Sam's Response

Hi Jenny

First of all I am sure that you are not hopeless with men if you have been going out with one for 6 years. You just need a bit of practice and a bit of confidence, for women this tends to come naturally.

Well this seems like very odd behaviour from him. I personally would never invite a lady I had just met to my workplace. It is not an ideal place for either the man (who is meant to be working) or the lady (who has come to get the undivided attention of a man). Was he drunk when he asked you? Men are prone to make silly requests when they are drunk.

As for his avoidance the second time you saw him. Was he working, while he was avoiding you? Was it busy at his workplace? If so, then this would explain it, he was too busy to pay much attention to you.

However I think you want a few more possible explanations. So here are the occasions when I would react in this way:

1) If I really fancied the woman, I would only avoid the woman if I was tired. When I am tired, I am no fun at all to be with. For that reason I tend to avoid a woman that I fancy, particularly if we have just met and I don't want to give a bad impression.

2) You may have done something to creep him out or embarrass him when you met at his workplace. You may neglect to see what could of creeped him out because men are sensitive to different things to women and men rarely say if something creeped them out. It could have been an overly possesive behaviour or over possessive language. For example saying "where are you going to take me on a date?" A fine question if you have been going out for a few weeks but very creepy and presumptive if he has not actually said he wanted to go out with you.

3) He could have been playing hard to get. Women tend to give men the flick if they act overkeen. So what some men do, is go cold on a woman and see what her reaction is. This tends to intrigue the woman, as it has done in your case. But then the man usually responds again if you then see them another time. Playing hard to get is quite a frustrating game that both men and women play, sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't.

4) Since you saw him at his workplace, he may have found another woman. If he has, then he will lose interest in the majority of other women he knows.

5) He does not fancy you anymore. Maybe you looked too desperate or screamed out potential stalker to him.

6)He thought you gave off some negative vibes that you did not fancy him. He therefore sees little point in pursuing you any further. If he is not going to get any relationship then there is little point in talking to you.

7) A lot of women say a man was avoiding them. When really it was her body language and lack of proximity to him that meant he avoided her. Did he try his best to avoid you? Or were you giving him little chance to let him approach you? Did you make any effort to approach him?

I can not answer which of the above is the correct answer because I was not there. But hopefully you can choose a clear answer from the above based on your experience of the situation.

My recommendation is to see him again and make yourself approachable and see what his reaction is. You can't possibly draw a conclusion from one bad incident. However if he avoids you again then move on, there are plenty more men out there.

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