I'm pretty sure I'm right about these, but just wanted a guy's opinion:
(1) If a guy is interested, he'll always make a move; if he doesn't, he is not interested. It really is as simple as this, isn't it?
No it definitely isn't as simple as this. Most men think very carefully before asking a woman out. They rate their chances of success for a start. A man will usually assess:
- whether you are likely to have a boyfriend or not
- whether you are likely to fancy him
- whether he actually fancies a relationship at the moment
- if they know you well or spend a lot of time with you, i.e. he works with you or you are friends with his friends. He will generally think more carefully before asking you out. In these situations it could prove more embarrassing. If he asks you out and you say no, all his colleagues and friends are likely to find out, which is embarrassing for him. And if other women find out he has been turned down, they will find him less attractive. If he goes out with you and it doesn't work out, then their might be a bitter war between you both, if he works with you or spends nights out with you, he doesn't want a bitter war to be happening all the time. So in general if you spend quite a bit of time with him, he will think long and hard before asking you out.
- then some blokes find it really difficult to ask women out, they are scared of rejection and get very embarrassed with the prospect of asking some out. They need to find the correct time and the correct place to ask someone out. It is not an easy thing to do. Sometimes men go to ask a woman out and something the woman says or something that happens when he is about to ask you out, will change the situation and he will quickly withdraw just before asking you out.
- And women tend to play games, where they seem keen to go out with you at one point, then all of a sudden they go cold, then they appear keen again all of a sudden. This confuses blokes.
In conclusion, unless he is a super confident, super good looking guy, he will think very carefully before asking you out.
There's no need to find an excuse for him not calling, not asking you out, not doing this and that.
Generally you will get an idea of whether he fancies you, by what he says and does. Most men find it very difficult communicating and can't think of things to say, so it should be the woman that takes the lead communication wise. I would have to say though, if he stops contacting you or is persistently short with his answers, then he might not be interested. Quite a few men don't want to appear like stalkers and therefore can seem quite cold and uninterested in the early stages of a relationship, this is particularly when the woman needs to take the lead in communicating with him.
You will also find that if you send him a stroppy text or have a stroppy conversation with him, he will just completely avoid you. Most men hate confrontations with women, women are better communicators than them so generally win and women generally make the confrontation last as long as possible, or so it seems from a blokes point of view. Men are better at winning physical battles but they can't have physicals battles with a woman.
(2) Guys who go clubbing are not relationship material.
There are many problems with clubbing, most of the problems are for women. Yes, there are a lot of men in the club who are just interested in a shag, without a relationship. But I wouldn't say that all men in a nightclub are not relationship material.
I think there is many things about nightclubs that make it so difficult to find the man of your dreams:
- You can't have a conversation, because you can't hear a word anyone says for the loud music. Even if you find a quiet area, you still have the problem that your ears have probably gone numb due to the loud music. This means you don't get to know the bloke very well and he doesn't get to know you well. This leads both you and him to making the wrong decisions about you being compatible. This suits the man more, because he is more likely to be just interested in sex, and he is not as good at communicating, so he is less likely to need to communicate in a nightclub.
- Either you or him or both of you will have had at least some alcohol. Alcohol clouds your judgements. It makes you go for blokes you would have never considered, you end up making mistakes, like having sex with a bloke you really could not have a long term relationship with.
- In general though, I would say that nightclubs are neither the best place to meet a bloke, nor are they the best place for picking up blokes who want a long term relationship. You need to get to know a bloke a lot more before you decide whether they are relationship material. A nightclub gives you chance to meet a bloke, but you should always opt for a date somewhere quieter before you decide whether you are relationship material.
- Finding the right bloke for you is not easy. There are so many barriers in the way. Is he single? Do you fancy him? Does he fancy you? Will the right opportunity come, to ask you out? When you go out will you like him? When you go out will he like you? Then after a while of going out, will you end up being happy or unhappy? People are very fussy nowadays, because people see too many movies and watch too many soaps and think they want a life like that movie or soap, in reality real life is not like that, but it puts those expectations into peoples minds. There are a lot of hoops to jump through before you find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
