I really like a guy at my local gym. He is always very smiley and always says hello etc but we havent got much further than that. I sent him a valentines card this year and put my name in - I think he knows it is from me!

My question is, do men like being approached and asked out by a woman?

Sam's Reply

I would say it depends on how long he had known you, the situation and whether he fancies you and whether he has a girlfriend already.

First of all, to ask him out you would have to know him for while.  If you randomly just go up to him and ask him out after not knowing him you will probably shock the hell out of him, and he won't know what to say.  You also need to decipher whether there is a good chance that he fancies you and the only way of doing that is getting to know him.

Second of all, there is the situation.  The situation is, don't ask him out in front of anyone else.  Ask him out in front of other people and he won't know what to say and the other people around him will be a distraction.

If he has a girlfriend already, then it is best not to think about asking him out at all.  If he is happy with that girlfriend then he is not going to give you a positive answer,  if he has got a girlfriend but also wants to go out with you, then he is a two timer and two timers are not worth it, if he has a girlfriend and you know he really does want to get out of that relationship, then you could give him a go.

In general though, I think men are very proud if they get asked out by a woman. You may get a problem with him being gobsmacked and not able to say anything, but don't let this make you feel uneasy, you probably just hasn't been asked out by a woman before, it doesn't mean he doesn't fancy you.  Believe me, if a woman asked me out, I would be gobsmacked, very few women have the guts, they usually make up silly excuses, like it's a man's job.

As for valentines day and valentines cards, I always think of valentine's day as a day for women.  Yes it is a chance for men to ask women out, but in general we don't particularly enjoy the massive fuss caused on valentines day.  It is just another day and we could easily ask someone out on another day of the year.  Let's face it, women expect lots from us on a valentines day,  what can men expect from women, most will whinge that their friends got something better.

Very few men, think of women as desperate, but when it comes to valentines day, women appear extremely desperate.  They are desperate to have a date and desperate to receive the best present from their loved one.  Most men just find the whole thing a bit of big fuss about nothing.

So as for valentines cards, it will be 50-50 whether he liked the fact you sent him a valentines card, but if he fancies you he should be chuffed that you showed an interest in him.