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enlightened on 27/10/2006
My dilemma, if you are able and kind
enough to help me is this:
I really like this man that for a
long time, used to mock me with his other friends and I just used to
ignore it. I am an educated, emotionally intelligent and Ingrid Bergman
attractive although with sophia loren eyes, so I am pretty attractive
physically, though have naturally large breasts I am very self-conscious
of but show with confidence to the man I like.
Large breasts tend to be a
distraction for men, you want him looking into your eyes most of the
time, not at your breasts. Yes, it is good for him to have a sneaky
look at your breasts every now and then, but you don't want him focused
on them all the time. If you want to have a more positive affect on
men, try to make your breasts look smaller, so he still likes the look of
them but is not constantly thinking "look at the size of those
beauties".
I am pretty sure he likes me and we
seem to glare at each other quite a lot. I do anything he generally asks
of for a favour and we stick up for each other when we need. There is a
lot of positive body language.
Good, it seems he has some sort of
interest in you.
However, he has tried quite a few
times to get his friends interested in me too and they have tried to
cross boundaries with me I have been assertive and never allowed either
myself or them to come near me when clearly and my love-interest knows
that I have never fancied his friends in the slightest (they are
builders).
This, seems a bit suspicous to
me. Why would he fancy you, yet try to get his friends
interested in you. It seems like a game is being played here.
Men don't like any competition to get too close to the women they
fancy. Whilst he would be proud that lots of other men would fancy
his woman, he wouldn't actively try and tout for competition.
Sounds as though they are playing a game of "see if we can get this
woman into bed, and maybe even see how many of us can get her to have sex
with us".
One of his friends got my number
from him one night and kept texting me. I only knew him from when I used
to live in another house he did some painting there but there was never
any indication that he liked me. Then this night, called me up out of the
blue and said he was coming to have sex with me!
Absolute sicko, he and possibly
all the others are using you as a sex object or game. You just
don't say anything at all like that to a lady you fancy. In fact I
personally wouldn't be sick enough to say that to a woman I didn't fancy
either. It is just plain creepy. I know guys hear a lot, that
women like assertive, pushy, bad boy men. I don't know how true
this is, because I'm not a woman, but this guy is definitely going too
far.
I was so shocked by his saying this
that I kind of was engaging in the conversation to ascertain if my
love-interest had gotten him to do this and why?
If he did, then he is a sicko
too. But this kind of defies belief. Maybe this has worked
for other women in the past. But to me, this is just disgusting
behaviour.
Then he turned up and I had to get
the police out on him for trying to get into the house.
Good job you got the police,
because he sounds like a sex pest.
I never spoke to the guy I like
about this and felt that I had dealt with the situation very well and
didn't want to make any assumptions.
It's right not to make
assumptions. But the way I see it is, this guy associates with
idiots and even if he was going out with you, would still be associating
with the same idiots. In my opinion, you should stay well away from
all of them, including the guy you fancy. It doesn't sound as
though he values you that much anyway and if he can't keep his creepy
friends away from you, I don't see the point in going out with him.
But this guy I like is so different
when he comes to fix something in the house I rent a room and has grown
to be more interested in me and flirts a great deal but we never do more
than this.
It maybe that this guy is a good
apple, that associates with a load of bad apples. Nevertheless he
will have to find some better friends before he goes out with a woman
like you. Or else ditch his friends and concentrate on you.
If you give him access to your room, it's a wonder he hasn't pushed you
into having sex with him yet.
I don't know what he is thinking and
if he sits in the pub with his friends laughing and joking about my
breasts that have been a topic of converstaion before with him and his
friends and him trying to get them interested in me, it just all seems so
bizzarre.
You have hit the exact situation
with big breasts. Big breasts are a source of fun for men.
They typically say the same old boring thing over and over again when
they see a woman with large breasts ("look at the size of
them", "look at the melons on her", "I wouldn't mind
sucking on them" etc.). Big breasts attract a blokes attention
everytime, particularly if he is with a group of men. It's not
necessarily a good thing for women, because it immediately puts sex into
a blokes mind rather than what you really want, which is a guy that
thinks you might be a long term relationship potential. Of course,
some women with big boobs, might want oversexed bloke trying to get off
with them all the time (again that I don't know because I'm not a woman
and certainly don't have big boobs).
I really do like this man but am
worried that his friend had told him that I led him on and got the police
out when he turned up.
I wouldn't worry what his friend
has said. If he fancies you and knows how much of an idiot his
friend is, I don't think that matters. Moreover, if he fancies you,
he should have given his friend a serious talking to.
I wasn't trying to do this at all, I
just was taken aback by the call and content and was wanting to know how
on earth he had gotten my number and subtedly wanted to get to the bottom
of it and kept asking if my love interest was there with him as they do
go out drinking together. He had apparently gone home but the friend had
told me that he got my number from john
(changed the name for privacy purposes).
Now it appears as if perhaps, I had
in some way led him on? - I shouted at him to go home to his wife several
times in the phone dialouge and was assertive about where I stood. My
love interest doesn't seem changed by it but that I find myself not
knowing whether his own intentions towards me are sincere at this stage?
You did the right thing, and I'm
sure most women reading this web page will agree you did the right thing
by calling the police. You shouldn't give a stuff about what the
guy you fancy thinks, you needed protection at that point, it could have
turned out far worse.
We aren't even dating, but the
attraction is just evolving and getting more stronger each time he comes
around to mend something at the request of the landlord. He trembles and
goes red around me and asks me about me as if he is sincere and he often
runs up to me unexpectedly and just stops and glares into my face in a
frozen stare and beams and smiles intensley the rest of the time.
It sounds as though he is quite
nervous around ladies, and definitely not as assertive as his friends
(thank goodness). The fact that he hasn't forced you into having
sex or making a move, when he has exclusive access to you in your own
house, is a good thing. Whether he fancies you properly or whether
he sees you as a sex object, like his friends, I can't really
answer. Much of what I have said in my replies have been negative
about him and his friends, so I would be more inclined to believe this
guys interest in you is more sexual, than interested in any relationship.
He is just a little more nervous and subtle about demonstrating than his
friends are.
It maybe that he is just
embarrassed by the way his friends treat you, and lets face it, he
could probably defend you from one man, but certainly couldn't defend you
from a whole group of his friends. He would just be fighting a
losing battle there. I somehow doubt that he is trying to get his
friends interested in you, it just doesn't seem logical for a bloke to do
that.
am I being made a joke of or is he
really interested?
It is not often, I say this, but
I'm not sure in this case. On the one hand it sounds as though you
have found a genuine guy, in amongst a bunch of idiots. But I can't
say for sure whether this guy would turn out to be the same, if you got
to know him.
"Woman, big boobs, his
friends have had no luck, it would be a good catch, if he managed to get
with you".
My conclusion would be to find
another man. This guy associates with idiots and those idiots are
likely to continue to hassle you, even if he is going out with you.
I can't ascertain whether he really does fancy you. Or whether he
is just a nervous version of them, that wants the sex as well. It
does seem like a game or competition of who can get with this buxom
babe. Though there is also a hint that he fancies you. But to
me a hint is not good enough.
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