i went on a blind date with a friend of a friend, and he had seen a picture of me but when we went on the date we didnt really have much 2 say but we had a ok conversation. i later found out that he told my friend that i wasnt his type, this has made me a really insecure person as that has never happened to me before. i get a lot of attention from men but now im scared to date in case i get told im not their type. i take good care of myself and my looks so why wasnt i his type?

Sam's response

I personally believe that it was a good thing, that this guy said he wasn't your type.  What could have happened is he could have gone out with you and used you for sex, despite the fact he didn't find you attractive.  You could have gone out with each other and you could have got attached to him and fallen in love with him and then found out, you weren't matched to each other, that is an even more devastating feeling.

If you didn't have much to say, then that is probably why he came to the decision that you weren't his type.

No person in this world is attractive to everybody.  All guys and all women have different tastes in men and women.  There are some women that I fancy, that my friends just don't understand why I fancy, there are some women my friends fancy but I think they are ugly.  It's true that some people are more attractive than others, but I doubt they are fancied by everyone.

You can easily look a very attractive woman, but if your personality isn't suited to a woman, why would you want to go out with them.  The fact is looks can only be a certain part of the equation, women tend to lose their looks as they get older.  What a man wants is an attractive woman, who has a personality which is suited to his.  Different men are attracted to different personalities.  A man has to find the right blend of personality. 

Quite a few men would just use a woman for sex, even though they don't see each other as suited, these are the men you should be bothered with.  It is much better if a man is honest like this one, even though it dents your confidence a bit.

So don't come under the illusion that looks are everything, don't come under the illusion that your personality is going to be suited to everyone.  Because it certainly isn't. 

A quiet man is not going to find a quiet woman attractive.  A loud and gobby man is not going to find a gobby woman attractive.  A guy that is not that confident is not going to find a woman that is up her own arse about how good looking she is, is not going to be that attracted to that kind of woman.  And the same is true if the guy is up his own arse about how good looking he is.

I know not everybody believes in horoscopes but if you visit this horoscope web site and select a few different signs to match with yours, you will start to understand why the personality of you and your man is important in a long term relationship: http://www.astrology.com.au/compatibility/index.asp

To have a long term relationship, you need to be physically attracted to each other, you need to be able to share good times together, you need to be able to talk to each other freely, you need to be able to get through the good times and bad times together.  Looks is not everything, even though they are important to most men.

Why should you be scared to date for someone saying your not their type.  I bet you say to your friends that some men are not your type, so what's the difference.  The only thing is you have found out in this case, because this guy told your friend, in most cases you won't find out.  Finding the right person for you long term is not easy, very few people find them in their first couple of relationships, you just have to continue and battle your way through the relationships and then you should finally find your ideal man.