miss-me79 on 26/11/2006
I met this guy two years ago, we met in a bar and he asked me for my number. We then went out for a few drinks. It was a great night and we had a lot in common. I then got a job overseas, he used to send occasional messages but it wasn’t too heavy.
Anyway, when I got back to London he text me and suggested going out. Then we met up last week. He initiated the meeting up. I was fairly nervous but we got on really well.
He remembered a lot of my interests and we spoke a lot about my work, he seemed genuinely interested in my life. He told me a lot about his life and his work, travels, etc. He asked me a lot of questions about where I’m planning to go next…
You sound as though you both have a good rapport and similar interests, which is always good potential for a long term relationship.
When we walked to the bus stop he asked me if I wanted to go for one more drink, I said no because it was the last bus.
That could have been seen as a brush off, as if you didn't really enjoy the night and couldn't wait to get away. After all, depending on where you live, you could have got a taxi home. Certainly any women I've been out with have always been keen to go on elsewhere, I think if they had refused to go elsewhere I would have presumed they weren't that interested in seeing me again.
When I got on the bus he said take care, and to let him know I got home ok. He didn't say "see you soon" or to arrange another meeting. What do you think?
Did you let him know you got home ok? If you didn't let him know that you got home and that you had a good time with him, that would have confirmed in his mind you were not interested.
When we met up the body language was good, and he gave me the look up and down when we said hello.
Good, the look up and down confirms that he is not just interested in looking at your face, but is checking out your body as well. People who are friends tend to focus on each others face. People who are attracted to each other tend to look further down the body (anywhere below the lips).
There is definitely a spark and a lot of chemistry…
He’s studying part time as well as working full time and he said to me that his mother has recently been ill.
I don't want to ask him out! But I am keen on seeing him again. Although I don’t want to be labeled as "Friend"…
When guys take women out, I don't think any women gets labelled as friend material. That is more a woman's trait, to label blokes as just friends. So I don't think there is much chance of him labelling you as a friend.
I get the feeling he has a lot going on in his life.
He may have a lot going on in his life, but if you have demonstrated that you are good for him, then he will take notice and want you to be a part of his life. It sounds as though it is only early on for you getting to know each other, so I don't think it is possible for you to of demonstrated to him, how good you are.
I want to be a part of his life – but I don’t want to stalk or suffocate him…
No, you don't want to suffocate him or stalk him. Nor do you want him to forget about you.
Do I just wait for him to contact me? Its been 10 days now…
10 days is not good, the longer it goes on the more likely he will forget about the opportunity of getting with you. The more comfortable he will be with being apart from you and less likely he is to contact you. I think maybe he needs a little reminding that you are still there and that you are interested in at least seeing or speaking to him. So maybe you need to contact him and ask him how he is doing?
I'd appreciate any useful feedback – as I’m unsure what do to next. Or maybe I should let him "be" and wait for him to come back to me. He is definitely worth waiting for…
I think there could be several reasons why this guy hasn't continued to contact you:
- He might have thought you refusing to have another drink with him on your night out was a brush off.
- He might have thought he didn't get any sex or kisses or hugs out of you on the night and therefore you are not interested.
- He might have thought he didn't get any sex out of you and that's all he wanted.
- He might have come to the conclusion that you weren't really the type of woman for him.
- He might have convinced himself you weren't interested and therefore convinced himself that he was better off without you.
- He didn't get to know you enough and thought you weren't really that into him, so didn't see the point in taking it any further.
From what you have said, I would say a combination of 1, 2, 5 and 6 are the most likely options.
I would say contact him and ask him how he is doing. If you don't contact him, I think you will probably miss out.
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