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boohoo98 on 08/03/2006
i have a nice-ish body (i'm not too fat
or thin) and i just can't seem to get a boyfriend my friends say i have a
great personality and they say they want to be just like me. But i can't
get a boyfriend and i've been single for 4 years and i can't be bothered
to look for "Mr right" to come along. Please help i can't
understand why lads won't look at me.
Sam's Reply
Your body is the most important thing to
attract attention and your personality is the most important thing to
make a relationship last.
I say that because most men will check
out a woman with a gorgeous body. However only the most confident
men, will approach a woman with a gorgeous body. The reason for
that is most men believe gorgeous women are unapproachable. They
think, I don't stand a chance with them so I won't bother. The key
thing is that most will still check you out and some won't be able to
keep their eyes off you. There is also a tendency for men to
presume that you are bound to have a boyfriend or you are bound to have
blokes approaching you all the time, so he is likely to look a failure if
he approaches you. Another common problem men have with good
looking women is a "bitch attitude". You approach a woman
and all you get is "get lost loser", a less confident man will
retreat in this situation and be a bit hurt, though he won't say
that. A confident man might keep on trying or will retreat and just
move onto the next target.
The place where personality comes in, is
when you are dating men. If you have a good personality, this can
help you keep a man. What man is going to turn down a woman that he
gets on well with. Even then, you might have a great personality,
but that personality is not always going to be compatible with every man
you meet. I think personality incompatibility is the most common reason
for a relationship breakdown. If your personalities are not
compatible why carry on. When men use women for sex, you could
conclude that the reason they are using the women for sex is because they
don't see them as a long term relationship potential. Therefore
they try and keep the relationship going for as long as possible so they
can use the woman for sex for as long as possible. Though not all
men are like this!
What you need to do, is get to know men
as friends and get to know men through your friends. By getting to
know them a bit more, you can crush the barriers where men think you are
unapproachable because Yawn "they think your out of their
league". Be more conscious of where men are looking when you
walk into a room. If you are gorgeous they will catch sneaky looks
at you when you are not looking. A useful tip is to watch in
mirrors in a pub or nightclub to see if the guys behind you are checking
you out. Because most will not do it openly. If you catch one
looking that you like, just smile at them and look away, then look back
at some point.
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