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candygirl on 16/04/2006
i went on a blind date with a friend of a
friend, and he had seen a picture of me but when we went on the date we
didnt really have much 2 say but we had a ok conversation. i later found
out that he told my friend that i wasnt his type, this has made me a really
insecure person as that has never happened to me before. i get a lot of
attention from men but now im scared to date in case i get told im not
their type. i take good care of myself and my looks so why wasnt i his
type?
Sam's response
I personally believe that it was a good
thing, that this guy said he wasn't your type. What could have
happened is he could have gone out with you and used you for sex, despite
the fact he didn't find you attractive. You could have gone out
with each other and you could have got attached to him and fallen in love
with him and then found out, you weren't matched to each other, that is
an even more devastating feeling.
If you didn't have much to say, then that
is probably why he came to the decision that you weren't his type.
No person in this world is attractive to
everybody. All guys and all women have different tastes in men and
women. There are some women that I fancy, that my friends just
don't understand why I fancy, there are some women my friends fancy but I
think they are ugly. It's true that some people are more attractive
than others, but I doubt they are fancied by everyone.
You can easily look a very attractive
woman, but if your personality isn't suited to a woman, why would you
want to go out with them. The fact is looks can only be a certain
part of the equation, women tend to lose their looks as they get
older. What a man wants is an attractive woman, who has a
personality which is suited to his. Different men are attracted to
different personalities. A man has to find the right blend of
personality.
Quite a few men would just use a woman for
sex, even though they don't see each other as suited, these are the men
you should be bothered with. It is much better if a man is honest
like this one, even though it dents your confidence a bit.
So don't come under the illusion that
looks are everything, don't come under the illusion that your personality
is going to be suited to everyone. Because it certainly
isn't.
A quiet man is not going to find a quiet
woman attractive. A loud and gobby man is not going to find a gobby
woman attractive. A guy that is not that confident is not going to
find a woman that is up her own arse about how good looking she is, is
not going to be that attracted to that kind of woman. And the same
is true if the guy is up his own arse about how good looking he is.
I know not everybody believes in
horoscopes but if you visit this horoscope web site and select a few
different signs to match with yours, you will start to understand why the
personality of you and your man is important in a long term relationship:
http://www.astrology.com.au/compatibility/index.asp
To have a long term relationship, you need
to be physically attracted to each other, you need to be able to share
good times together, you need to be able to talk to each other freely,
you need to be able to get through the good times and bad times
together. Looks is not everything, even though they are important
to most men.
Why should you be scared to date for
someone saying your not their type. I bet you say to your friends
that some men are not your type, so what's the difference. The only
thing is you have found out in this case, because this guy told your
friend, in most cases you won't find out. Finding the right person
for you long term is not easy, very few people find them in their first
couple of relationships, you just have to continue and battle your way
through the relationships and then you should finally find your ideal
man.
Click
here to Ask Sam some questions
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