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noooooooddy on 30/10/2006
ive got alot in common with a guy
but im too shy to talk to him in college. whenever he did talk to me
online he was always upbeat and cheerful.
A lot of guys are not good at
verbal communication with women. Usually these guys compensate by
being good at written communication with women (like chatting to a lady
by MSN, letter, text or e-mail). It is much easier for a guy
to communicate by MSN, because he doesn't have to immediately read your
body language and understand what you are saying and think of something
to say in reply (too much multi-tasking for a guys bloke to cope
with). In essence, all he needs to do is understand what you are
saying and reply which makes it much simpler for him. He can also
get away with saying something wrong, without the embarrassment of being
face to face with you. In general a guy that finds it difficult to
communicate verbally, will prefer written methods of communication.
Of course that will change when a relationship progresses and he becomes
much more relaxed talking to you.
Often what happens though when you
communicate by these methods, is when you see each other face to
face, you have nothing else to say, or you get a completely different
perspective of what the person is like. For example he might be
joking all the time by MSN, when you meet him face to face he might be
completely serious and quite nervous and cautious when he says something.
whenever he sees me he stares and
cant stop smiling ..
You can't keep your eyes off
someone or something you find attractive. If he stares and smiles
at you all the time, he must like the look of you. I can't stare at
women or anything that I don't find attractive for too long,
all other guys are the same.
whenever i do see him i skip a heart
beat lol.
Yes, those attraction
nerves. It sends blood rushing away from your stomach to other
areas of your body that provide attraction to the opposite sex.
Like your lips which are essential for attraction. So these nerves
actually make you look even more attractive.
but i avoid eye contact and act as
if he's a stranger,
One common thing that women do if
they are attracted to a man (they probably don't notice it), they look at
the guy, make eye contact for a few seconds, then look down, then look
away. In that order, it seems a natural, instinctive thing women do
in the early stages of attraction. You can't exactly stare each other
out, because this would be seen as an aggressive stance. I don't
think you really need to worry about this. It is like your heart
skipping a beat, it is a natural reaction of your body, just go with the
flow of your body.
is his grinning just mocking me ????
I doubt it, I wouldn't grin at
someone I was mocking that much. In fact anyone I would consider
mocking, I would try my best to avoid eye contact with. Grinning
can be nervousness, grinning can be "i don't know what to say, so
I'll grin instead", grinning can be an invitation for you to come
closer, grinning can be sign that he is happy to look at you.
im confused coz i believe it is..
then after that he emails me and asks how i am and stuff..
If he spends his time
e-mailing you, why would he be mocking you? Why would he be
interested in how you are? When you use MSN and send e-mails you
can completely ignore someone. With MSN you can block other users
from seeing you online. If I don't want to speak to a woman that is
what I will do. I wouldn't e-mail a woman asking how they are or
try to engage in any conversation. Avoidance is what blokes will
do, if they are not interested.
i also get stares of his friends who
wouldnt actually look at me normally.
That's his friends, they are
nothing to do with your relationship with him.
It sounds as if you have got a shy
guy here. You both really need to be tackling your phobia of
speaking to each other and being in close proximity to each other.
See this as a challenge, you need to get to know him, in real life, not
just that online person that you chat to. Only when you get to know
him in real life, will you get to know whether you fancy him and whether
there is a potential for a relationship.
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here to Ask Sam some questions
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