|
puzzled on 12/03/2006
I'm pretty sure I'm right about these,
but just wanted a guy's opinion:
(1) If a guy is interested, he'll always
make a move; if he doesn't, he is not interested. It really is as simple
as this, isn't it?
No it definitely isn't as simple as
this. Most men think very carefully before asking a woman
out. They rate their chances of success for a start. A man
will usually assess:
- whether you are likely to have a
boyfriend or not
- whether you are likely to fancy him
- whether he actually fancies a
relationship at the moment
- if they know you well or spend a lot of
time with you, i.e. he works with you or you are friends with his
friends. He will generally think more carefully before asking you
out. In these situations it could prove more embarrassing. If
he asks you out and you say no, all his colleagues and friends are likely
to find out, which is embarrassing for him. And if other women find
out he has been turned down, they will find him less attractive. If
he goes out with you and it doesn't work out, then their might be a
bitter war between you both, if he works with you or spends nights out
with you, he doesn't want a bitter war to be happening all the
time. So in general if you spend quite a bit of time with him, he
will think long and hard before asking you out.
- then some blokes find it really
difficult to ask women out, they are scared of rejection and get very
embarrassed with the prospect of asking some out. They need to find
the correct time and the correct place to ask someone out. It is
not an easy thing to do. Sometimes men go to ask a woman out and something
the woman says or something that happens when he is about to ask you out,
will change the situation and he will quickly withdraw just before asking
you out.
- And women tend to play games, where they
seem keen to go out with you at one point, then all of a sudden they go
cold, then they appear keen again all of a sudden. This confuses
blokes.
In conclusion, unless he is a super
confident, super good looking guy, he will think very carefully before
asking you out.
There's no need to find an excuse for him
not calling, not asking you out, not doing this and that.
Generally you will get an idea of whether
he fancies you, by what he says and does. Most men find it very
difficult communicating and can't think of things to say, so it should be
the woman that takes the lead communication wise. I would have to
say though, if he stops contacting you or is persistently short with his
answers, then he might not be interested. Quite a few men don't
want to appear like stalkers and therefore can seem quite cold and
uninterested in the early stages of a relationship, this is particularly
when the woman needs to take the lead in communicating with him.
You will also find that if you send him a
stroppy text or have a stroppy conversation with him, he will just
completely avoid you. Most men hate confrontations with women,
women are better communicators than them so generally win and women
generally make the confrontation last as long as possible, or so it seems
from a blokes point of view. Men are better at winning physical
battles but they can't have physicals battles with a woman.
(2) Guys who go clubbing are not
relationship material.
There are many problems with clubbing,
most of the problems are for women. Yes, there are a lot of men in
the club who are just interested in a shag, without a relationship.
But I wouldn't say that all men in a nightclub are not relationship
material.
I think there is many things about
nightclubs that make it so difficult to find the man of your dreams:
- You can't have a conversation, because
you can't hear a word anyone says for the loud music. Even if you
find a quiet area, you still have the problem that your ears have
probably gone numb due to the loud music. This means you don't get
to know the bloke very well and he doesn't get to know you well.
This leads both you and him to making the wrong decisions about you being
compatible. This suits the man more, because he is more likely to
be just interested in sex, and he is not as good at communicating, so he
is less likely to need to communicate in a nightclub.
- Either you or him or both of you will
have had at least some alcohol. Alcohol clouds your
judgements. It makes you go for blokes you would have never
considered, you end up making mistakes, like having sex with a bloke you
really could not have a long term relationship with.
- In general though, I would say that
nightclubs are neither the best place to meet a bloke, nor are they the
best place for picking up blokes who want a long term relationship.
You need to get to know a bloke a lot more before you decide whether they
are relationship material. A nightclub gives you chance to meet a
bloke, but you should always opt for a date somewhere quieter before you
decide whether you are relationship material.
- Finding the right bloke for you is not
easy. There are so many barriers in the way. Is he
single? Do you fancy him? Does he fancy you? Will the right
opportunity come, to ask you out? When you go out will you like
him? When you go out will he like you? Then after a while of going
out, will you end up being happy or unhappy? People are very fussy
nowadays, because people see too many movies and watch too many soaps and
think they want a life like that movie or soap, in reality real life is
not like that, but it puts those expectations into peoples minds.
There are a lot of hoops to jump through before you find the person you
want to spend the rest of your life with.
Click
here to Ask Sam some questions
|
