I'm not long out of a long term relationship and not sure exactly what i'm
looking for but this guy is nice and i'd just want some advice as what to do
next.
Reply by Sam
As you probably know from reading my other articles, I don't recommend
having sex, so soon in a relationship. This is particularly if you want to find
out if he is serious about you.
Well did you reply to the text he sent you? If so then you need to
reply to the text he sent you.
It is pretty difficult now, because you played into his hands by having
sex with him straight away. There could be a few situations that result
from this:
1) He doesn't fancy you and it was only a one night stand and he wants to
forget about it, unlikely but possible.
2) He was using you for sex and wasn't the slightest bit interested in a
relationship. But will contact you again when he wants sex and can't get
it elsewhere. More likely than possibility 1.
3) He would like a relationship with you, but is not sure whether you are
interested in him. He doesn't want to be too keen because this might put
you off. More likely than possibility 1.
As you have indicated that you didn't reply to his text? (I presuming that
by the way you have worded your message to me). You need to give him the
benefit of the doubt at the moment and presume he falls into category 3.
And therefore if he was the last one to send a message, you need to send him a
message with an open ended message that he needs to reply to if he is interested
in you.
The problem is this still will not tell you whether he falls into category
2 or 3. Because if he falls into category 2 he will want to keep you
sweet, so will more than likely reply back. And he may not want to meet up
with you until he feels like his next sex session.
Now you see why I never recommend sex on a first date, if you want a
serious relationship out of it.
If you wait to hear from him, and he falls within category 3, he will
probably not contact you. If he falls into category 2, he will be
contacting when he is ready for some sex.
The best thing you can do now, is to contact him and meet up with him a
few times before having sex with him again. The more times you go out,
without him getting sex, the more likely you are to be able to tell whether he
wants both you and sex or whether he just wants the sex on it's own.
All you need to do in the text message is make general conversation,
eventually after a few text messages an opportunity will come for you or him to
ask you out. There is no point in thinking you are going to look like an
idiot, this is the dating game your playing, you are going to have successes and
failures, if you don't take risks then you are not going to get anywhere.
