Sam's Response

You say: "touching on the arm several times, and once on the back." Men rarely touch women they don't find attractive. Would you touch a man you don't find attractive?

His joking nature emphasizes the fact that he fancies you.

You say "There has been eye contact too" Eye contact alone can mean nothing, but together with the other signs you have told me about, it is conclusive.

You say: "am i mistaking flirting for plain friendliness" No, with men it is black and white. He flirts with someone he fancies and doesn't flirt with anyone he doesn't fancy. He could fancy going out with you, he could just fancy a bit on the side because his wife is not giving him enough.

When men get married, they tend to find that more women find them attractive. As a consequence some men just can't help flirting, because there are so many other women flirting with him. Some men can't resist having affairs with some of those women.

My opinion on the situation, is unless they have split with their wife or tell you they are immensely unhappy with their wife and are thinking about splitting, then stay well away from going out with this type of man.

Having an affair in most cases is bad news for you, because it is more than likely he wants you as a bit on the side, so he will go home to his wife at the end of the day. Plus if he has been unfaithful with one woman, if he does split with his wife and go out with you, he will more than likely be unfaithful to you as well.

Pam's Reply on 08.10.2005

Thanks for the reply there.

It's good to get someone's opinion (in this case a male opinion) from someone impartial (if that's the right word)
I was worried i might be jumping the gun but from what you said. I'll certainly will limit contact with him. Can't actually cut all contact with him unless i move house and change jobs. Which is unlikely at the moment and not really pratical.
But certainly will NOT get involved with him.

Thanks for your imput.

Pam's Reply on 04.11.2005

Yes its me again.

I have been avoiding contact with this man but he lives near me.
Caught the same train last week i didn't see him. And he came and sat with me. He never did that before always choosing a seat further away from me.
He had started talking to me again.
The week before he told me he had seen me earlier and asked if i was avoiding him. Followed by a gentle punch in the arm.

anyway last week while sitting with me he asked about my plans for the weekend (he works weekends i don't). I didn't think much about that. Just friendly banter.
But then he asked if i lived alone. Not if i had a boyfriend or anything. This threw me a little bit.
People i have spoken to have said i should be wary of this guy.

Sam's Reply

Hi Pam.
You said "I have been avoiding contact with this man. And he came and sat with me". He probably detected that you were avoiding contact with him. And was curious as to why. And now is desperate to get back on good terms with you. And desperation means getting on the same train and sitting next to you.

"he asked about my plans for the weekend" Probably as you said, just general conversation, something to talk about. Or it could be that he is trying to work out whether you have found a man, and whether that is why you are avoiding him.

"But then he asked if i lived alone." Scary! Maybe he just worded it wrong. But then again he may be wanting to find out if you have a boyfriend living with you.

"People i have spoken to have said i should be wary of this guy". Judging by what you have told me in the past and what you tell me now, I think they are right, avoid him.

The fact is, he has a wife and a young boy, so he should not be trying to get women on trains to invite him back to their place. Fine if he is divorced or seperated from his wife, but not if he is seeking a bit on the side. If that is really what he is doing!

If he asks what you are doing this weekend again, tell him your boyfriend is taking you out on a mystery date. Hopefully he will get the idea. Try and sit next to someone on the train, so that he can't sit next to you.

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