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girlywoo  on  01/03/2006

I have just read ur piece on "Why do men act like they do?" and found it very helpful especially the bit on mirroring! but i find myself doing this neway to people i have no attraction to wotsoeva!

That's the thing I always emphasize in my articles, and that is one indicator is not conclusive but several indicators together is conclusive.  Therefore if you are mirroring that is not conclusive that you fancy someone, because people mirror their friends and colleagues.  But add a few other signals and that is more conclusive message to someone you fancy or someone who fancies you.

I just wanted to ask some advice. I have a strong attraction to my seminar teacher at university (he's a PHD student) i have had some signs that he likes me like when i bump into him in corridor he will always stop+ask questions about my work etc. Also he stares at me a lot in class...but then i dont know if he actually does or whetha i fink he does bcos i want to think that!!

When you are a lecturer you need to give your students eye contact to keep their attention and make sure they are paying attention to what you are saying, plus there is nowhere else to look and it would make a lecturer nervous if he was completely avoiding eye contact with his students.  Therefore this is not conclusive.  It of course depends on how he looks at you, is he looking at you adoringly.

Im worried that he only looks at me bcos he can tell i fancy him, but i fink ive made it more obvious today that i fancy him, by not even lookin at him once!!and avoidin his glance.

Sorry but why would you possibly be worried about that, you fancy him, so why not look at him.  I just don't see the sense in worrying about things like that.  You do what you want to do, he should do what he wants to do, it is as simple as that.

I dont know wot to do!i would neva ask him out whilst he was my teacher but lessons finish in 3 wks and even after that i would neva have the guts mainly bcos rejection and the fact hes got that little bit of status being a tea! cher that it would be embarrasing to ask him out in the first place! any advice on what i should do?

He maybe a teacher, but he is also a human, if you spend your life thinking people have more status than you, you are not going to get very far.

Do you know anything more about him? He asks you questions about your work, so why shouldn't you ask him slightly more personal questions.  The way to work these things is to keep getting to know people even more.  Until you get to the point where one of you cracks and either asks the other one out directly or you end up hinting at it so obviously.

The first time i met him personally he cracked a few jokes etc, the first thing he said was a joke. 

Yes, so he was trying to impress you with his jokes.

he looks into my eyes but i dont know wetha thats a sign cos i feel uncomfortable lookin in2 his eyes for a long time!he checked out my tits when he thought i wasnt lookin whilst we were goin thru sum course wrk alone...

Yes, so he is checking out your body, that is a good sign.  I think now you are starting to get into conclusive territory.

but he's a man and prob does this 2 every girl!

True, if a man sees a nice pair of tits, he will look at them, whether they are on a beauty or not.

In class the otha day a girl was givin a presentation so all eyes were on her, i looked up and he was looking at me,

Yes, that really is a good sign, someone else is speaking yet he can't keep his eyes off you.

he carried on lookin at me even after i looked up at him but i quickly looked away nervously.

Yes, he shouldn't give someone too much eye contact because it becomes intimidating.

You make not take the last point as a sign but i just found it wierd that he was looking at me when it was not necessary cos i wasnt talkin.

Yes, your right, I think he fancies you in some way.


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