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barbarashaw on 08/12/2006
I met this guy on the dancefloor
last week. He came over to me and introduced himself. We had a chat about
what we did, where we lived, etc.
We then had a kiss and we should
meet up, anyway so basically acting very keen. Obviously we had both been
drinking. He said that he really likes me and got my phone number.
When people have been drinking you
can't really judge anything they say as being correct. Both women
and men find a lot more people attractive when they have been drinking
alcohol, than when they do when they are sober. Alcohol switches
the reasoning part of the brain off, so people's abilities to make
decisions are severely impaired. Usually the only decisions that
people are thinking about before and during a night out, is will I get
off with someone tonight. When alcohol comes into the picture
that's usually the only thing they are thinking about.
We met up the day after and had a
few drinks - we got on well.
He got to see you when you and him
were sober. This is the crucial time. The time when he will
make the proper decisions. His memory of you on the dancefloor, in
the dark and while you were both a bit tipsy would have been completely
different to his perception of you when you met each other the day
after. The fact that you met a day later was a positive thing
because you obviously were keen to meet each other. But this is
when you get the reality of what each of you really are like.
That was a week ago - and he has not
been in touch. When we said goodbye he said see you later. He has my
email address as well.
It depends, in what way he said
see you later. He might have said see you later hoping to see you
again. Or he may have said see you later, meaning I'm not really
interested in seeing you again.
If he got some negative vibes from
you, then he might have come to the conclusion you weren't interested in
him. If however you were positive towards him for most of the night
it looks likely that he didn't really find you that attractive. You
don't mention any kissing or any attempt to make a sexual advance, so it
sounds like this guy is not really interested.
You have got to analyse the way he
left you and how much time he spent with you on this occasion. Was
he keen to get away? Did he look you in the eye when he said see you
later?
I'm confused because he said that he
really likes me - or is it because he's sober he has to act like he
doesn't like me...
From what you have said, it
doesn't sound as if he really likes you. Why, would he go out with
you and then say see you later and not bother contacting you again within
a week. He's either got into his mind that you are not interested,
or more likely you are not the one for him. Most guys will say that
they like women for many reasons because:
- they want to keep them sweet in
case they want sex with them later,
- they want to keep in a woman's
good books, because if he is out with another woman and you are in his
bad books and are there as well, then he will be constantly watching his
back for you to get your revenge
- he will also want to keep you in
his good books because the more woman that a man knows and who is
attracted to him, the more likely other women will be putty in his
hands. The more women he can get interested in him, the more women
that will be proclaiming he is a stud and the more competition he can
drum up amongst women.
- He will also think it is too
nasty to say that you are an ugly bore (that's just an example, I'm not
saying your an ugly bore), even if he was thinking it. Most men
deep down, don't want to break a woman's heart, they are just not very
good at implementing that concept and often their need for sex takes over
that concept.
how long do I give him?
He's had long enough
already. Any attempt to get back together now, is a desperate
attempt from you to win him back. Then he will know that he has you
in his hands and ready for a sexual encounter. Needless to say that
he is not really interested in anything more than that but will use your
desperation to get that sexual encounter. My conclusion, he hasn't
contacted you, he doesn't value you enough, so move on and find another
bloke that does. If he does contact you out of the blue, it is more
than likely that he is at a loose end sex wise, so wants to make an
attempt to get you into bed because he has no other options.
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