negative vibes from you, then he might have come to the conclusion you weren't interested in him. If however you were positive towards him for most of the night it looks likely that he didn't really find you that attractive. You don't mention any kissing or any attempt to make a sexual advance, so it sounds like this guy is not really interested.
You have got to analyse the way he left you and how much time he spent with you on this occasion. Was he keen to get away? Did he look you in the eye when he said see you later?
I'm confused because he said that he really likes me - or is it because he's sober he has to act like he doesn't like me...
From what you have said, it doesn't sound as if he really likes you. Why, would he go out with you and then say see you later and not bother contacting you again within a week. He's either got into his mind that you are not interested, or more likely you are not the one for him. Most guys will say that they like women for many reasons because:
- they want to keep them sweet in case they want sex with them later,
- they want to keep in a woman's good books, because if he is out with another woman and you are in his bad books and are there as well, then he will be constantly watching his back for you to get your revenge
- he will also want to keep you in his good books because the more woman that a man knows and who is attracted to him, the more likely other women will be putty in his hands. The more women he can get interested in him, the more women that will be proclaiming he is a stud and the more competition he can drum up amongst women.
- He will also think it is too nasty to say that you are an ugly bore (that's just an example, I'm not saying your an ugly bore), even if he was thinking it. Most men deep down, don't want to break a woman's heart, they are just not very good at implementing that concept and often their need for sex takes over that concept.
how long do I give him?
He's had long enough already. Any attempt to get back together now, is a desperate attempt from you to win him back. Then he will know that he has you in his hands and ready for a sexual encounter. Needless to say that he is not really interested in anything more than that but will use your desperation to get that sexual encounter. My conclusion, he hasn't contacted you, he doesn't value you enough, so move on and find another bloke that does. If he does contact you out of the blue, it is more than likely that he is at a loose end sex wise, so wants to make an attempt to get you into bed because he has no other options.
