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londonerF on 19/02/2006
A colleague (now ex colleague actually)
and I have become friends for over a year now, well I think we are
friends, but it is really confusing at time.
He is what one can call a real alpha
male, married, and having an affair... He can be rude, nice, obnoxious,
sweet... anything really... but weirdly we have become somehow close.
Sounds like a slimey cheat.
He was the one starting provoking me at
work, joking, etc... That is how we started talking to each
other...mostly on msn, or via text... We spend hours chatting, I confide
in him, and he does too, telling me all about his dark secrets as he
calls them, and more mundane things.
It has always been very clear that there
will never be anything between us, as he is married and he knows what I
think about affairs...I have always brushed him off when he has been
making silly remarks...
I know he likes me because I am funny,
have high standards regarding respecting other people, I guess he might
think I am a bit challenging as well, I am not sure, and I am pretty sure
he does not fancy me, which helps.
He has this image of me as being rather
inexperienced immature, and naive, which I am not, Just because I always
want to see the good in others, and help if I can. He also thinks that my
having created my little world, my very own little circle with the people
for whom I really care and who really care for me, in which everything is
as nice and uncomplicated as possible, is a way to escape reality, which
is not true... When I say I cannot cope with some things, that it is too
complicated for me, that it is wrong, because they go against what I
believe in (like respecting people, him cheating, being caught and acting
if he did not care how much his wife could be distressed by it, saying
that it is life!!!)... His favourite expression is "stop the world,
I want to jump"...
Anyway, I really like him and appreciate
our friendship, but I feel he is really hard sometimes. We are supposed
to be friends, but I feel he is not being completely honest, and even
tries to treat me the way he treats the women he chats up and are happy
to sleep with him...
Am I one of them???
I am genuine with him, I enjoy talking to
him, his advises, the fact he confines in me, that I can tell him
everything, and he let me tell him what I think about what he does (not
very nice things really!)That he enjoys talking to me for hours, when I
am sure he could do better things, like work for example!...
But I also find his way to put me down at
times, saying that I am a twat, that if everybody were like me (trying to
be honest with myself and others) there would be a nuclear war...and
worse!!!... Really hard.
What does he want from me, is he just
playing?
I adopted him in my little circle of
people for whom I care, because I really like him a lot... I do not mind
putting up with him being hard at times, if he is sincere.
But I am not willing to carry on if it is
just for him to get a kick out of it, as for me it is disturbing,
complicated and hard work at times.
If you see him as a friend, treat him as a
friend. There is no need for it to go beyond that. He sounds
like a bit of idiot to me, with his head up his own arse. But he
also sounds like a very unique guy, even though it is unique in a bad
way. So that might be entertaining because he is different to many
people.
Trust your instincts, if you like him,
then be friends with him, if you get bad vibes, ditch him. From
your description he sounds like a really distasteful man to me.
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