Met a divorced man with two children

You said "I accidently knocked him in the eye and he got quite angry at me and that night" It is human instinct for someone to get angry or uncomfortable if someone pokes you in the eye, whether it was accidental or not. I am sure if he had done the same to you, you would not have been too chuffed.

You said "he said he could not sleep if I stayed at his place and I left and went home after sex at 1am" Wait a moment though, do you mean he got angry after you poked him in the eye and then he said you could not sleep the night, but then you had sex. If he was so angry he should have insisted that you went home straight after you poked him in the eye, not after you had sex. That is out of order of him and using the poking of the eye incident to get rid of you after he had used you for sex, if it was really in that order (or have I mis-interpreted what you said).

You said "hang out as mates?" Mates that have casual sex, when he feels like it?

You said "he said he was confused" I bet you were confused as well, but I bet you were not acting like an idiot.

You said "alarm bells went off in his head when I got so cross when he asked me to leave that night" Oh, so you got cross with him, as well. If this had happened to me on a date, I would have put it down as a bad experience and not bothered to contact the woman again. First impressions last and the first impressions were bad in this case. You don't keep someone dangling and say you are confused and try and get back with them, it is just too indecisive. The fact he is indecisive at an early stage shows that it is not going to work out long term.

You said "A week later he texted me 3 times" About the time when he was getting desperate for sex again?

You said "seems a bit of a mess" If it's messy now, it is always going to be a mess.

You said "He is not treating me like a mate or like a sex buddy either." So what benefit do you see in continuing the relationship?

Virtually everything you said about him has been negative. I think your friends are right, forget about him.

Hi thanks for your comments. I need to clarify some points, not that it makes a difference really. We had sex, was really lovely etc, then he said he needed to sleep and I was going to stay. I then continued to act playful and he was not that into it as he was tired and wanted to sleep and as he reached towards me I was reaching towards him and knocked him in the eye with my elbow. Then, he said I dont think im gonna be able to get any sleep like this. I said do you want me to go and he said he had a spare room, or did i want him to drive me home, but I was a bit rejected and said no I would go and huffed about and put on my clothes in a big huff. I returned to say goodbye and was calm and kissed him gently. Also, I apologized several times and kissed his eye etc. He has not apologized for sending me away though. The sex cmae first , then the poke in the eye, then the cross feelongs from him then me.

Also, I'd like to add that he seems like a genuine lovely man etc but we just had an unfortunate beginning, with me chopping and changing my mind. I shtere any way I can change it around. I do feel we are compatible and there is also chemistry as well , which is rare for there to be both? Or am I fooling myself and this can not be turned around?

Elocks
Ah that is not as bad as I thought then. The incident came after the sex.

Again I must point out that whenever you hit some in the eye, whether it be playful, accidental or on purpose, it is going to put them on the defensive or make them a bit angry. It is simply human instinct (natural reaction for a man or a woman).

You said "he was tired and wanted to sleep" I hear women saying lots that they get frustrated when men go to sleep straight after sex. The fact is that a man has just burned up so much energy, you would find it difficult not to sleep. If he really has put his full energy into sex, his muscles will be aching (even if he is a top athlete), some of his internal organs will be pretty worn out and one particular external organ will be particularly worn out. Even if the woman was on top and doing all the physical work, a man's body is still pumping blood at a much faster rate (mainly to supply the blood to that organ down below).

I am not trying to say that women just lay there and do nothing, but the physical energy that a man's body burns up, is going to be greater than that of a woman. It is therefore enough to make a man, both tired and as a result a bit moody as well. Therefore if he is tired and not in the mood, don't wind him up. A man needs his sleep to regain his physical strength, never try to disturb a man's sleep (believe me he will be as grumpy as hell).

You said "huffed about and put on my clothes in a big huff." Men hate huffy attitudes, the fact that he was tired would have made your huffy attitude even more annoying. Because when a man's tired he has an inability to humour anyone and work you out of your huffy attitude. Men sometimes laugh at a woman's attitude, because it is quite entertaining at the right time. But done at the wrong time, it makes women look like a spoilt brat, that wants their own way all the time. (That's what a man will be thinking, but of course he wouldn't dare say what he is thinking, because then the woman would get even worse).

You said "He has not apologized for sending me away though" By apologising he would bring an unpleasant situation back into both your minds. He would also be apologising for something he wasn't sorry about. The fact is he wanted some sleep, the only way for him to get some sleep was to ask you to leave. A man would just want to forget about it and move on, not bring the issue up and potentially start an argument.

You said "had an unfortunate beginning, with me chopping and changing my mind" You were obviously chopping and changing your mind for a reason. So in the back of your mind you are not sure about this guy. If your mind is unsure then I believe it is not going to work out long term.

