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marion74 on 11/09/2006
I am not sure if a guy I work with
is a really nice guy and fancies me or just a really nice guy being
friendly-
we sit opposite each other and chat
a lot- he asks most days what did you do last night, at the weekend- what
are you doing at the weekend etc. he has asked about my family, places I
want to go etc. He has gotten Sex into the conversation a couple of
times- as have I
It sounds as though you have got
some mutual conversations going. I would say, that if he doesn't
fancy you, it is only a matter of time before you build up so much
rapport with each other, that he would have to at least start to fancy
you. In general guys don't engage in idle conversation, unless they
know they are going to get something out of it. The only time guys
get into idle conversation is if they are stuck in the staff room and the
silence is just too much for them to bear. So they make
conversation to break the silence. But to actually have a
conversation with someone for a long period of time and a variety of
different subjects it kind of builds up a rapport.
It's very difficulty getting a
good conversation out of a bloke. Even if he didn't fancy you at
first, if you have enough meaningful conversations out of him, the
rapport can start to build up, and he can start to think, this lady
really is something. Men don't find it easy making conversations,
nor do most men find it interesting to make a conversation. So if
women manage to force a bloke into a conversation and actually get them
to enjoy a conversation, it makes a man take serious notice of the
woman.
Most men get used to trying to
make a conversation with a woman, only to be either told, get lost loser
or to find that their conversation doesn't interest the woman at all or
find that they are interrupted by other women who constantly butt in on
conversations.
We have been out on site for most of
the past week- just he and I in a car at various seaside locations for
work- In the car- chat is easy, i make him laugh and he makes me laugh
Laughing is good, and spending so
much time with each other is good, especially seem as though spending
time with each other seems to be fun for both of you.
If I mention a bloke friend he is
quick to ask who is he etc
Yes, I think you can safely say he
is interested in you, pure jealously or making sure you are not seeing
anyone, which increases his chances.
I've also caught him looking down my
top a couple of times- all positive or so it seems-
Yes, it seems he wants a closer
look at what's down your top. As long as he gives you some eye
contact as well (because if he doesn't give you some good eye contact,
then he might only be interested in what you have in your top).
I texted him a couple of times after
our days out- just funny observations but he didnt reply, or even
acknowledge that I sent them- he mentioned the last one but looked
surprised that I'd texted him- I took that as a very bad sign and that he
was just being friendly before
No, that is not really a good sign.
But women need to be careful that they do not get too close, too
soon. Like making possessive comments or making emotional or
feelings statements.
we work together- same grade, and I
organise the work night outs so I've organised a few- the last one I was
sick and he noticed I had gone before other people and asked about me and
told me he'd asked where I was. At the first night out he stood beside me
for most of the night and a mutual friend told him there was a spare seat
beside him but he said he was ok where he was.
It seems that he is very attached
to you and enjoys being with you and is comfortable with you.
Whenever I go to conferences I like to stick with the people I get on
well with most. He obviously wanted to stick with you, either because
he got on with you better or because he didn't want you to be sat on your
own.
At another I looked up and he was
looking at me and I know what he is talking about most of the time
without him saying much. another time we were chatting and neither of us had
noticed that a colleague had moved to sit beside us and had been watching
us for 5 minutes before I noticed. He gets a bit embarassed sometimes too
and remembers what I have said in previous conversations etc and asks me
lots of questions
It seems you are almost like a
married couple that know each others thoughts and preferences, which is a
good sign.
he has however started more about
himself- pointed out where his relations live etc when we were out onsite
and was telling me about when he was at school..
Men, find it easier to talk about
themselves, but very difficult to ask the right questions to women, and
most of all find it very difficult to listen to women. Particularly
as women tend to talk about 8 different topics in one paragraph (a man
can't multi-task, so he can only focus on one topic of conversation
at a time).
I had thought something would have
happened by now so dont know whether he thinks of me as more than a work
colleague-
It's true if he is shy or a nice
guy (that doesn't use women for sex) and values your friendship, that he
probably would find it difficult to make a move. But men also value
their jobs a lot aswell. And having relationships with work
colleagues is classed as very risky. Do you risk having a
relationship with a work colleague only to find that you could lose your
job or make it very uncomfortable to do your job (if you split up or
have an argument).
You give me a mixture of points
for and against him fancying you. I would say that you need further
evidence before you know whether he fancies you. You need to give
him some tactful indications, that it is ok for him to get closer to
you. If he touches you or moves close to you, make sure you don't
show any signs of moving away or looking uncomfortable. Try to get
touching him, but only infrequently and try to make it look
accidental. You should instinctively know when you have the chance
to touch him. He could be joking about something, when you are sat next
to him in the car, just give him a light tap or stroke of the arm.
Particularly if he is using teasing jokes to wind you up, the light tap
on his arm looks more like a natural instinct that women have.
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