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delicious on 21/02/2006
I need help, why is it that me and my ex
partner of 5 years have been finished 10 months, and I just cant get him
out of my head.
You have spent a large chunk of your life
with him, and he is probably almost like family. The only people
you have probably seen more of in your life, is your close family.
If you stopped seeing them, the chances are you would seriously miss
them, the same is true of this boyfriend. Except it is different
circumstances with your boyfriend. You have split up on bad terms
and really need to get each other out of your minds. It's time to
move on, like you would leave a job and leave all the friends from that
job behind.
I wake up every morning still wondering
what he will be doing, I think about him throughout the day a lot, and
still find myself wanting to go to the places that I know he is going to
be even though i don't. He has a new girlfriend now and I cant help but
feel so jealous, not because I think she's pretty but because i feel that
she has got my man.
This is probably part of the healing
process for him, having a new girlfriend and getting you out of his mind,
and finding out that it is actually good to have someone else.
Though he is probably still thinking of you from time to time and
wondering what it would have been like if he was still with
you.
You also need to move on and find a new
man, begin to realise that there are men out there who you can have a
better time with. There are men out there who you could settle down with
and spend the rest of your life with. Another man could easily last
longer than the 5 year relationship you have had with this other
man. You may not find your ideal man immediately but he is out
there somewhere.
I think I should be over him by now but I
just cannot stop thinking about him and all the good things we used to
get up to together. I must say that the reason why we finished is because
I cheated, but I regret that so much that when people ask me about it I
get upset and start crying because I feel that it was the biggest mistake
I have ever made and also extremely guilty because that is not in my
nature to do something like that.
Again, you have got to get over that, you
made a mistake, everybody makes mistakes. The important thing is
you learn from that mistake and never do it again. When you find
the man of your dreams you have to make sure you don't fall into the trap
of cheating on him. What happened in the past, you should learn
from, but never get stuck in the past because the future always hold
something better.
Reply by Puzzled (a regular visitor to my
site) on 28.02.06
This man and I fell in love head over
heels for 2.5 years. He was and still is married. I know what you all
think, but it was true love: we were good friends, compatible, we had
good sex, we cared about each other's feelings so whenever there was a
problem, we'd bring it up and discuss it instead of burying it, we were
happy. Two of his friends knew about us and were absolutely sure that he
did love me. He worked from home and I wasn't working at the time, so
we'd spend daytime together at his place. To cut a long story short, too
much for him to give up (he was 59, when we split up). No regrets at all:
I now know what love feels like. What it is I should look for in a
relationship. Anyway, "delicious", just wanted to say the
relationship lasted 2.5 years and it took me 2.5 years to get over him.
So there. Good luck. You'll be ok.
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