You said "Or am I fooling myself and this can not be turned around?" From a man's point of view, I think he would have probably been thinking like this:
You poke him in the eye.
I want some sleep, I am tired, she is going to have to go home, otherwise I am going to get more annoyed with her. She won't be able to resist messing about for the next few hours. So I am not going to get any sleep.
Next morning comes, he thinks that was very embarrassing, I did not handle it well because I was tired, what will she think. I feel guilty about having sex with her and then telling her to go home. She was a nice enough woman. I really enjoyed the sex and really enjoyed her company before the sex took place. But I am so embarrassed, I don't want to really see this woman again because I know she is going to bring that issue up all the time. I don't want to constantly be reminded of that incident but she is likely to remind me every time she is in a mood with me. Her huffy attitude when I asked her to leave, really annoyed me and creeped me out, and reminded me of my ex-wife.
A week later: I am desperate for sex and desperate for a woman's company. That lady from last week really did seem like the one for me. I don't know why I shunned her. Then the incident will go through his mind again. He will try to convince himself it was not that bad. I think I will contact her and try my luck. I don't really want to go through that incident again but maybe it was just a bad week. I am desperate for sex and a woman's company so it's either this lady or find someone else.

Maybe I am wrong and he is not thinking this way. But it seems from the series of events that this is most likely what he is thinking. And you can pick up from what I am saying above, is that he is totally confused, more focused on sex and having the company of a woman, than focused on a long lasting relationship, where you live happy ever after.

Of course you are in the situation and actually experiencing this situation and not all men are the same. I only tell women on this site what I think the majority of men think. So ultimately it is up to you. I personally think your friends are right "Move on and forget about him". I

If the poking of the eye incident had happened a few months into the relationship then things would have probably worked out. So early in relationship, has really spoilt it in this case. But it has happened now (fate), and it wasn't meant to be.

Hi thanks for your comments, i would like to give you an update on the situation and how you have helped a lot. I have not heard from him since my reply to his text last tuesday (5days ago) and I have not contacted him and plan to continue to give him space until he texts again (which im sure he will - its only time)my question is this : I feel this can be turned around especially givn that he texts me again, how should I respond to his texts to not appear desperate for him and to draw him close to me again, if he doesnt actually ask for a date but just sends general hi how are ya, hope youre weel, type texts??? Thanks.

Hi, i wanted to update you on the situation, as it has changed again. I decided to take everyones (including yours) advice and comments on board and move on. However, I do want to be friends with him as when we were just friends we got on the best and had the best time together. So, I sent him a text and left a voicemail saying would he like to come and have coffee with me, and I got no response, so i left another voicemail the next day saying, i'd really like a text from him just to say either we can be friends and he would like to be invited for coffee again, or he would like to be left alone and not be conracted from me again, just a quick texty to let me know. I left this message in a nice, easy, friendly way, and it sounded better than it does here. I felt ok , not pushy or demanding , as it probrably sounds. Anyway, 1 minute after i left that voice message he sent me a text saying , Sorry Karen, speak later, x. So I felt better about leaving that message. I replied saying thanks, its not heavy, just want to know if i have a friend or if you dont want to know me at all. He sent another text saying he has just been busy, been away for the weekend and he does want to be friends and he will call me later if hes not too tired. My question is; do you think he is just saying this because i texted twice and left 2 messages for him?

You said "He sent another text saying he has just been busy" Men can get busy and unlike women we can't focus on two things at once. In the past I have blanked women because I was just too busy to devote any time to a relationship. Women are a very heavy burden on your time and require a lot of devoted attention.

So if he has got an important promotion coming up which will increase his wages, women become second priority at that point. He will be thinking, you only get one chance at the promotion, but there are plenty of women out there and plenty of time to find those women.

Of course this is just one instance where a man has more important things to do. There are many other examples where relationships will be put on the back burner with men. Men don't give relationships as higher priority as women. That's not to say they won't eventually give a relationship high priority, it is just he needs time to dedicate himself to the relationship with no other distractions.

You said "do you think he is just saying this because i texted twice and left 2 messages for him?" No I wouldn't say so. If he did not want you to text him, he would not have replied or would have replied saying don't text me again.

Or maybe he did not know what to say or what to do, or what you meant after the first text. But after the second text, it made it easier for him to answer. Or maybe he just did not want to get too serious again. In your second text you diffused the relationship possibility, so that stopped him from thinking you maybe stalking him. That's a lot of possibilities and you could take your pick between those options. But in general if he did not want to know you, he would have either told you, or not bothered to text you again.