this is continued from " He seemed keen now he's avoiding eye contact and hardly talks to me."

The Saga Continues !

It's me again with my drawn-out love drama, but I can't help it cos I really like him but we are both coy!

Ah women, love to create a drama.  Men like to keep things simple.

After the summer break and going back to uni at first things were really awkward. He was looking at me and I couldn't even look at him because the whole summer break I was thinking about him and I felt soooo nervous around him!  One of my friends said that he was giving me big beaming smiles and I would not even see them!

If several of your friends have noticed, it must be significant.

After I finally acknowledged him he has started to come and sit with me at lunch and talk to me briefly but its hard to talk as others are there.

Ah, so my advice has paid off.  You have "played it cool" with him (even if it wasn't deliberate) and now he has wondered what the hell is going on and started to acquire an interest in you again.

One time he came and sat with me and we were alone. He gave me a compliment about my hair and said, I noticed you had it done about 3 weeks ago and it really suits you (He doesnt really go around saying things like that as he's not really the "smooth" type!)

He's been observant, that's good and he has taken the time to note you had your hair done and actually tell you he likes it.  Maybe he wouldn't mind running his fingers through it.

He has also started giving me eye contact. It was a bug-bear with me in the past that he didn't give me any eye contact and one time in uni I got my mate to ask me questions about what really bugs me in a man and I said "when a man can't look me in the eye, cos I can't trust him !" Since then he has made a dramatic improvement in this area!

Very cunning and not even I thought of that idea.

Then just as I thought things were going well, him making an effort to sit with me, the eye-contact, the compliment, he said that he went on a date at the weekend with an "absolutely stunning girl,"

This again suggests he is trying to make you jealous, and indicate that he can attract super stunning women, so he is no pushover.  Women tend to go for men that are popular, particulalry ones that are popular with stunning women.  So to build up their reputation men will go around spreading all sorts of rumours about their reputation for dating stunning women.

I asked if he would be seeing her again and he said that he would, I said " that's okay I can always hire a hit-man to make her mysteriously dissappear,

You said that? It should have been quite obvious you fancy him from that comment.

and he seemed to ponder this! ( !  it's okay don't get scared, im just that kind of jokey person !)

Then, on the next breath, he said that he wanted to get back with his ex ( the one he had mentioned to me before when he said he would have her back if she wants to come back to him) I said that I could not understand why he wants to get back with his ex because he knew that the relationship was going downhill and he didnt try to do anything to "save" it. He admitted this was true but said that he loves her and if he sees her in the street he will tell her that he loves her. ( Even though when he was with her he couldn't take his eyes off me !)

Talking about your ex, is not something that guys usually do with women they fancy, at least not guys that are in the know.  Unless he is under the delusion that if he talks about his ex and his hopes of getting back with her, that he is somehow enhancing his reputation further. In general the last thing a bloke should do when he fancies a woman is to start talking about their ex and even worse saying that he wants to get back with her.  This kind of pushes you into friend territory with him.  Though judging by the way some men think, they probably won't understand that talking about your ex is a bad thing.

He then asked me what had happened in my last couple of relationships that had made me so happily single (or relationship - avoidant !) and asked if I had been hurt. I said that I didn't want to talk about it. He has asked me this before and I get the impression that he thinks I've been hurt badly or I want my ex back so him talking about wanting his ex back might make!
me admit  I want mine back ( but I dont want my ex back, but have been hurt in the past!)

Just as I thought you'd moved into friend territory, he starts trying to get more information about your availability and past.  This guy is confusing.  He is maybe trying to get information out of you about your past, so he can check out whether you have any emotional bagage or bad bloke stories, that you feel vengeful about or to find out how many blokes you've been with.  But then again he could be discussing all this in just polite conversation and seeing you as a friend who he can let off steam with about his past and he wants you to do the same.

Then he moved onto general stuff like what his normal weekend consists of and asked me what I did at the weekend.

Also when I was at uni I was hanging around with a guy who is unpopular cos he is a big mouth. I think he may think we are together because we were spending quite a bit of time together. Something really random happened, my love-interests best friend came up to me and said,"don't you think that ( lets call him lee !) lee is an idiot?" I don't even normally talk to his best mate!

That is very strange, I'm sure he put his friend up to saying that.  He maybe didn't want to say it himself because it would make him look jealous.  Nevertheless if this other guy (Lee) was a tough guy, he wouldn't want to be trying it on with you, if you were going out with Lee.

My friends say that he likes me but because I've rejected him so many times he is just treading carefully and trying to get me jealous by mentioning other girls, " testing the waters," if you like. 

That's the feeling I get as well.  The only strange thing that dissuades me from that conclusion is mentioning his ex all the time and how he wants to get back with her.  It doesn't exactly demonstrate a bloke that is wanting to get with you and keep you in a long term relationship, when he says he will get back with his ex for definite if he has the chance.

I also tested the waters by mentioning to him that I liked this guy who was much older than me, he said that's disgusting, he went red and changed the subject quickly!

You wouldn't normally go red if a friend was saying that.  Going red suggests jealously in this case.

Also my friends say that because I'm a joker even if I have dropped a few hints that I like him he probably wouldn't take them seriously as with me its likely to be just another of my many jokes in the day!

Got to admit, that yes if you are constantly telling jokes all the time, then it is hard to tell whether you are being serious or sarcastic.  Also a woman that is funny and tells jokes all the time is likely to be a good laugh, which makes her friend potential.  But that's not to say that a guy wouldn't find a funny woman attractive.  Because guys look for the following in a long term relationship potential:

• whether they are good looking
• whether they can get on well
• whether she is entertaining (because he could be spending the rest of his life with her, he doesn't want a bore)
• what she wears
• is she popular with other people
• how many blokes she has been with in the past (he is unlikely to find out the real amount from any woman, but he'll try and get an idea)
• and more

Do you think he likes me, or just wants to be friends ?

There are a lot of things that suggest he fancies you:

• You suggested he seemed nervous around you (would you be nervous around someone you just wanted to be friends with, no)
• Turning bright red when a woman suggests she fancies someone else (would you do this if you just wanted to be friends with someone, no)
• why did he suddenly raise an interest in you again when you were being cold with him?
• why look at you and smile at you, why wouldn't he look at your friends and smile at them instead? (because you look at things you find attractive)
• why start to give you eye contact straight after he heard you talking about men giving eye contact?
• why give you eye contact AND a compliment?
• why would you friends get the feeling that he fancies you?
• why would one of his friends approach you to warn you this othe guy called Lee?
• why not try and be friends with some of your friends as well, why just you?

The only few things that confuse me, is why does he talk about his ex and his wish to get back with her.  This is just simply weird.  Would this make a woman jealous or would she think what a desperate case, can't get over his ex and desperately wants to get back with her, and she must have dumped him.  It's the last thing I'd want to discuss with a woman I fancied.  Then you've got to wonder why he hasn't made a move on you already (unless he really didn't think carefully about what you said when you said "that's okay I can always hire a hit-man to make her mysteriously dissappear".  That is just blatantly obvious, though I have got to admit, men very rarely analyse what women say and when they do they usually come to the wrong conclusion, so maybe he is just being a thick bloke.

Most of what you say tends to sway towards the fact that he fancies you.  But why he hasn't made a move already, really confuses me and why he keeps going on about his ex, like he can't get over her makes me a bit suspicious. 

Nevertheless it seems that your relationship is now progressing (from the silent glances to conversation) and hopefully it will progress enough for you both to decide whether you want a long term relationship from each other or whether the relationship involves being friends.

Click here to Ask Sam some questions