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lostbylove on 04/02/2006
I am very confused.
I've been really attracted to a guy for a
long time but we have known each other only for a few weeks (I've only
just plucked up the courage to speak to him). One day we were talking and
he told me about a social event occuring that night. He asked me if I was
going and when I said "yes" he turned to my friends and said
"hey, we should all go together tonight. It will be fun."
Taking this as a positive sign I went along. We got to talking and he
told me I was a very nice girl and he felt like he could trust me.
Eventually, as he got more and more
drunk, he admitted to me that he was still in love with his ex. Now he
won't look me in the eye let alone speak to me. What does this mean?
Reply by Sam
He obviously fancies you
in some way, to actually go out of his way to say "you were a very
nice girl and he felt he could trust you". This guy knows how
to win a woman's heart and get her hooked by making warm statements like
this.
But the truth comes out
when people are drunk. They lose the ability to control what they
say and often say what they are thinking as well as talk complete rubbish
in between. This guy has given you a warning that he is still in
love with his ex. And to me that warning should result in you
staying well away from this one. Why he decided to say this I don't
know. Because he thought he might make you jealous and want him
more, knowing there was another woman in the picture. Because he
was drunk and the truth came out. Because he knows that honesty is
the best policy with women and that you would have found out anyway, and
that if he is honest with you now, you will almost expect him to go back
to his ex after a bit of a fling with you and he won't feel as guilty
because he warned you.
He is obviously a player
based on the statement he made earlier that he liked you and could trust
you. That statement in isolation would demonstrate a warm, caring
man, but what makes me think he is a player is by later saying he is
still in love with his ex. So he was almost trying to deceive you
earlier, get you hooked, by making a nice statement. Once hooked he
demonstrates the reality of the situation.
That reality is .... He
fancies you or fancies a shag from you but he might end up going back to
his ex. This is the type of guy you want to avoid, he is the type
who will always be sucking women in and being unfaithful to whoever he is
going out with. He wants to have several pieces of cake at a time
and be eating all of them. He wants women in reserve, so that when
one goes he can move onto the next and then later move back to his ex,
convincing her that he has changed.
Of course it is also
possible that he has changed his mind about fancying you, and
decided to throw in something bad to dissuade you from pursuing him
further. But I don't see the point in doing this, it is more likely
he was drunk and the truth came out about his player attitude to
women. And that is emphasized by the fact he no longer gives you
eye contact or speaks to you.
It may also be that he
fancied you, but later decided he is not over his ex yet and therefore
did not want to get involved with you. So it may not be a sinister
plot on his part, that is a possibility also.
It maybe that when he is
desperate for a shag, he will come out of the cold and start pursuing you
again. It may be that he is just going through a cold period to get
you hooked and intrigued why he is not paying you any attention. It
maybe that he has worked out that he is not going to get anything out of
you, so given you up as a lost cause. It maybe that he thinks you
don't fancy him anymore. It maybe that there was nothing sinsister
about this situation and he was just saying I'm not ready for a
relationship yet, but will get back to you when I am. That's a lot
of maybe's but I don't know a definite answer.
Conclusion: Player, stay
well away from him. Because he will try to suck you into his lair
and then spit you out when the next woman comes along. Only to try
his luck with you again when he is has no women on the go.
There is a chance that he
may not be player and he was just trying to warn you off because he is
not ready for relationship with anyone else, but in general most men tend
to move onto their next relationship, even before they are over their
ex. Because why turn down someone you fancy?
Click
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