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isabelle27 on 06/11/2006
I really like this boy in my
college. Loads of other girls find him attractive and he's really
popular. The thing is, i think he likes me. Sometimes i catch him looking
at me in the lesson.
If your attractive and shy,
sometimes a man see's you as difficult to approach. You therefore
become a challenge. He wants an attractive woman, he wants a woman
that will worship him and will be faithful. The other women may be
attractive but they are probably not shy and therefore probably wouldn't give
him as much respect and probably wouldn't be that faithful.
Catching him looking at you, is a
start, but it is definitely not conclusive. You have got to
decipher the way he is looking at you, is he looking at you adoringly or
is he day dreaming and his eyes are wandering around the room.
One time we spoke briefly and he was
really nice.
That's a sort of test the water
situation, a brief dip in the water then retreat. I am sure you
will chat more, particularly if you both enjoyed the chat. Men,
tend to presume women don't really want to talk to them, so they are very
cautious about approaching a woman too much at first. It is only
once they are comfortable in the knowledge that you don't mind chatting
to him, that he will start chatting to you more. Men are not very
good at picking up body language or judging whether a woman wants to talk
to them or not. The brave, confident and arrogant men, don't
give a toss and just approach a woman all the time and presume they want
to talk to them. Most men however presume that a woman needs some
space and doesn't want to talk to him that much, and that he needs to
take things slowly otherwise he will appear like a stalker.
Also sometimes in lesson we look at
each other and smile. I'm the type of person who rarely or never smiles
so its genuine. Im just a bit shy and would love to get to know him
better. Any tips?
You are taking the right steps
already. A smile, is a friendly gesture and a friendly invitation
that you don't mind him approaching you. All that I can say to you
really is relax when he is around, don't show any signs that you want him
to sling his hook, when he is talking to you. Never say to him, I
will have to go because that suggests he's boring you and you don't want
to speak to him. If you do have to go somewhere, say to him, can I
catch you later because I have to go to the shop for example. Then
you are saying to him you have to go, but not because you are sick of
him.
At this stage of knowing him, I
don't think anything is really going wrong. He has looked at you
across the room, you have smiled back and you have had a brief
conversation. The next step is to get into a position where you can
have more frequent conversations and then beyond that have longer
conversations. Those opportunities will come with time and try not
to shy away from them.
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